Buy Like a Guy

If you're like most guys, you haven't spent much time thinking about what kind of wedding ring you'd like, and honestly, until you have a need for one, you don't really care. Most guys don't wear a lot of jewelry, if any, so when it's time to shop for your wedding ring, what are you supposed to do? (Besides, start thinking about it.)

However, having a wedding ring is important, yes...even for guys. Is it life or death important? No. But neither is that watch you've been eyeing up, or that bike, sailboat or the hunting dog you just "have to have" because she's perfect.

While a guy's wedding ring can seem like an afterthought, I want you to know, she doesn't feel that way, and over time you won't either.

This is new to most of you, and it sounds simple, and it is, but it feels weird, and you're definitely not on your game when you're doing something as foreign as picking out a ring for yourself.

Here's what you do: Surrender, then Start.

Surrender to the fact that you don't know much about this (yet), but you will learn as you go. Especially when you go to a trusted independent jewelry store. (The people there will teach you a ton.)

And here's how you start. You just scan the rings in the case, give 'em the old up and down, and as you go along, look at the different styles. As you do this, ask to try on the one's that grab your attention. It's that simple.

Here are a few questions to keep in mind as you're trying on rings:

-What kind of metal is it? (Or, "What is this made from?") -How much does it cost? -Can I wear it to work? -Can it be resized?

And where are you going to get those answers? From your friendly sales associate at an independent jewelry store. It's the easiest way to go about it.

Today's episode is brought to you by https://www.perrysemporium.com/

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home. Or, you can shop online at my jewelry store right here: https://www.koehnjewelry.com/

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

If you’re the kind of person that doesn’t give a whole lotta’ "you know what’s" about fine jewelry or diamonds, or where the prices come from, I’m here to tell you, that’s okay. In fact, I think it’s perfectly normal.

If diamonds, gemstones, precious metals and fine jewelry don’t interest you...don’t learn about them.

I believe this is true for pretty much all things. If something doesn’t interest you, find someone who knows their stuff, and let them do the work for you.

This is a common theme in pretty much every podcast I’ve done so far, mostly because it’s almost always a fail safe way to get things done quickly, and easily. (With one important footnote that I’ll mention at the end.)

I think the idea of finding an expert to make your life easy, particularly in the jewelry department, makes sense and saves time because there is a lot to learn, and quite frankly a lot of people think it's boring. And that's perfectly okay, because there are people like us...professional jewelry experts...all over the world...who DO take an interest in it, and learn about it, and study it and then arrange for these valuable items, and powerful symbols to be at the ready, when YOU'RE ready to take the plunge.

I know people want you to care more, but if you don’t, you don’t. And there's no shame in that.

What I’ve found over the years is that a lot of guys are cool with whatever they buy when they know just 2 things: How much does it cost? Is she going to love it?

These are highly logical questions, and important ones. They may be the only 2 questions that need answering before you decide what to buy.

This got me thinking. I used to know the late, great Chris Farley back in my college days at Marquette University, and that sometimes leads me to think of the movie Tommy Boy. (If you haven't seen it, you should. It's good old '90's humor, and Farley is a classic!)

There is a scene the movie that illustrates my point about seeking out expert advice to make life easier as you get to your end game. It's near the beginning, and Tommy Boy’s dad, "Big Tom," is talking “sales” at his wedding to a bunch of guys at and around his table, and he says, “Of course I could get a helluva’ good look at a T-bone steak by sticking my head up a bulls ass...but I’d rather take the butcher’s word for it.”

I love that line because it clearly illustrates what I'm talking about when I tell people to seek out experts, and let them do their work on your behalf.

Like when you're hunting for the right piece of jewelry. If you’re not interested in knowing more about what you're buying besides what it costs and if she'll like it or not...no worries. Take the butcher's word for it...and hit the "go" button.

But here's the footnote I promised: this only holds true if you’re dealing with a reputable place.

And how do you find that place? You ask around, read some reviews...use word-of-mouth...visit a website...or you could listen to Episode 36 called “Diamonds, Heroes, and A Simple Answer: The Best Advice for Making Jewelry Buying Easy” where I spell it out for you.

