Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

My guest this week is Daniel Grothe, associate senior pastor at New Life Church in Colorado Springs. He is the author of Chasing Wisdom and The Power of Place: Choosing Stability in a Rootless Age.

He is a two-time Grammy-nominated musician. He and his wife Lisa live on a hobby farm with their three children. You may remember Daniel. He was on my podcast in 2020, episode 205, and he is one of my favorite interviews of all time. He’s hilarious, kind and wise.

4:40 – Farm updates

• The resident elk herd is moving through right now. They just harvested their 20th cow and sent out another 2,000 pounds of beef.
• Life is full on Quiet Waters Ranch.

13:45 – The Power of Place: Choosing Stability in a Rootless Age

• We live in a divorce culture. It’s easy to be done and leave. We live in a place of impermanence, where everything is replaceable.
• Many people run from little annoyances and idiosyncrasies. But if we submit to where we are, God can make something of us.

22:37 – An age of wanderlust

• We live in a society of great cultural and social dislocation. We are living in an age of wanderlust.
• We have the deepest pockets of any society in history and maybe the loosest roots.

27:42 – Place, worship and people

• National Geographic did a study called the blue zones, pockets of centenarians who lived over 100 years old. They ate a lot of fish, walked a lot, stayed in the same place most of their lives, had a place of worship and had long-term friendships.
• Place, worship and people matter to longevity.

35:32 – The art of place making

• If you’re not in a threatening environment and are having just run of the mill problems, practice the power of place. People are the great purifiers.
• Make where you live wonderful, beautiful, life giving and rich.
• The art of place making – have you created a little nest, a little area where you can be human?

38:46 – Come home to family

• Do your work, go get your money and come on home to your people where you’re safe.
• Life is complex and people are going to frustrate us at work, but come home and feel peace.
• There is a depth of riches to be found in friendship.

43:21 – Sacred canopy of church

• Church can be a sacred canopy to provide joy, safety and protection.
• Submit to your local church

44:25 – Community

• What are you doing to make your community better?

52:07 – Stay in place

• You have all that you need right where you are.

55:33 – Get to know you

• Best concert he’s ever been to? Boyz II Men
• What actor should play him? Jim Carrey

FEATURED QUOTES

The art of place making – have you created a little nest, a little area where you can be human?

If we submit to where we are, God can make something of us.

We live in a society of great cultural and social dislocation. We are living in an age of wanderlust.

There is a depth of riches to be found in friendship.

CONNECT:

https://danielgrothe.com/

THANK YOU TO OUR PARTNER OF THE SHOW:

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Today’s show is an extremely requested episode. My husband, John, is a financial advisor and is here to answer all your money questions. Many of you have emailed and DMed me asking for this episode, so let’s jump into it.

3:11 – Why take financial advice from John?

• John is a financial advisor and owns a media company, Third Wheel Media.
• He migrated from journalism to interviewing financial advisors. He decided to do the job himself.

5:45 – John’s financial lessons

• Both of John’s grandfathers were good with money but in different ways.
• One grandfather was good at earning money by selling candy for a living. He was also a good investor.
• His other grandfather was good at not spending money. He didn’t make much money but he was a good saver and sent his kids to college.

8:39 – John’s first house

• John bought his first house at age 25 and put 20% down.

11:20 – Question: How to budget on one income and make decisions jointly?

• This is more of a marriage question. All of the money that comes into the household is joint money, no matter who earned it.
• With second marriages, spouses often maintain separate financial lives.

19:36 – Question: Do we have an allowance?

• Yes, we each have our own spending money each month.
• And yes, we have a monthly budget.
• If you have a blow money spending category, you can buy whatever you want.

27:05 – Question: Should kids get an allowance, tithe, etc.?

• Our son is 61⁄2, so he doesn’t understand as much about money. Our daughter, who’s older, understands more.
• We have kids’ piggy banks – spend (80%), share (10%) and save (10%).

35:15 – Question: What is a good dollar amount for retirement?

