Concrete Cactus
Concrete Cactus
This is the Concrete Cactus Podcast, where two lifelong friends from New Jersey—Ryan, now stranded in the blazing Arizona heat, and Brandon, holding it down back east—tackle life’s weirdest, wildest, and most entertaining topics with humor, hot takes, and (near) zero filter.
Each week, we bring you:
🔥 Stories that turn up the heat—Jersey’s big mouths and bigger attitudes, Arizona’s dry heat and even drier humor, and the hilariously bizarre quirks of East vs. West living.
🏀 Sports takes you didn’t see coming—Phoenix teams choking on the biggest stages, and the endless agony of East Coast teams.
📰 Scoops that break the mold—chaotic banter, unexpected headlines, and absurd takes that will leave you laughing and shaking your head.
This isn’t your average podcast—it’s a chaotic blend of comedy, relatable moments, and wildly different perspectives as we fellowship over music, sports, and the madness of everyday life. Whether you’re from the Garden State, the desert, or anywhere in between, you’re in for a ride.
New episodes Semiweekly! Subscribe now.
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Top 10 Concrete Cactus Episodes
Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Concrete Cactus episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Concrete Cactus for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Concrete Cactus episode by adding your comments to the episode page.
003 | better late than never
Concrete Cactus
02/25/25 • 32 min
Two friends, two states, one hilarious podcast.
Join Ryan and Brandon—a dynamic duo merging New Jersey grit with Arizona cool—as they explore cultural quirks, insights that challenge conventional wisdom and reveal unexpected truths throughout the conversation.
In this episode:
• Eagles exceed expectations - by light years!
• Mayor Meme (at this point you should expect him to appear in every episode)
• The Wonderful Adventures of Onijah Robinson
• Another unruly AZ zoomer went viral for exposing himself (no, not like that..)
Timestamps:
00:00 - COLD OPEN
01:35 - The Next Jets QB may be a retired twitch streamer
06:23 - 'Bipolar' New Yorker raising hell overseas
09:11 - Scottsdale teen's 3-in-1 racist tirade goes viral (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED)
12:26 - Eric Adams' finesse
15:39 - Anti-Vaxxer tried selling snake oil to a Astronaut and a crayon eater
18:10 - THE BIRDS BROKE THE STREAK
20:49 - Unsolicited stats from Superbowl 59
22:11 - Ryan attended the "Love, Hurts" parade
28:38 - NBA ASG was ASS
29:53 - WRAP-UP
31:39 - FIN.
Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!
004 | grapefruit league
Concrete Cactus
03/09/25 • 35 min
Join Ryan & Brandon—as they break down the absurdity of current events with humor, sharp insights, and just the right amount of cynicism.
In this episode:
• Ukraine. There. We said it.
• Certified Transformation Coaches
• Ryan's political typology REVEALED
• IN MEMORIAM: A lot
• A masterclass in proper political discoursing on TikTok
Timestamps:
00:00 - *Cold open*
01:49 - What's going on with Ukraine?
05:20 - What if.. New York.. got NUKED?! (View Discretion Advised)
*Hot Takes and Cold subs*
07:00 - Congestion pricing profits
08:59 - RIP KINGDA KA
10:35 - RIP RAINFOREST CAFE MENLO PARK
12:17 - Sneakerhead Train Heists: Arizona’s latest Crime Trend
13:36 - *Political segment starts here*
13:56 - Cuomo for mayor?
15:34 - Astronomical Twitter beef (View Discretion Advised)
17:33 - Native New Jerseyans arnt full-blooded Democrats.. or Republicans...
20:57 - RIP THE OLDEST MAYOR IN AMERICA
21:10 - *Sports segment starts here*
21:51 - RIP JOEL EMBIID'S SEASON (AND CONTRACT?)
22:27 - Phoenix Buns news
24:22 - RIP HOOTERS
25:38 - More Phoenix Buns news
26:57 - Kyler Murray might just end up being A QB1 in the Meadowlands
27:45 - Aaron Rogers might just end up being A QB1 in the Meadowlands (AGAIN).
28:53 - EVEN More UNSOLICITED Superbowl 59 stats!
*Wrap Up*
30:32 - Arizona (Literally) has the most Deadliest Roads in the United States
32:40 - We read (Then glaze) your comments!
34:46 - FIN.
Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!
000 | phoenix buns and congestion pricing for everyone
Concrete Cactus
01/15/25 • 45 min
In this debut episode, Ryan and Brandon—a duo blending New Jersey grit with Arizona chill—dive into everything from cultural quirks to hot takes on music, sports, and local news.
In this video, you’ll discover:
• Why small talk doesn’t exist in Jersey.
• A fiery debate over Billboard’s top artists of the century.
• How wildfires in AZ compare to LA’s raging blazes.
• The madness of congestion pricing in NYC and its controversial protests.
• The latest NBA trade buzz featuring Bradley Beal and Jimmy Butler.
This episode has it all—spicy opinions, comedic rants, and surprising insights into both coasts.
Timestamps:
00:00 – A (Cold) Open
01:24 – Small Talk: Jersey Doesn’t Do It, Arizona Won’t Stop It
01:56 – Billboard Drama: Taylor Swift Wins, Everyone Else Loses
06:41 – Big Trucks, Tiny People: What Arizona Drivers Are Hiding
07:04 – LA vs. AZ Fires: The West Coast Burn-Off Nobody Wanted
07:31 – Congestion Pricing: NYC’s Toll Trolls Strike Again
10:59 – LA Arson Rumors: Did Someone Really Start All This?
