28. Everything I wished I learned in Sex-Ed

03/26/20 • 71 min

Better in Bed | A Sex & Sexuality Podcast with Sarasense

What were you taught in sex-ed, and what do you wish you had learned? Often there’s a big difference between the two!

Sara and guests Jules Hannaford, teacher and host of the Hong Kong Confidential podcast and comedian Elena Gabrielle of Story Party, talk about the sex education we received, which was shrouded in fear, abstinence and shame.

We share our early sexual experiences, and reflect on what we wished we’d known about STI’s, consent and responsibility at that time.

We also talk about how we learned about sex and intercourse from a biological standpoint, but there never seemed to be enough focus on the social and practical aspects of sexual relationships.

Jules gives some guidance for parents on how to speak to their children about sex from a young age and encourage a healthy sexuality. We conclude that sex education shouldn’t just start and end in school, it can be an ongoing journey of learning for adults too.

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Detailed show notes for this episode here.

P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

What were you taught in sex-ed, and what do you wish you had learned? Often there’s a big difference between the two!

We share our early sexual experiences, and reflect on what we wished we’d known about STI’s, consent and responsibility at that time.

We also talk about how we learned about sex and intercourse from a biological standpoint, but there never seemed to be enough focus on the social and practical aspects of sexual relationships.

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How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz

Detailed show notes for this episode here.

P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

Previous Episode

27. BDSM for Beginners

Is your perception of BDSM and kink informed by the infamous Fifty Shades of Gray?

Even though the Fifty Shades franchise does a lot to bring BDSM to the mainstream, it also get a lot of things wrong. Particularly one of BDSM’s key principles, negotiating consent.

Sara and co-host Kat sit down with Jannus of KinkBites — a veteran kinkster, community organizer, and Hong Kong dungeon manager — to lament the Fifty Shades effect, and the myths and misconceptions around BDSM that it perpetuates.

We talk about how the “church of kink” is full of variety (and not all about pain) and how kinky people come from all walks of life. Jannus’s shares his own personal introduction to kink – when his desire to learn how to do better drag resulted in a fateful encounter with Mistress Decima, Hong Kong’s “Godmother of Kink”.

Jannus provides recommendations to beginners and newbies who want to get started with BDSM. He sheds light on common BDSM terminology, what toys one can start with, dating as a kinky person and how to introduce a vanilla partner to your kinks. All in a fun, non-threatening, consensual manner.

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How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz

For more sex-positive resources, visit Sarasense

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Detailed show notes for this episode here.

P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

Next Episode

29. Sex FAQs - How do I Corona-Proof My Sex And Love Life?

How has the global pandemic affected your sex and love life? And how can you ‘corona-proof’ your relationship against the stress, uncertainty and conflict?

A crisis like the one we find ourselves in accelerates the dynamics of any relationship, and you may feel more intense emotions for each other or reach breaking point more quickly.

We’re all concerned about staying physically healthy during these times; but it just as important to keep your relationships safe, strong and healthy too.

Sara chats with clinical psychologist Dr. Kimberly Carder, as we discuss practical strategies and solutions to answer the following crowdsourced questions from followers:

How do I reduce anxiety for myself, and comfort and reassure my partner during this crisis?
I’m around my partner all the time, and we don’t have much desire for sex right now. How can we spice things up and re-capture that sense of excitement?
We’re both stuck at home at this intense time, which is driving us to nitpick and fight with each other over lots of small things that wouldn’t normally bother us. What can we do?
My partner and I are stuck in different cities, and I’m feeling lonely and bored now that we’re separated. What can we do to feel more connected?
My partner thinks I am over reacting and minimizes my fear of the coronavirus, how can I get them to take it more seriously?
Is it even safe to have sex these days?

Kim and Sara talk about why the power of “teamwork” is more essential than ever during these times, and the need for the 4Cs – creativity, communication, connection and commitment – to strengthen any relationship, and keep things hot and sexy!

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Want more tips on corona-proofing your sex and love life? Get Sara’s online training

Follow Dr Kimberley Carder on Instagram

Detailed show notes for this episode here

P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)