Growing Together Build in Public Daily 20

04/12/23 • 7 min

[00:00:00] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Welcome to the Soul Growth Build and Public Podcast. Thank you for joining us today. I'm Stacy Gonzalez, one of the co-founders of our Build Public podcast. And for the first time tonight, I'm here with my co-founder, Renee Devore. Say hello, Renee. Hello everyone. So tonight we are going to talk about the highs and the lows of being founders of a startup.

And I'm gonna share my high of today and my low. And then I'm gonna pass this over to Renee for her to share what was her high and her low. And I think for me, the high today was, um, for the past two days, Renee has been coming to my home work. We live very close in proximity to each other. And before I even like totally get into that, let me back up for a second.

And thank you and welcome you to the podcast. I was so excited about the day that I forgot to welcome my listeners. So thank you for being here today. But back to what I was sharing, Renee and I live very close to each other, and the best part of that is we get to work together in person. And while that is lovely and amazing, sometimes it's also difficult and causes me to be face-to-face with some of the difficulties of the work that we are standing up right now.

And so today we were working on building out some backwards. Some curriculum, uh, for some work that we're doing. And it just was really challenging. And while Renee and I were working, I could feel on the inside how I was starting to get a little stressed out about it. And I wanted to be very open. I was hoping that I could listen to what she was having to say.

Kind of take her ideas, put 'em into structure, help us. To an end outcome and through the course of trying to figure out how to engage with one another around this work, we just had this moment where, what did you say to me when I said, I'm done now. What did I say? How did that happen? You

[00:02:18] Renee: just said, I'm done.

And I was like, well, that didn't

[00:02:20] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: feel good. Yeah. I said, I'm done. And she said, well, that didn't feel good. And then what happened? Do you remember?

[00:02:30] Renee: No. And then you kind of went on and just like we were trying to navigate each other where we were in that particular timeframe. Um, and then you got emotional.

[00:02:40] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: I did get emotional. It was a really hard conversation and I think the hardest part was I was feeling very, we're gonna get off up here. I was feeling super, like I was trying so hard to be flexible and I. Really wanting to allow your creativity to shine through. I wanted to be really open and I wanted to be really, um, like available to what your thoughts were.

And so I was trying really hard to like push aside what I was thinking and hone into what you were thinking. And, and then it just, I, I think I got overwhelmed at some point,

[00:03:28] Renee: but I also. Because you were not coming as you are. Like you were, you were showing up differently in order to serve me. Mm. Which I think that there's benefits to that, but I think it was almost like over overkill to the point where it, it confused things you were working like over time.

Yeah. To try and navigate the project that we were working on and also, uh, you know, connect to whatever my needs were, how I operated and. I think that that's part of how the, the overwhelm piece of this all came

[00:04:03] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: to be. Yeah. And so what I realized when we kind of had this moment where Renee was like, yeah, that didn't feel great the way you just said that.

Like, I, cuz I was like, I'm done now and

[00:04:20] Renee: we can laugh at it now. We can. We weren't laughing at it. We weren't laughing five hours ago.

[00:04:25] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Um, I think what it really made me realize was that I, I can have a voice in the process as well, and I can, um, also set boundaries. Around Here's how I'm thinking something should look or feel.

Um, and I think I just wasn't doing that today. Mm-hmm. greatly. Mm-hmm. .

[00:04:51] Renee: Well, I think the, the other thing that also, uh, showed up today was this fear that you, you, yeah. Abandonment. Fear. Yeah. The fear that you carry forward into this relationship of thinking that it could end at any time, and then if you take the wrong step or do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing.

I'm gonna leave this partnership and I think that that was, um, a really important breakthrough for both of us today. For me to hear that and then you giving me examples of like, when I say in 10 years I wanna be retired and living in Mexico, . You thinking that that means I'm just, you're breaking up with me today.

Break up with you 10. From now today. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and that just isn't the case. I think we both have been through, like me getting into my first, uh, you know, engagement at the age of ...

[00:02:18] Renee: just said, I'm done.

And I was like, well, that didn't

[00:02:20] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: feel good. Yeah. I said, I'm done. And she said, well, that didn't feel good. And then what happened? Do you remember?

[00:02:30] Renee: No. And then you kind of went on and just like we were trying to navigate each other where we were in that particular timeframe. Um, and then you got emotional.

And so I was trying really hard to like push aside what I was thinking and hone into what you were thinking. And, and then it just, I, I think I got overwhelmed at some point,

[00:04:03] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: to be. Yeah. And so what I realized when we kind of had this moment where Renee was like, yeah, that didn't feel great the way you just said that.

Like, I, cuz I was like, I'm done now and

[00:04:20] Renee: we can laugh at it now. We can. We weren't laughing at it. We weren't laughing five hours ago.

Um, and I think I just wasn't doing that today. Mm-hmm. greatly. Mm-hmm. .

Break up with you 10. From now today. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and that just isn't the case. I think we both have been through, like me getting into my first, uh, you know, engagement at the age of ...

Previous Episode

Lots to Learn Build in Public Daily 19

Hello, my friends. Welcome to the Building Public Podcast. I'm Stacy Gonzalez, your host and co-founder of Soul Growth, a boutique and unique lifestyle brand creating soulful experiences for women who desire to live the life that they love and deserve. And so today's update is gonna be pretty. because I'm tired.

And it's a Friday, and it's Easter weekend, and it was a really busy day today and very emotionally charged. Um, a lot of conversations that did not go great for me today and, and some that did go great. Um, but certainly I had a whopper of a conversation. Um, and in yesterday's podcast I shared the email about the women that I had invited to help me build out the digital platform.