14:53 – NJ Teacher Tests: Easier Than the SAT, Harder Than It Looks
19:26 – THE SPORTS SEGMENT STARTS HERE
19:43 – Jimmy Butler: Will the Suns Rise or Set?
20:34 – Brad Beal: Bad Deal or Just Bad Luck?
25:10 – LA Rams in Glendale: Wildfires Make Weird Things Happen
34:52 – Petty News: NJ Man Proposes, Then... Yeah, It Gets Dark
39:19 – Obama and Trump Bonding at a Funeral: Bros Before Ballots?
44:25 – Arizona Drivers: They’ll Ruin Your Car AND Your Day
45:08 – Closing Chaos
Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!
005 | Mark Kelly Grounds #Tesla 🚗
Concrete Cactus
03/28/25 • 24 min
Mark Kelly trades in his Tesla for a tank and calls Elon Musk an “a**hole” on live TV. Meanwhile, LeBron James and Stephen A. Smith reignite a 21-year ego feud, and we break down one of the weirdest music videos in NYPD history, and tap into our inner-nostradamus with some free agency predictions that came true post-taping.
Also in this (unusually compressed) episode:
• IN MEMORIAM – one that actually matters
• Devin Booker isn’t leaving Phoenix. Enough.
• Errors & Omissions: stuff we got wrong (or didn’t mean to lie about)
Raw commentary, absurd news, and just enough facts to survive the group chat. Subscribe for semi-weekly chaos, callouts, and advice from AZ to NJ.
#Tesla #ElonMusk #MarkKelly #StephenASmith #LeBronJames #NFLFreeAgency #JoeBudden #NYC #DevinBooker #Politics #News #Podcast
Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!
001 | romans 3:23 gleams on generational screens
Concrete Cactus
01/26/25 • 31 min
In this episode, Ryan and Brandon—a duo blending New Jersey grit with Arizona chill—dive into everything from cultural quirks to hot takes on music, sports, and local news.
You’ll discover:
• Why “Central Jersey” doesn’t exist (and never will).
• Bold Super Bowl predictions and why Eagles fans never take a day off.
• Ryan's really not trying to catch any smoke from the government
This episode is packed with witty banter, thought-provoking insights, and plenty of laugh-out-loud moments.
Timestamps:
(01:13) – Opening remarks
(01:23) – SNO-tradamus
(02:28) – Supplements for Toddlers
(03:35) – TRUMP’s Officially #47: What It Means for AZ and NJ
(04:05) – Ryan’s moral obligation
(05:36) – Brewed Awakenings | VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED
(16:28) – Target Acquired: A Dump Truck’s Explosive Entrance
(17:38) – GOVBALL 2025 Line-down?
(18:54) – Purple Politics presents: "The Blame Game"
(23:34) – Elon’s Gesture: Autism Symptom or Far-right Dog Whistle | VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED
(24:27) – Phoenix Buns Served in a Minute
(25:20) – NCAA Championship & Travis Scott’s Performance
(26:06) – Big game candidates | VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED (If you're Cowboys, Niners, or Chiefs fan)
(26:59) – Knicks and Their Not-so-Secret Eagles Fan Club
(27:12) – Mikal Bridges: The NBA’s Iron Man
(28:17) – This episode's Wrap-Up is a real thing
(31:09) – Yes, We Ran Just 15 Minutes Less Than the Pilot
Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!
002 | gold birds & planes
Concrete Cactus
02/08/25 • 39 min
Join Ryan and Brandon—a dynamic duo merging New Jersey grit with Arizona cool—as they explore cultural quirks, insights that challenge conventional wisdom and reveal unexpected truths throughout the conversation.
In this episode:
• A Super Bowl conspiracy that doesn't involve refs
• DEI (but not liberal)
• A$AP Courtroom
• The riotous saga of Bobby “Gold Bars” Menendez
Timestamps:
00:00 – COLD OPEN ( Not Safe For Chiefs Fans)
00:45 – DEI: Diverse, Energetic- and Irreverent? (Not Safe for AOC stans)
03:09 – “Dirtiest” Cities in The US
07:45 – United & Delta Play Chicken Over Phoenix
11:30 – A$AP Rocky's Risking It All
14:21 – Man VS Interstate
15:30 – Bobby “Gold Bars” Menendez
18:56 – "Common Sense" spicy law in AZ? (Listener Discretion Advised)
22:06 – Goonicide UPDATE (Yes, It's Safe For Work)
22:54 – WE DISCUSS "THE BIG GAME" HERE
26:25 – Fan Almost SMOKED by Bradley Beal’s Wife
29:49 – Vince Carter Jersey Retirement No.2
33:45 – We react to a very sus comment
39:01 – FIN.
Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!
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FAQ
How many episodes does Concrete Cactus have?
Concrete Cactus currently has 6 episodes available.
What topics does Concrete Cactus cover?
The podcast is about Millennials, Comedy Podcast, Sports Talk, Comedy and Podcasts.
What is the most popular episode on Concrete Cactus?
The episode title '001 | romans 3:23 gleams on generational screens' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on Concrete Cactus?
The average episode length on Concrete Cactus is 35 minutes.
How often are episodes of Concrete Cactus released?
Episodes of Concrete Cactus are typically released every 13 days, 1 hour.
When was the first episode of Concrete Cactus?
The first episode of Concrete Cactus was released on Jan 15, 2025.
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