The Beastmaster

Explicit content warning

09/11/22 • 101 min

Was Chris Bauer cast to play Machine from “8mm” in this film? Why does everyone have a dumb name except for Seth in this film? Maax trying to shove this kid into the fire using a fireplace poker is hilarious. These super soldiers just look like WWF Bushwackers. Why is Dar’s adoptive Dad on a 3 am stroll through the woods? How many animals were murdered while filming this? For sure at least 1 dog. Why is this village on stilts? John’s dvd collection is impressive. Finally, human lawn darts sounds fun.
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Previous Episode

Tuff Turf

“Tuff Turf” more like tough to watch. Who thought that casting James Spader in this role was a good idea? We can’t unsee his bad spade tattoo. John has trouble remembering all the cars that were in “Braveheart” for some reason. Why does everyone in this school have a knife? There are literally no consequences in this town for any action, even murder. Corrections Corner, Blink 182 was on the “Tomcats” soundtrack. This dance sequence is problematic. Matt’s third grade self really knew how to get the ladies. This is the most we have sung during an episode. Sorry about that. Finally, We can smell your eye. It’s stinky.
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Next Episode

Roadhouse

This movie is insane! Have you ever heard of a nationally renowned cooler? None of us have 20 dollars. Why are there so many knives? What is the furniture budget for the Double Deuce? This one bouncer looks like Gabrus. How many times does this Doc leave town? Dalton's walk fuck technique is picture perfect. George has a stroke mid recording. Finally, how many stop signs does Dalton have piled up in the corner of his loft?
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Thanks for listening mijo.