Ep55: 1973 - Aladdin Sane and Pin-Ups vs. Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid and DYLAN or The Glam Gaucho of 1973

06/15/20 • 70 min

Dye your horsehair red, dolled-up dogies, and join us for an olden yet futuristic romp with David Bowie and Bob Dylan through the year 1973! Meet your cast of characters:

David Bowie: I'm one of the biggest stars in the universe. Or STARdusts, IF you know what I mean!

Bob Dylan: Heeeey, me too! Except substitute the space metaphors for old west ones. Literally everyone on earth knows who I am in 1973, whether I like it or not, which I definitely don't.

Sam Peckinpah: I don't know who you are. Who is this kid? I mean, who is this Billy the Kid?

Kris Kristofferson: Sammy...what? It's my good friend Bobby! Ever since I swept up his commemorative one millionth cigarette butt in 1966, I've found him to be the most magnetic acting presence anyone's ever done laid eyes on!

Sam Peckinpah: That's patently untrue. But...as a young, hungry, up-and-coming musician, I guess he might have a future?

ColumBS Records Executives: Well, he did, Sam, he really did, he used to, we guess, until he disappointed us deeply by continuing to sell millions of records but not releasing super-classics every 5 months. I know! Let's release his worst album to convince him to stay on with us now that we kicked him to the curb but then he unexpectedly had a gigantic hit.

David Bowie's Outrageous Red Mullet: This is my time, baby!

Bob Dylan's Slightly Subdued Fro: This is my time to get shoved under a period-specific Stetson cowboy hat! Check me out again starting in the year 2000 and continuing until the end of time.

David Bowie's Fans: AAAAAAAAAGHGGHHGHGHGHHGHGH WE LOVE YOU ZIGGY WE BOUGHT ALL YOUR RECORDS!!!!

Bob Dylan's Family: AAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHHHHHGGHGHH, Mexico is hell for us.

The Spiders From Mars: Wait, what did David just say? Did we just get canned on stage in front of thousands of fans who definitely love us just as much if not more than David Bowie? He couldn't have just-

David Bowie: You're fired! Sorry, not sorry, mates, on this 1973 edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Dye your horsehair red, dolled-up dogies, and join us for an olden yet futuristic romp with David Bowie and Bob Dylan through the year 1973! Meet your cast of characters:

David Bowie: I'm one of the biggest stars in the universe. Or STARdusts, IF you know what I mean!

Bob Dylan: Heeeey, me too! Except substitute the space metaphors for old west ones. Literally everyone on earth knows who I am in 1973, whether I like it or not, which I definitely don't.

Sam Peckinpah: I don't know who you are. Who is this kid? I mean, who is this Billy the Kid?

Sam Peckinpah: That's patently untrue. But...as a young, hungry, up-and-coming musician, I guess he might have a future?

David Bowie's Outrageous Red Mullet: This is my time, baby!

Bob Dylan's Slightly Subdued Fro: This is my time to get shoved under a period-specific Stetson cowboy hat! Check me out again starting in the year 2000 and continuing until the end of time.

David Bowie's Fans: AAAAAAAAAGHGGHHGHGHGHHGHGH WE LOVE YOU ZIGGY WE BOUGHT ALL YOUR RECORDS!!!!

Bob Dylan's Family: AAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHHHHHGGHGHH, Mexico is hell for us.

David Bowie: You're fired! Sorry, not sorry, mates, on this 1973 edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Previous Episode

Ep54: 2006 - Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! vs. Modern Times or The Portuguese Radio Hour! of 2006

Setting: Circuit City brand electronics store, circa 2006.

Bob Dylan fan #1: Heeeey. I'm looking for that sweet new Bob Dylan long-playing music album, my brother, where can I find it?

Lone Circuit City Employee #1: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhhhhhh-

Bob Dylan Fan #1: Don't hurt yourself, friend, I'll just look...over...here, next to the....other consumer electronic merchandise? Which, now that you mention it, appears...barren?

David Bowie Fan #1: I can relate! Bowie might as well change his name to David BARREN for all the new albums he's been putting out lately, amiright? It appears that he's in the middle of some unexpected hiatus, a vacation, a Bowie Breather? A Bowie Break? A Bowliday? Maybe we should do this using his first name, but I just can't seem to get it, oh well, it will never be named by anyone ever.

Bob Dylan Fan #1: I'm just looking for Dylan's new album, it went #1 in 47 countries, it's tots controversial? It's called Modern Times? Anyone?

Lone Circuit City Employee #1: (drooling)

Intercom: Dear former Circuit City customers, Circuit City is going bankrupt as we speak! Please cheerfully clear the floor so that the remaining merchandise can be hauled to the nearest area Best Buy for resale, including the only known copy of Bob Dylan's Modern Times! Thanks for never shopping at YOUR Circuit City ever again, byeeeee!

Bob Dylan Fan #1: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggghhhhhh, on this 2006 edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Next Episode

undefined - Ep56: 2014 - Sue (Or in a Season of Almost Nothing! Absolutely Nothing!) vs. The Basement Tapes Complete or The Chrysler Ad Compilations of 2014

Ep56: 2014 - Sue (Or in a Season of Almost Nothing! Absolutely Nothing!) vs. The Basement Tapes Complete or The Chrysler Ad Compilations of 2014

The myriad choices for your preferred Super Deluxe Edition of this Bowie vs. Dylan Podcast 2014 have arrived by magic horseback, delivered by hand, by Bob Dylan and David Bowie! Aren't you thrilled? Check out all the special deviations and features, and pick your favorite to own, or your most favorite favorite, since you'll for sure want them all:

7 CDs, 14 LPs, 1 DVDs: Bowie looks suave as H, making you slightly uncomfortable to show the 70 page booklet of Hot Granddad Bowie photos to your Granddaughter. Dylan looks like his Vincent Price mustache has been poorly CGI'd right off his ancient yet eerily smooth face, making you equally uncomfortable in a totally different way to show the photos to your Granddaughter or anyone else really. Cost: $85

1 CDs, 1 LP, 14 DVDs: Whoops, we had found even MORE hand-written lyrics from Dylan's Basement Tapes years, and accidentally included the originals in this boxset. Those are practically priceless. Please send this one back! Cost: Priceless

0 CDs, 22 LPs, 0 DVDs: Jazz Covers Edition! Bowie records exactly one (1) jazz cover for inclusion, the remaining content are Dylan's efforts, totaling one thousand (1000) mellow, crooning contributions. Cost: $235

390 CDs, 0 LPs, 0 DVDs: 195 separate "Best Of" compilations for each of Bowie and Dylan's greatest contributions to music. 195 different chronological track listings each, 195 different orderings based on country where sold for each, 195 different hand-drawn album cover arts for each. 1 result: INCREDIBLE SUCCESS. Cost: $4290. Note: set cannot be broken up into individual compilations.

10 CDs, 10 LPs, 100 DVDs: This episode and this episode only re-enacted word for word in different podcasting styles by some of the biggest musical stars of the day never to be knocked from their cultural pedestal ever: Jim James! Elvis Costello! Taylor Goldsmith! Rhiannon Giddens! Marcus Mumford?! Producer: T-Bone Burnett. Listener: YOU. Cost: $1,000,000

0 CD's, 0 LP's, 0 DVD's: One (1) podcast broadcast for free ($0) via all of your favorite podcast platforms and players. Cost: $0

Myself and Chaz bought all of them, even the weird "priceless" one, so if you're any kind of fan you'll follow suit, just kidding, we love you, on this 2014 edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.