BOWIE VS. DYLAN

Jake presents the English version of his French thoughts on Benoit Charest's The Triplets of Belleville as his choice for the agreed-upon "One-Artist OST" theme. Charlie also discusses it from that one recent time he listened to it at the gentle behest of the above-mentioned Jake, but also because he's been quite familiar with it since it came out in 2003. It's probably more the latter than the former, to be honest.

Bon appetit! For your ears, that is, on this edition of Louder Than Sound.

Happy New Year!

We here at Bowie vs. Dylan would like to celebrate the arrival of 2020 with a completely relevant and forward-thinking conversation about the distant past, in this case 45 years past, related to the comings and goings of David Bowie and Bob Dylan in the year 1975. This makes perfect sense to we here, and we here hope that it makes sense to you, too, dear listeners, because if you expected a year-end/year-beginning wrap-up/dress-down, you'll be sorely mistaken. We here know that you there expect the latest-developing and hardest-hitting news from the respective camps of our latest musicians, and we know you expect it NOW. But you there will just have to wait 2 weeks, until the 15th of January, 2020, just as the good Lord intended when He proclaimed that the format for our podcast would be thus, on the 10th Day I think it was (?), and so take it up with Him and slog it out with the 1975 podcast instead.

It's actually quite the battle on this edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Bowie vs. Dylan CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE #42

Page 1: David Bowie and Bob Dylan embark on a grand tour of the year 2008. Choose which approach, euphemistically speaking, that they take to find out what happens next; try and imagine what both entirely different artists would feel during this year collectively, that is, as a combined force although they barely ever met and didn't know one another at all. A.) A pensive yet flippant attitude of worthwhile nothingness and paternal obligations (page 38) B.) Hopeful yet immediately regretful of some vague notion of change (page 65) C.) Combing one's hair in that classic style (page 101) D.) Neverendingly touring (page 3,072).

FLIP TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

Page 38: Both artists, together, perhaps arm in arm, wander near a tiger pit and accidentally fall in. Both die. Begin at page 1.

Page 65: Bowie approaches an evil mastermind in his technologically advanced lair, smiling all the while as a show of good faith towards the villain, while Dylan covers him using an antique hunting rifle. Both die. Begin at page 1.

Page 101: Dylan climbs a beautiful, tall mountain against the violent urging of a strangely paranoid Bowie, who is responding to some unseen but surely felt intuition brought to him seemingly on the wind. Regardless, Bowie follows Dylan to the peak out of a sense of duty and human decency, and sure e-frickin-nough, that mountain was a volcano and it erupts. Both die. Begin at page 1.

Page 3,072: Bowie has a nice time at home while Dylan tours the world and releases a pretty sweet Bootleg Series. Both die, but not in the year 2008, on this edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Scene: Inside the gameplay of a state-of-the-art, immersive virtual reality experience available on 7 CD-ROMs, particularly the 4th CD in the series of 7.

Bob Dylan: Hey fans. Come along on an epic virtual journey with me, Bob Dylan, by watching this grainy, pixelated music video from 1986, available to view when you enter the door of 1961-era Cafe Wha?

David Bowie: NOT DARK ENOUGH, man. Where, for example, are the gutted pigs, the shaved heads, the too-long trench coats, over-saturated color pallet?

Bob Dylan: What? Are those words that you just said? I can only assume that it has something to do with this archival photo of me, Bob Dylan, at Columbia Records Studios circa 1962 waiting for you in a dirty bathroom in Greenwich Village?

David Bowie: OOOOOOH, that does sound goth. Goth is really in right now, says my best friend Trent Reznor. Trent, come on over and play this game with me, it's really goth, man, really goth.

Trent Reznor: You know, I would? But I've got a date with Marilyn Manson to hang each other by giant hooks in a rotting meat locker by our belly buttons. So...

Bob Dylan: How does that work? Who goes first? How does the second person get hung when the first one is already up there?

David Bowie: Really goth, man, really goth. I'd rather do that than bow to the establishment like a bloody sheeple wallowing in society's constraints. I'm not playing my hits, so DON'T EVEN ASK!

Bob Dylan: I'm playing my hits...

David Bowie: Erm, well, me too, but not until 2000 or so, but until then, DON'T EVEN ASK.

Trent Reznor: In order to continue, please change to disc #5, on this edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

We here at Bowie vs. Dylan want to present to you a VERY special episode wherein Chaz and Jake rank the Top Ten Era/Phases/Whims/Career Choices of David Bowie's and Bob Dylan's career, and you're welcome to listen to it, because it's a TOP TEN LIST, and we believe it to be of similar quality to all the other podcasts that came before.

But we must warn you, the podcast is turning 40 today, and even though over the last two centuries the life expectancy of podcasts has literally doubled, and there is ample revolutionary medicine and surgeries available that podcasts of the past could not have even imagined, and 40 is the new 27.5, statistically, and at least as far as podcasts are concerned, I mean, have you seen that Bowie vs. Dylan lately? What a listener.

Anyway, but since the podcast is turning 40 today, we have to warn you that it's OVER THE HILL. And that suddenly there's too many candles and not enough birthday cake. And that it knows that it's 40 because the only weight-lifting it does is from standing up. And that it's twice as sexy as two 20-year olds. And that it's NOT 40, but actually 39.95 plus shipping and handling. And that it will enjoy it's first colonoscopy. And that it's not 40, but actually 18 with 22 years of experience.

40!!! It's all downhill from here!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, these jokes never get old like a 40-year old, on this episode of Bowie vs. Dylan.