Physically going to a jewelry store is a thousand times more effective than trying to purchase online, because you can actually talk to the butcher. (Of course I’m referring to a jewelry professional.) It's like having a human search engine standing right in front of you to answer your questions (if you have them) as they guide you to the perfect piece for your particular situation.

To loosely quote Big Tom: "They’re going to help you get that jewelry...and you won’t need to stick your head up a bulls ass to do it.

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

There are some fantastic pieces of jewelry that are beautiful and impactful, and they tend to cost a lot of money, and it's also the kind of jewelry that she won't wear "all the time."

It begs the question, “Why would I spend a lot of money on something that she won’t wear that often? It's not 'practical.'"

That makes some sense I suppose, and it can seem like a valid reason not to buy that fancy bracelet or those diamond hoop earrings for an anniversary, a birthday, or certain holidays because they’re fancy and she won’t wear them all that often.

Women echo this argument because just like men, they’re a little confused as to why someone would buy or give something that costs so much money, that she won’t wear but a few times a year. (Special occasions.)

I happen to believe that logic is not the best way to make a decision when it comes to our most prized possessions in general, and jewelry specifically. I believe jewelry is a need, and if you'd like to know why, listen to Episode 10: “Diamonds and Jewelry: The Best Investment You’ll Ever Need.”

But why do I say logic is NOT the best way to justify fancy jewelry purchases? My answer is philosophical, I have to warn you, but it’s also something I believe. The reason I say this is because Life is short.

Normally, when we say, “Life is short,” we tend to gravitate towards and think about the moments that are really big ones for us, right? We don't think, “You're right, life IS short, I better get the grocery shopping done.” Or, “man, life is short, maybe it’s time I started using fabric softener.”

The life is short mantra tends to move our thoughts into milestone moments we hope to have, or achievements, or going for that elusive goal we’ve been talking about forever. We think of big memories, like getting married, the birth of our children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews, the monumental anniversaries and dream vacations, and unfortunately, the loss of loved ones along the way. It's not a pleasant topic I know, but as my mom and dad used to say, “Death is also a part of life.”

The point is, we tend to talk about and remember the big moments in life, but there are little moments too, and they're most certainly tied to those earrings or that ring she won’t wear every day, if you let them. These little moments are the ones that we don’t remember at all. We know they happened because we’re another year older, and something happened between the bigger, more memorable moments. They’re small and habitual. They're forgotten bits of time that end up being how we spend the majority of our lives here on earth.

But the reality is that the forgotten times, combined with the remembered ones, are the history of our personal lives.

Then we mix up our lives with someone else’s personal history to create a whole new history that takes us in a direction we hoped for. Maybe it's committing ourselves to one person for this short life, and having children, a home, a garden out back, or opening a dance club. I don't know any of that because these are your dreams, so have at it. That’s a little deep and of course I simplified the ups and downs and circles of Life, so what does this have to do with jewelry anyway? (Much less those nicer pieces that can seem impractical?) I'd argue that those impractical pieces, as so many people put it, are worth the money you invest, even if they’re not going to be worn every day.

I'll tell you a little story that happened this past holiday season when my wife and I were attending a very small get together with a few friends. At one point during the evening I noticed our hostess was wearing a diamond bangle bracelet, which for most people is not an everyday piece. (It wasn't for our hostess either.) I'll tell you how I complimented her on the bracelet, and how that quick exchange gave birth to this episode, and my explanation as to why I know that "fancy" jewelry, even though it's worn just a few times a year, is worth your investment. (Actually it's worth MORE than the money you'll spend, and I'll argue that as well.)

It comes down to the way extra-special jewelry, the "not every day" jewelry, enhances the forgettable moments, and doesn't leave us with specific memories per se, but a general feeling of a life well lived. Take listen and by all means let me know your thoughts. Am I right? (Say yes...)

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Ma...