• No offense, but this is a pointless question because it’s impossible to answer.
• John has clients who retired with $175,000 in retirement savings. Most people would say that’s not enough, but they don’t spend much and are happy that way.
• John also has clients who aren’t getting much of a Social Security benefit. They have almost $2 million in savings, but they spend a lot each month.

42:38 – Question: Where do I start when living paycheck to paycheck?

• People in this boat are often so stressed that they can’t get out of their own way.
• There is a path out of debt, but it won’t happen overnight.
• Define your priorities (rent, car payment, food, etc.) and increase income.

52:12 – Question: Are you comfortable talking about money with family and friends?

• We’ve made money this thing you can’t talk about in our culture, but it isn’t like that in other cultures.
• It drives John crazy that families don’t talk about money, and children don’t know the financial situation of their aging parents.
• Why can’t we have these generational conversations about money?

56:01 – Question: Should I do a 529 or IRA for kids?

• Do a 529 for kids. A Roth IRA is not the best use of this money.

58:14 – Question: How do you save for a vacation when there are other priorities?

• You don’t have to spend a bunch of money on a vacation. It can be simple.
• If money is that tight, the vacation probably isn’t a priority.

1:04:08 – Question: What to do if my finances feel out of control?

• If you’re in financial despair, you don’t have a good command of your numbers.
• Find out what you spend on groceries and miscellaneous expenses.
• Spend a couple months and look at every expense.

FEATURED QUOTES

There’s always a way out (of debt). The question is, how disciplined and motivated are you to make it happen? – John

If you are in a marriage or partnership ... it has to be a mindset shift where this is our money, and not his money and her money. – Molly

This is why you need a financial advisor. We can figure this stuff out with you and determine what your life looks like and how much money you need. – John

Why can’t we have these generational conversations about money? – John

CONNECT:

https://rosewoodwealthmanagement.com/

Thank you to our partners of the show!

Are you looking to clean up your household cleaning products this year? MamaSuds would like to help! The best way is to simply start with one product. Every time you run out of a specific cleaning product, replace it with a non-toxic one. Another tip, purchase a product that has multiple uses. The MamaSuds Collection has many multiple use products (castile soap or the toilet bombs are just a few!). Their blog has lots of great tips and a castile soap recipe that you can print and make a lot of your own effective cleaners! Give them a try at www.mamasuds.com and don't forget...

My guest this week is one of my best friends in the world, Sharon Hodde Miller. Sharon is an author, co-pastor at Bright City Church in North Carolina, and she teaches about faith, culture, and the Bible. She is a wife, mom to three kids, and lover of all things Disney.

5:09 – Sharon 201

• This is Sharon’s second time on the show.
• She has spent the past two years pastoring her church during a pandemic and homeschooling her kids.

8:23 – The Cost of Control book

• Sharon’s latest book, The Cost of Control, is about why we crave control, the anxiety it gives us and the real power God promises.
• Sharon turned inward and realized she was having big control issues at home with her kids and shouldn't be homeschooling them.

17:50 – Overwhelming information

• Every time we open our phones to check social media or the news, we are being overwhelmed with information.

24:05 – Constant access to media

• There’s constant negativity on social media, and that makes some people feel a level of control.
• We have lost the ability to disagree with each other, and it is costing us our mental health.

37:15 – Coping with loss of control

• When we lose control in one area of our life, we often exert control over other areas.
• Some people cope with stress by cleaning.
• God doesn’t give us control, but He does give us agency.

41:14 – Anxiety and red flags

• Anxiety is a big red flag, and your body can tell you a lot about how you’re feeling.
• Some people clench their jaw, for example.
• You need to name your problem accurately. Don't rush past it.
• You are feeling anxious because you are ingesting news all the time.

59:24 – Words of wisdom

• Control is something we all struggle with. We know we should surrender and trust God instead of ourselves.

1:02:08 – Get to know you

• Career change? Work at Disney World
• Guilty pleasure? Disney podcasts

FEATURED QUOTES

It costs us whenever we try to have control, and this isn’t an “if,” it’s a “when.”

God doesn’t give us control, but he does give us agency.

