26. Sex and Disability - Breaking the Taboo

02/27/20 • 63 min

Better in Bed | A Sex & Sexuality Podcast with Sarasense

Do people with disabilities have a right to be sexual? And what can they teach able-bodied people about intimacy and sexuality?

On this episode, Sara and co-host Kat talk to Carmen Yau, a registered social worker with a PhD from Hong Kong Polytechnic University and founder of erotica collection, “Sugar’s XXX Stories”.

Having been born with spinal muscular atrophy, Carmen is an iconic spokesperson for the sexual equality of people with disabilities and women. She is very vocal about breaking the taboo of people with disabilities often being considered asexual, as well as debunking other myths.

Armed with her own personal experiences living in a traditional Asian culture which focuses on “infantilising” people with disabilities as a form of protection, she shares how she was able to explore her sexuality, in spite of her physical limitations.

In particular, she talks about the creativity that people with disabilities use in terms of coming up with unique sex toys, sex positions, and even how their bodies can sometimes develop heightened senses that can lead to “abstract orgasms”

This episode will challenge your idea of what is considered “normal” in sex and sexuality. Listen in as Carmen shares an empowering message for everyone, whether disabled or able-bodied -about loving one’s body and valuing oneself. She believes that how you perceive yourself impacts how you conduct yourself with others, and how fruitful your life will be.

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Detailed show notes for this episode here.

P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

Do people with disabilities have a right to be sexual? And what can they teach able-bodied people about intimacy and sexuality?

On this episode, Sara and co-host Kat talk to Carmen Yau, a registered social worker with a PhD from Hong Kong Polytechnic University and founder of erotica collection, “Sugar’s XXX Stories”.

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How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz

Detailed show notes for this episode here.

P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

Previous Episode

25. Keeping the Spark & Making Love Last

How do we keep that initial passion for sex and intimacy alive for the long-haul?

Highly sought after sexual/marital psychotherapist and founder of The Academy of Lasting Love, Nikki Green shares some illuminating lessons with Sara and co-host Kat from over 20 years of experience primarily working with women in Hong Kong.

She believes that great sex can definitely survive over the long-haul however it’s a myth that it will just happen spontaneously and naturally. Sex is usually full of passion early on in the relationship, but the reality is that this addictive “dopamine high” gradually drops as time passes, and extra effort is required if a couple wants to maintain a healthy sex life.

Nikki emphasizes being deliberate around keeping that spark alive throughout your relationship, regardless of desire. In her view, relying on desire alone isn’t enough to keep a relationship consistently juicy as desire goes up or down at any time.

Instead, making sex in a relationship last is about a commitment to connection, adventure, intimacy and requires a whole different mindset. A big part of which includes scheduling and showing up fully. Listen in as Nikki lays out a roadmap to make this a reality in any relationship!

Download Nikki’s free Spice of Love mini-course – Conversations for Deeper and more Fulfilling Intimacy, which includes questions you can ask each other to immediately improve intimacy and erotic satisfaction.

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Detailed show notes for this episode here

P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

Next Episode

27. BDSM for Beginners

Is your perception of BDSM and kink informed by the infamous Fifty Shades of Gray?

Even though the Fifty Shades franchise does a lot to bring BDSM to the mainstream, it also get a lot of things wrong. Particularly one of BDSM’s key principles, negotiating consent.

Sara and co-host Kat sit down with Jannus of KinkBites — a veteran kinkster, community organizer, and Hong Kong dungeon manager — to lament the Fifty Shades effect, and the myths and misconceptions around BDSM that it perpetuates.

We talk about how the “church of kink” is full of variety (and not all about pain) and how kinky people come from all walks of life. Jannus’s shares his own personal introduction to kink – when his desire to learn how to do better drag resulted in a fateful encounter with Mistress Decima, Hong Kong’s “Godmother of Kink”.

Jannus provides recommendations to beginners and newbies who want to get started with BDSM. He sheds light on common BDSM terminology, what toys one can start with, dating as a kinky person and how to introduce a vanilla partner to your kinks. All in a fun, non-threatening, consensual manner.

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Detailed show notes for this episode here.

P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)