#53 - Practicing Healthy Detachment

Wondering how detachment relates to boundaries and why practicing detachment is so difficult? Listen close because in today’s episode we dig into the definition of detachment and how properly implementing this skill in our relationships will help strengthen them and our boundaries.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #53:

• Detachment cannot be practiced without boundaries because no matter how you choose to detach, a boundary must be set for detachment to succeed.
• It is important to recognize the people and situations who you should detach yourself from and why. Sometimes you have to detach from a person completely, and other times you detach from a situation regarding a person.
• Detachment does not mean that you are selfish or that you should keep your thoughts and emotions to yourself. Also, detachment is not neglect. You have a duty to pay attention to things that are wrong and address them.
• When you are feeling very charged about a situation or very righteous about a situation, it may be healthy and advisable to practice detachment.
• There are several skills to hone in order to improve the art of detachment. Listen well, state your attachment out loud, and know the difference between sharing your reality and controlling the other person’s behavior.

Highlights from Episode #53:

• Vicki welcomes listeners to today’s episode and talks about detachment and how it relates to boundaries. [00:39]
• Vicki defines detachment, and how it relates to setting boundaries. [01:50]
• Detachment and boundaries go together but they are also related and detachment cannot be practiced without boundaries. [02:50]
• Vicki dives into different areas of attraction in several types of relationship structures and the potentially harmful levels attachment can reach. [04:41]
• There are two different ways to think about detachment and Vicki reveals both. [06:46]
• Vicki reveals all the things that detachment is not and the things to watch for when detachment goes wrong. [09:13]
• Vicki talks about the times that detachment is helpful are advisable. [17:10]
• Learn the skills needed to learn and practice the art of detachment. [21:35]
• If you’re just starting the practice of detachment, start slow in less charged situations. [29:51]
• Detachment is ultimately about freeing you from feeling as if you need to manage others. [30:57]
• Vicki recaps what detachment is, why you need it, and how to practice it. [31:34]

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 37: The Listening Boundary Part I
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 39: The Listening Boundary Part II: How It Works
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 40: The Listening Boundary Part III: High Quality Listening = Higher Quality Responses