You are feeling anxious because you are ingesting news all the time.

Honor the limitations of your soul and have boundaries around that.

Control is something we all struggle with. We know we should surrender and trust God instead of ourselves.

CONNECT:

https://sheworships.com/

Thank you to our partners of the show!

Are you looking to clean up your household cleaning products this year? MamaSuds would like to help! The best way is to simply start with one product. Every time you run out of a specific cleaning product, replace it with a non-toxic one. Another tip, purchase a product that has multiple uses. The MamaSuds Collection has many multiple use products (castile soap or the toilet bombs are just a few!). Their blog has lots of great tips and a castile soap recipe that you can print and make a lot of your own effective cleaners! Give them a try at www.mamasuds.com and don't forget to use the coupon code MOLLY for 15% off your order!

I’d like to thank our other partner of the show and that’s Tradlands. Tradlands is an INCREDIBLE sustainable fashion brand that believes in clothing that you can live in NOW and love forever. Clothing that not only makes you feel like your best self, but also fits in a way that flatters. Their gorgeous dresses, pants, tops, and more are designed to move with you throughout your busy days. Their Nico dress is my dress in a love language —not only does it have sleeves, but also POCKETS and you know how I feel about dresses with pockets. I love how comfortable and stylish each piece - and they come in colors like classic neutrals or vibrant hues. One of the things I love most about Tradlands is their focus on sustainability and creating small batch clothing that lasts... they never over produce what they make and focus on only the highest quality materials. And you know how much I love supporting small businesses, too. Check them out at https://tradlands.com/businesswithpurpose and use the code MOLLY20 for 20% off!

My guest this week is Katelyn Beaty, an editorial director for Brazos Press. She loves words and believes they can change the world. Katelyn is a Midwest native living in New York City and has written for The New Yorker, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and The New York Times on topics such as politics, gender, and theology.

She is cohost of the Saved by the City podcast and previously served as print managing editor at Christianity Today. She’s the author of Celebrities for Jesus: How Personas, Platforms, and Profits Are Hurting the Church and A Woman's Place: A Christian Vision for Your Calling in the Office, the Home, and the World.

2:48 – Katelyn 101

• Katelyn’s an oldest child and an INFJ/Enneagram 3w4.
• She was excited to head to Italy to spend some time with girlfriends.

7:10 – Passion for writing

• She loved reading the newspaper as a child and learning what was happening around the world.
• Katelyn was the kind of student who enjoyed writing papers in high school and college.

10:00 – College newspaper

• In college, Katelyn loved writing op-eds in the college newspaper. Students came up to her and said they appreciated her articulating what they had been thinking.

20:30 – Celebrities for Jesus book

• It’s not a light, breezy topic, but it’s hopeful.
• Don’t center ministries on one charismatic individual.
• Spiritual leaders need accountability, especially those with big platforms.

45:10 – Forgiveness

• You need to make things right when things are broken.
• Restitution is important when you have done wrong.
• Avoid apologies that sound like PR statements, and sit out longer than you think you need to.

1:03:29 – Get to know you

• Weirdest pet peeve? Standing on a moving walkway

FEATURED QUOTES

I enjoy helping authors steward their message well.

I was the kind of student who, in high school and college, enjoyed writing papers.

The bigger your platform, the more accountability you need.

CONNECT:

https://www.katelynbeaty.com/

Thank you to our partners of the show!

Are you looking to clean up your household cleaning products this year? MamaSuds would like to help! The best way is to simply start with one product. Every time you run out of a specific cleaning product, replace it with a non-toxic one. Another tip, purchase a product that has multiple uses. The MamaSuds Collection has many multiple use products (castile soap or the toilet bombs are just a few!). Their blog has lots of great tips and a castile soap recipe that you can print and make a lot of your own effective cleaners! Give them a try at www.mamasuds.com and don't forget to use the coupon code MOLLY for 15% off your order!