In this episode I'm going to talk about something that resonates with both men and women: When you glance down at your brand new ring, and see those first few scratches and dings. It can be disheartening, and you may even be surprised you even care.

Whether it's a minor scratch, a ding, or a chip, it happens to everyone. It's kind of like those times when you discover a scratch on our car door or a chip in the windshield. (I'll cover a little something about a Rolling Stones song that applies. Well, sort of.)

The good news is that most of the time, it's not a sign that your ring is poorly made. These imperfections are often just cosmetic and can be easily polished out by a skilled jeweler.

You may be surprised to hear that I recommend you DON'T buff those scratches out of your rings or jewelry.

I'll share a true story from my early days in the jewelry business about an experience I had with an older woman who was visiting from Japan. She said, "You know you Americans always want everything to look new and shiny. For me? Each one of those scratches in my ring is a part of my life. I will never have those polished away."

The lesson: rings and things are physical objects and we live in a physical world, and when the two come in contact with each other, there’s going to be some physical evidence that an event took place...even if it’s a microscopic scratch from our steering wheel.

It's nothing overly important or noteworthy, it's simply LIFE...happening.

I say let it happen...let it show...and if or when your prized pieces really need some sparking up because you just can’t stand it anymore...go ahead, and take your jewelry to your favorite jeweler and get a tune up. But if you’re like me, the collective scratches and dings that show up on your rings or other favorite jewelry will feel a little cooler, because they’re there.

As Ferris Bueller says, in the classic movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Maybe those scratches and dings in your rings shouldn’t be polished off, but contemplated for a few seconds when you notice them. Not to recall what caused them, but to appreciate all the days that passed before, and those that are yet to come.

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

Note: This episode was originally published on September 21, 2023

This is an auspicious moment because in this episode, for the first time, I’m going to address "The Ladies."

Specifically, I’m going to talk about what you, as a woman, should NOT do when you and your fella go to look for his wedding ring.

When it’s time to pick out his wedding ring, he just might for your opinion. (Most likely he will!) And you should help him out by giving him one. (Or 2 or 3. This shouldn't be a problem for most of the women I know. Ha!)

Picture this: A cute couple decides it’s time to pick out his wedding band and so they’re going to go visit their favorite independent jewelry store. (Always go to an independent jewelry store.)

What’s going to happen is he’s going to start trying on rings to see how they look. Simple and easy. Maybe.

It’s normally awkward for him because this is probably the first time in his whole life that he’s going to pick out a piece of jewelry for himself, so this is completely foreign to him, and he’s in the uncharted waters of the jewelry world yet again. (Not a guy's favorite place to be.)

Most men are comfortable talking about cars, a boat, golf clubs, or even a watch for that matter, but the ring he's supposed to wear for the rest of his life? Not so much...

He's going to need a little help and at some point he might turn to you and ask, “What do you think of this one?”

Now ladies, this is what you should NOT do or say at that point: “I don’t know, you have to wear it.”

That is a terrible answer because the person he trusts the most, you, leaves him hanging, and it's embarrassing and offers zero help or direction.

When he asks that question it’s most likely because he found a ring style he likes and he’s looking for your approval.

So help him out, and have an opinion...and share it.

If you don’t have an opinion, it means you’re not paying attention, or maybe you actually don’t care...but you know what? Care. Even if it’s just for a little while.

It’s not a big ask, and I can tell you he’ll appreciate it further on up the road.

Guys are easy. We ask because we want to know what you think, and most times we’re looking for a verbal nod that, "Yes, I like what you picked out," and even, "I don’t like it, how about that one?” (If that happens you can start to hone in on a ring that you both like and you can move forward with rest of the infinite plans you need to check off the list for your wedding day.)

Last tip: Your guy (or girl) wants your opinion, but he/she wants to have a say as well. Be open to that...and if he’s really digging a certain ring style, go with it, because you know what? Your "one-and-only" wants to like their wedding ring too.

If you'd like help finding a jeweler closer to home, email me at [email protected] and I'll do my best to put you in touch with some of the best jewelers on earth.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987