Ep. 61 - Why It Makes Sense To Give "Impractical" Jewelry She Won't Wear Everyday

Explicit content warning

01/18/24 • 10 min

There are some fantastic pieces of jewelry that are beautiful and impactful, and they tend to cost a lot of money, and it's also the kind of jewelry that she won't wear "all the time."

It begs the question, “Why would I spend a lot of money on something that she won’t wear that often? It's not 'practical.'"

That makes some sense I suppose, and it can seem like a valid reason not to buy that fancy bracelet or those diamond hoop earrings for an anniversary, a birthday, or certain holidays because they’re fancy and she won’t wear them all that often.

Women echo this argument because just like men, they’re a little confused as to why someone would buy or give something that costs so much money, that she won’t wear but a few times a year. (Special occasions.)

I happen to believe that logic is not the best way to make a decision when it comes to our most prized possessions in general, and jewelry specifically. I believe jewelry is a need, and if you'd like to know why, listen to Episode 10: “Diamonds and Jewelry: The Best Investment You’ll Ever Need.”

But why do I say logic is NOT the best way to justify fancy jewelry purchases? My answer is philosophical, I have to warn you, but it’s also something I believe. The reason I say this is because Life is short.

Normally, when we say, “Life is short,” we tend to gravitate towards and think about the moments that are really big ones for us, right? We don't think, “You're right, life IS short, I better get the grocery shopping done.” Or, “man, life is short, maybe it’s time I started using fabric softener.”

The life is short mantra tends to move our thoughts into milestone moments we hope to have, or achievements, or going for that elusive goal we’ve been talking about forever. We think of big memories, like getting married, the birth of our children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews, the monumental anniversaries and dream vacations, and unfortunately, the loss of loved ones along the way. It's not a pleasant topic I know, but as my mom and dad used to say, “Death is also a part of life.”

The point is, we tend to talk about and remember the big moments in life, but there are little moments too, and they're most certainly tied to those earrings or that ring she won’t wear every day, if you let them. These little moments are the ones that we don’t remember at all. We know they happened because we’re another year older, and something happened between the bigger, more memorable moments. They’re small and habitual. They're forgotten bits of time that end up being how we spend the majority of our lives here on earth.

But the reality is that the forgotten times, combined with the remembered ones, are the history of our personal lives.

Then we mix up our lives with someone else’s personal history to create a whole new history that takes us in a direction we hoped for. Maybe it's committing ourselves to one person for this short life, and having children, a home, a garden out back, or opening a dance club. I don't know any of that because these are your dreams, so have at it. That’s a little deep and of course I simplified the ups and downs and circles of Life, so what does this have to do with jewelry anyway? (Much less those nicer pieces that can seem impractical?) I'd argue that those impractical pieces, as so many people put it, are worth the money you invest, even if they’re not going to be worn every day.

I'll tell you a little story that happened this past holiday season when my wife and I were attending a very small get together with a few friends. At one point during the evening I noticed our hostess was wearing a diamond bangle bracelet, which for most people is not an everyday piece. (It wasn't for our hostess either.) I'll tell you how I complimented her on the bracelet, and how that quick exchange gave birth to this episode, and my explanation as to why I know that "fancy" jewelry, even though it's worn just a few times a year, is worth your investment. (Actually it's worth MORE than the money you'll spend, and I'll argue that as well.)

It comes down to the way extra-special jewelry, the "not every day" jewelry, enhances the forgettable moments, and doesn't leave us with specific memories per se, but a general feeling of a life well lived. Take listen and by all means let me know your thoughts. Am I right? (Say yes...)

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Ma...

There are some fantastic pieces of jewelry that are beautiful and impactful, and they tend to cost a lot of money, and it's also the kind of jewelry that she won't wear "all the time."

It begs the question, “Why would I spend a lot of money on something that she won’t wear that often? It's not 'practical.'"

But the reality is that the forgotten times, combined with the remembered ones, are the history of our personal lives.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Ma...

Previous Episode

Ep. 60 - Timing the Knot: Navigating the Timelines of An Engagement Ring Purchase

In this episode I'm going to clue you in on something that I learned last week after talking with the girls here at the jewelry store.

First time listeners, if you don’t already know, I get a wealth of information about women from Lindsay, Susan, Kristyn, Katie, Morgan, Ali and my wife, Jenn. (Yes, I’m the only guy here.)

A guy came in to meet with Lindsay for the second time, to decide which engagement ring he was going to buy. He had a list of characteristics that he wanted to review, so he could propose with the “right” ring. While Lindsay thought he was coming in to get the ring he wanted to propose with, he had other ideas.

