Episode 12: A Very Small Age-Gap, with Justine Fava-Cartwright

03/20/25 • 73 min

Born on The Rock: Gibraltar Birth Stories

KEY TOPICS: 2 births, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), infertility treatment, emergency & elective caesarean, 13-month age gap, suspected postnatal depression

In this episode we meet our first 1990's babies, born to Justine Fava-Cartwright and her ex-partner. They faced fertility struggles due to Justine's hormonal imbalances and erratic cycles... in later life she was diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Justine highlights the emotions involved when facing challenges to become pregnant. Soon after starting Clomid treatment, she conceived! Justine had a good pregnancy, but a difficult and lengthy labour resulting in an emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic. She explains how the experience left her feeling 'robbed,' and impacted her initial bonding with her first son. Combined with the 90's stigma about being "too posh to push," it lead to suspected postnatal depression.

There's some humour as Justine describes the moment she discovered she was pregnant again... when her first baby was just 4 months old! This time the birth was a far more positive experience, as her second son arrived by elective caesarean. Justine talks about the tough juggling act of adjusting to life with twin-like toddlers, while also returning to work with limited childcare. She openly admits feeling pushed to her mental health limit during those early years, yet reflects on the positives of a small age gap and a supportive ex-partner.

This episode concludes with a discussion of what it's like to parent grown-ups and enter grandparent territory, plus the continued special bond between the two brothers. There's poignant, emotional moments and funny anecdotes throughout this chat, and I'm grateful to Justine for so honestly sharing her Gibraltar Birth Stories! Recorded January 2025

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KEY TOPICS: 2 births, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), infertility treatment, emergency & elective caesarean, 13-month age gap, suspected postnatal depression

Find 'Born on the Rock: Gibraltar Birth Stories' on Facebook and Instagram for more

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

Episode 11: One Twin, with Louise Busto

KEY TOPICS: 3 births, miscarriage, twins, premature, baby loss, caesarean, VBAC, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

In this emotional episode, we meet Louise Busto and her partner: parents to twin boys born in 2010, and a third son born in 2014. As a trigger warning, please note that this episode is a very difficult listen as it involves discussion of baby loss.

Louise describes a generally good healthy pregnancy, before complications set in at 23 weeks requiring her transfer to Spain for specialist monitoring and facilities at 25 weeks pregnant. Poignantly, she describes her trust in the medical professionals, and how the gravity of her situation did not immediately seem apparent. The time spent delaying labour makes for tense listening, before the boys were born by caesarean section at 27 weeks. It’s hard to hear how helpless Louise and her husband felt in the following weeks, as the boys’ health took twists and turns... and when medical complications eventually led to the unbearable loss of one twin: Owen.

Louise had the support of family, but describes the difficult return to the Rock and the impact on her mental health. She channelled her grief into a positive force and with the help of other brave mothers, established the charity BabySTEPPs in 2012 to support other parents in their journeys through early parenthood and pregnancy. After two miscarriages, Louise became pregnant again with their third son Theo. She describes how it felt to carry to full-term this time (actually past the due date!), and what it was like to have a contrasting 'textbook' experience. There’s an interesting conversation about how the family keep Owen’s memory alive to their sons, particularly with surviving twin, Leon.

Louise speaks so eloquently about an experience that is every parent’s worst nightmare. Tragically baby loss does impact families, and Louise hopes that sharing her story provides some support for others to know: you are not alone. She also shares advice on what to say, and what *not* to say to grieving parents. I’m so grateful for this powerful addition to the podcast and want to thank Louise for her bravery and strength in sharing. Please visit BABYSTEPPS on Facebook for support, or UK charity SANDS.

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Next Episode

Episode 13: A Midwife Special, with Denise Camilleri

KEY TOPICS: 1 birth, fast labour, natural birth, positive experience, midwife

To finish season 1, it’s wonderful to welcome local midwife Denise Camilleri with almost 20 years experience delivering babies on the Rock! This episode is in two halves – the first is an insight into the Maternity Unit at St Bernard’s Hospital and the workload of a midwife, as Denise gives a fascinating insight into trends over time and her many varied professional experiences.

The second half is her own positive story from naturally delivering her son in 2016... imagine giving birth in your workplace! She shares the techniques that she found to be successful, and gives advice to women preparing for pregnancy and labour (see the chapters below for topics covered). Huge thanks to Denise for this incredibly engaging and inspiring episode!

03:10 – Work of the Maternity Unit: Staff numbers, shifts and caseloads. What’s the most babies born in a 24hr period? Does a full moon really affect activity?

14:09 – Pandemic: How did restrictions impact midwives, mothers and birthing partners?

18:30 – The Waiting Room: Support versus pressure from family members, plus recent changes.

23:54 – Parental Education Classes: Teaching parents-to-be about labour, pain relief, coping mechanisms, infant feeding and newborn care.

27:37 – Birth Plans: Preferences versus reality, pressure of own expectations, impact of emotions such as guilt, fear and stress; benefits of staying open-minded

35:04 – Mindset Tools: Mantras, hypnobirthing & mindfulness, plus the negative impact of phones on the ward.

38:25 – Birthing Pool: Can women have a water birth in Gibraltar?

40:37 – Birthing Interventions: Have caesarean rates increased, and if so, why? How important is maternal self-care?

45:40 – The Hard Stuff: How do midwives cope when things go wrong? And when a baby dies?

51:15 – What Women Say: What are some of the strangest/funniest things labouring mothers say? How do you handle confrontation at work?

56:33 – Qualities to be a Midwife: Compassion, empathy, patience and communication to name but a few! What are the career path options into midwifery?

1:01:23 – Recognition of Maternity Unit Work: Do people on the outside realise the value of the Unit? What’s the community perception of midwifery work?

1:03:00 – Kids Grow Up: What’s it like to see the babies and mothers years later? How many babies have you delivered across your career?

1:05:40 – DENISE’S BIRTH STORY

Denise reflects on the questions: Can you be a good midwife if you’ve never had a baby? And does it help or hinder to have extensive maternity knowledge?

She describes a good pregnancy in her mid-30’s, with nutrition and self-care very important in helping her feel well. Denise went into labour spontaneously at 38 weeks, and explains how she juggled her professional training versus the uncertainty and pain of a new mother as contractions increased and a fast birth approached. Delivering her baby alongside colleagues, she describes a positive and instinctual experience, as well as her adjustment to feeding and parenthood. Thank you Denise for this amazing episode!

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