And on our call today to do introductions, um, as I started to open discussion around the value. around what they were hoping for and what would they want to get out of this experience of volunteering to help build this. It, um, was, became very apparent to me that one of the women in particular, um, felt that I was not clear in what I was asking her to do.

and that I was coming across as directive potentially, and

it was a really difficult, I could tell as she was kind of very graciously and professionally explaining to me my lack of clear communication that I. listened and thanked her. And then we had a call, we had a call after after that. And a couple things about, about that is it really helped me realize, like as I've been reflecting on it today, what do I need to do?

Well, I think I need to write a, kind of like a report, a narrative. Um, when I was. Building the education team. I had a committee, one of my, um, committees in the district. And so I created an entire booklet, um, of information about what that, that would look like, um, and how we would meet and connect and gather and all kind of like the rules and, and regulations.

and I think that's too much. But I do think I need something documented. And so I need to start creating some documentation and I'm gonna need some space and some head space to do that. And so I've gotta really look at my calendar and think about how I want to, um, start that process so that way Renee and I have information.

Um, and we have, we have an ability to connect with others without us being there. And then maybe making like a little video or something, right? So there's a video if you wanna watch it, and here's a, here's a handbook. Um, and so all that to say it was a really, it was a tough. , I had a lot of anxiety today.

I felt like I took a lot of big risks with people today in conversations and some felt like I stumbled and I failed and I, um, but I got back up and I went over to Renee's and I felt really badly because she. Was really feeling bad about her father's death and, and grieving. She was just really grieving.

Um, but I was glad that I got to go over there and be there for her. And so this founder's journey is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It is stretching me in such new ways and. parts of me that are becoming more creative, more open, more thoughtful. And then there's these other parts of me that are like, how is this all gonna work out and where are the pieces gonna come together?

And um, and I have this plan. Are, can we really make, can we really get to what we need to get to? So anyways, all that to say, I'm really thankful for this time in this space to, um, build in public with you. So thanks for being on journey with me and really looking forward to, um, keeping this building public journey going.

Next Episode

Suddenly, What a Wonder! Build in Public Daily 21

Welcome to the Soul Growth Build in Public podcast. There's something about this word suddenly that is really coming up for me today, and so for my build in public update around the sole growth company that we are building, I think this word suddenly is the word I wanna emphasize. and what has occurred to me as I am a Chicago native.

I live in the Chicagoland area where , the winters are really, really dark and really, really cold, where you aren't even sure that nature exists outside because things are frozen over. And right now it's April and this week things suddenly changed. The weather turned and we've had an entire week in the eighties.

And what's been so interesting is the energy and the aliveness that has come with this sudden change in temperature. There are people out in my neighborhood walking. There are dogs. . Being excited on walks and people waving and the kindness that strangers are exhibiting is quite remarkable. And a reminder that after long, cold, dark winters, that spring and summer will emerge.

And that's what my cell. Personal journey has been like, one of the books that I really appreciate and have enjoyed is Thomas Moore's, dark Knight of the Soul. And in that book, he really describes this journey where when we are in the dark, deep, dark, cold places of our. . Um, we're really the only ones that know what we're going through and know what that experience is like when we cannot feel sense, see, hear, or understand that there's anything for us on the other side of this darkness.

And suddenly things start to appear. Life emerges. Energy begins to move in significant and meaningful ways, and that. What has happened not only in the Chicagoland area where I live, but also for me in this soul growth business journey. This week I was really struggling with some of the digital aspects around the build out of our soul growth community and mastermind groups, and was struggling.

Some of the details and the copy and the digital assets that needed to be built out and really was in this kind of this dark place around marketing. And you know, people have asked me, oh, if you had somebody gave you a million dollars or a hundred thousand dollars right now to do something with for the company, what would you do?

And I've. Hire a marketing strategy team, a go to market strategy around these digital assets, because if you're building a digital company, having digital assets that are aligned that represent who you are and what you do, I think is probably one of the, if not the most important aspects of a digital presence.

Now, the things that you create and put into the world are representative of the vision, the mission, the values, the identity of the company. And that is hard. That's hard work. That's deep work. That's that's challenging work. And so as Renee and I have been muddling through that work, we've been doing the best that we can with the skills that we have, right?

Our skills are in teaching, our skills are in leading. skills are in trusting and building, not necessarily designing digital artifacts to build digital systems. And this week I had a really powerful conversation with someone who I believe is, is I'm not ready to talk exactly about what suddenly occurred because I wanna give it some time and space and opportunity to grow in bloom.

But I just wanna take this podcast. This moment to acknowledge this inflection point, this suddenly that we are experiencing. And so growth. You know, it's one thing to build a company based on a product. It's another thing entirely to build a company based on a sheer belief. The goodness of humans and the desire of human beings to want to operate from a deeper place, a more fulfilling place, a space and a place where it is really grounded and rooted in their identity.

And so that's what we're aiming for. That's what we're going for, is we are building soul growth. And I think this week has challenged me in some ways, um, to just sit down and start. Building out a Luma page and building out a, um, a zoom, you know, live event and just putting it out there and, and having it be paid and expecting people to see the value, um, understand the value and wanna participate.

And so, um, a little nervous, a little excited on both ends, but still consistently continuing to show up. And I think that. The ultimate purpose of being on a soul growth journey , is that no matter what is happening, no matter what we're feeling, no matter what is coming our way, we continue to show up on this soul growth path.

So I am Stacy Gonzalez, and if you are new to this podcast, I appreciate you listening. Thank you for taking the time to think deeply about what you. For your soul, for your journey, what does your soul growth look like? What does it mean for you? Invite you to share that with us. Join your journey with ours.

Thank you.