He came, talked, learned, and then made a decision about which ring he was going to get, and then he left...without a ring.

Which prompted me to ask this question: Does a guy have to feel ready to get engaged before he buys the ring? I don't think so...especially when you realize that the timelines of a woman who is looking for engagement rings is probably different from yours.

I learned that from Lindsay and the others when she said something like, “I don’t think guys realize that as soon as she starts talking about rings, or they go out and look at them together, she’s ready to get engaged. She’s ready to accept that ring.”

I think that's some golden insight there, which is why I'm passing it on to you in this episode. Am I saying that because she’s ready, you need to "step up" and get her a ring and propose? Not at all.

You're part of the equation too, and sometimes I think people forget that. It can feel like it’s all about her, and of course it’s not...it’s about both of you. However, Lindsay's insight is really good to know if you’re ready to pop the question.

Why? Because you know she’s going to say YES. If you’re ready to roll, and you want to ask her to marry you, and she’s been talking about rings, maybe you both went and looked at them together and you and your sales professional know what she’d prefer...you’re golden.

She’s ready. Get the ring and plan that proposal. She’s gonna say YES.

So what about my question as to whether or not you have to be ready to get engaged before you buy the ring? I fully believe you can buy the ring well before you’re ready to pop the question. Sounds far fetched? It's not. It’s been done before, and fairly often I might add.

Guys who do this have a great sense of relief and confidence because ring buying part of the process is over and done with. It’s kind of like booking and paying for a trip way ahead of time. It takes a ton of pressure off.

I'll tell you a story about a guy who bought her engagement ring after the first date! It's a rarity I'll admit...but it's a cool story and I tell because it illustrates the point beautifully. The main thing to know is this: when your girl brings up the subject of rings, or you ask what kind of ring she’d like...and she shows you...and maybe you go a step further, and physically go to a jewelry store and “kick some tires” as they say, her timeline is very short from that moment on...even if yours is further on down the road.

That’s fine. I’m not suggesting you need to propose on her timeline alone, but what I am suggesting is that it’s not unheard of to buy the ring you know she wants...and the one you want to give her...well before you have a planned proposal date.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

Next Episode

Ep. 62 - Why Do We Wear Wedding Rings On The Ring Finger of Our Left Hand?

As human beings we have an innate need to express ourselves to the rest of the world. Whether through our clothes, our time pieces, sharing our tastes in music, wearing our favorite team's merch...and of course, wearing a ring on the ring finger of our left hand, to tell others that, “Hey! Hands off. This girl or guy is spoken for.”

But how did this come to be an almost universal practice in Western cultures?

You may have never thought about it because it’s pretty much a non-negotiable these days, but where did this all start? Apparently the roots of this tradition began in ancient Egypt, where rings were given as a symbol of eternity and an unbroken circle of love. That remains true to this day, even if you’ve never thought about rings in that way. (Like I said, strong symbolism there.)

In previous episodes and actually in real life, I tell guys all the time, "Rings say more than any other piece of jewelry you can give someone, so if you give a ring, you better mean it."

We can thank the Romans for that, since they started that tradition. The specific choice of wearing wedding rings on the fourth finger, now commonly called the ring finger, of our left hand found its prominence in ancient Rome. They held a belief that the "vena amoris" or the "vein of love" ran directly from the ring finger to the heart. Hence, placing the wedding ring on this finger became a ritual symbolizing the eternal connection and love between the betrothed. So wearing a ring on the ring ring finger of one's left hand was and is a profound gesture, echoing the idea that love flows directly from the heart.

Medieval Europeans and the Christian Church played a pivotal role in solidifying the practice during the ring ceremony, infused with religious significance, that involved the priest placing the ring on the left hand's ring finger while invoking the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It was a sacred act that further enshrined the tradition in the hearts and minds of the people that attended, witnessed, and took part in such ceremonies. Obviously this still happens in one form or another in similar ceremonies to this very day.

As history unfolded, the tradition traversed continents and cultures and continued to gain momentum. However, it wasn't until World War II that the left hand, ring finger tradition gained widespread recognition in the United States.

Soldiers and their brides would wear their wedding rings on the left hand, ring finger as a visible and tangible connection to each other. It sounds like that’s when it found a permanent place in our culture, because it became a cherished tradition that endured beyond the war.

Of course this tradition continues today...even if, until now, you didn’t know why. So there you have it, a shallow dive into the history of wedding rings and why we wear them where we do.

This information might come in very handy someday. How? I can't rightly say, but of course life is a miraculous thing, and there just might be a free beer in your future because you can correctly name the vena amoris. Stranger things have happened...

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987