Helping our Kids Explore their Identity

Exploration is a prerequisite to having a settled identity. For parents with kids unsettled and exploring, this can be a frightening time. What role do we play in the exploration process? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter will help us sort it out.

Show notes:

Identity:

• Is the sense of self – Who I am and who I am not.

Identity Formation:

• Starts with exploration and ends with commitment.
• Exploration is trying, investigating, experiencing, researching.
• Commitment is being settled, resolved and grounded.

Identity Culture in “the west”:

• It is constructed individually. This means that the community has a limited influence on placing an identity on an individual. Rather, the individual has the ownness of discovering and embracing their identity.

Challenge:

• Our young people are saddled with the task of sorting out their identity for themselves.

Angst:

• Watching young people explore their identity.

Opportunity:

• Support and guide exploration in community.
• As possible, try not to rigidly force closure on those in the exploration phase. Rather, have dialogue that prompts healthy exploration. Thoughtful open-ended questions, and critical thinking prompts are necessary to guide wise investigation.
• Have patience in the process with a goal to maintain relationship.

Fear:

• Suppose an unwise identity is chosen?
• Remember: Where there is life, there is experience. Where there is experience, there is exploration. Where there is exploration, there is hope yet for a good commitment.