Coffee With Dr. Kashey

In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores a lively discussion on the intricate interplay of beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in food, eating, and body image. The episode delves into the TKN’s SRO model, dissecting its components, the stimulus, response, and outcome, along with the impact of rational and distorted beliefs on one's perception, actions, and results. Dr. Kashey humorously guides us through various outcome scenarios, from constructive gratitude to perfectionistic demands and catastrophic thinking. Dr. Kashey further explains how rational and distorted beliefs coexist, leading to demanding and self-defeating behavior patterns. He explains the four possible outcomes from the combination of objective results and subjective outlooks, emphasizing the importance of transforming rigid and distorted beliefs into flexible and rational ones.

In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about how Tabitha, a recovered diabetic binge eater, approached Thanksgiving and other social gatherings without punishing herself or engaging in self-hate. He shares Tabitha's powerful story of overcoming her past struggles with overeating and purging during holidays. Dr. Kashey highlights Tabitha's newfound mindset, where she focuses on enjoying her favorite foods without the desperate urge to consume everything in sight. Tabitha's transformation involved creating a list of her favorite dishes beforehand, prioritizing her choices, and being present in the moment with her loved ones rather than engaging in self-destructive behaviors. He explains the importance of developing a healthy relationship with food and shifting one's perspective from a competitive mindset to one of moderation and self-care.

In this episode Dr. Kashey further classifies frustrations into "discrete" and "chronic" varieties. Drawing from his expertise and humor, he paints a vivid picture of how these frustrations manifest in our lives and affect our overall well-being. Discrete frustrations are temporary obstructions best handled by rationally assessing the situation and responding deliberately. He emphasizes the importance of rational and deliberate responses to such frustrations, urging listeners to adopt constructive approaches in resolving them. However, chronic frustrations encompass entire life domains, manifesting as a pervasive sense of being overwhelmed. Dr. Kashey explains how "double trouble" - obsessing over minor issues - distracts us from addressing chronic frustrations. Using colorful metaphors, he likens this to bypassing a blocked artery or ignoring "the elephant in the room." He argues that discrete frustrations call for examining what constructive actions to take, while chronic frustrations require re-evaluating how we live.

In this extensive and thought-provoking episode, Dr. Kashey dives deeper into chronic frustrations - ongoing obstacles that spill across major life domains. He begins by reiterating the fundamental concepts of frustration, distinguishing between discrete and chronic frustrations, and highlighting their impact on the four domains of operational, emotional, achievement, and fairness. Using the common example of long term overfatness, he outlines how constant physical and emotional disruption propagates failures in achievement and perceived unfairness. Dr. Kashey explains how exacerbating factors like rigid "all-or-nothing" thinking and unrealistic expectations put people in a "cognitive grinder" of self-perpetuating failure. He colorfully depicts the mindset driving this unhealthy cycle, where distorted beliefs strengthen in the face of violating reality. For severe chronic frustration, quick fixes fall short; the very approach to life requires adjustment. With a compassionate understanding of these struggles, Dr. Kashey equips listeners to recognize and address the deeper roots of major life obstacles.

In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the emotive aspect of the Stimulus-Response-Outcome (SRO) model, focusing on Tabitha's journey in overcoming emotional disturbances and cultivating self-respect regarding physical activity. He explains the concept of "double trouble," where a practical problem escalates into an emotional disturbance, creating a destructive cycle. Dr. Kashey introduces three major techniques: shame extermination, cultivating self-respect, and role reversal. Shame extermination involves acknowledging and facing feelings of embarrassment and shame surrounding one's body and physical abilities. Tabitha learned to confront these emotions directly, recognising that while frustration and annoyance are natural motivators, upgrading them into anger, anxiety, and shame clouds rational thinking and prompts impulsive, self-destructive behavior. By systematically desensitizing herself to these emotions, Tabitha was able to build frustration tolerance and self-respect.