I’d like to thank our other partner of the show and that’s Tradlands. Tradlands is an INCREDIBLE sustainable fashion brand that believes in clothing that you can live in NOW and love forever. Clothing that not only makes you feel like your best self, but also fits in a way that flatters. Their gorgeous dresses, pants, tops, and more are designed to move with you throughout your busy days. Their Nico dress is my dress in a love language —not only does it have sleeves, but also POCKETS and you know how I feel about dresses with pockets. I love how comfortable and stylish each piece - and they come in colors like classic neutrals or vibrant hues. One of the things I love most about Tradlands is their focus on sustainability and creating small batch clothing that lasts... they never over produce what they make and focus on only the highest quality materials. And you know how much I love supporting small businesses, too. Check them out at https://tradlands.com/businesswithpurpose and use the code MOLLY20 for 20% off!

My guest this week is Selina Ho, founder & CEO of Recloseted, a company that is working to transform the harmful fashion industry. She learned she had to do her part after learning the devastating truths behind garments.

Selina gathered a team of all-stars — from sourcing experts to material scientists – and leveraged her own business experience working at startups and Fortune 500s to help amazing slow fashion clients.

When she’s not working, Selina loves to hike and snowboard, meditate/do yoga, or cook a new recipe.

3:57 – Selina 101

• Recloseted is the first one-stop consulting agency for sustainable fashion.
• The company helps launch and scale sustainable brands and make existing companies more sustainable.
• She wore a polyester shirt at work and broke out in a rash. That led her down a rabbit hole of what’s in clothing.

7:39 – What she has learned

• A lot of synthetic materials are made out of oil.
• Cotton uses so much water.
• Selina was shocked by the treatment of garment workers.

15:42 – How she helps companies

• Recloseted works with companies to determine budget, resources and goals.
• Many of the owners are creative, passionate people who need business knowledge.

21:07 – Bumps along the way

• There are trials and tribulations and rough patches, but you need to keep going.
• You haven’t failed until you stop.

25:13 – Leveling up

• At every level of business, you become a better version of yourself. You keep leveling up.
• A big thing has been realizing and learning how to lose control. When it’s your business, you really like to hold on tight.
• You need to trust other people to do good work, and you need to empower them.

30:43 – Future proofing your business

• Sustainability is not a nice-to-have. It’s a must-have.
• Make sure your finance and business is sustainable and in order.

39:20 – Recloseted Radio

• Selina talks more about this topic on her podcast, Recloseted Radio

41:24 – Get to know you

• Favorite meal? Poke bowl
• Something we’d never guess about her? She’s very outdoorsy

FEATURED QUOTES

For me, a big thing has been just realizing and learning how to lose control. When it’s your business, you really like to hold on tight.

You need to trust other people to do good work, and you need to empower them.

At some point, you need to not be the smartest person in the room.

https://www.recloseted.com/

Thank you to our partners of the show!

Are you looking to clean up your household cleaning products this year? MamaSuds would like to help! The best way is to simply start with one product. Every time you run out of a specific cleaning product, replace it with a non-toxic one. Another tip, purchase a product that has multiple uses. The MamaSuds Collection has many multiple use products (castile soap or the toilet bombs are just a few!). Their blog has lots of great tips and a castile soap recipe that you can print and make a lot of your own effective cleaners! Give them a try at www.mamasuds.com and don't forget to use the coupon code MOLLY for 15% off your order!

I’d like to thank our other partner of the show and that’s Tradlands. Tradlands is an INCREDIBLE sustainable fashion brand that believes in clothing that you can live in NOW and love forever. Clothing that not only makes you feel like your best self, but also fits in a way that flatters. Their gorgeous dresses, pants, tops, and more are designed to move with you throughout your busy days. Their Nico dress is my dress in a love language —not only does it have sleeves, but also POCKETS and you know how I feel about dresses with pockets. I love how comfortable and stylish each piece - and they come in colors like classic neutrals or vibrant hues. One of the things I love most about Tradlands is their focus on sustainability and creating small batch clothing that lasts... they never over produce what they make and focus on only the highest quality materials. And you know how much I love supporting small businesses, too. Check them out at https://tradlands.com/businesswithpurpose and use the code MOLLY20 for 20% off!