Why Men Don't Ask For Help... And Why We Should

12/27/19 • 35 min

Behind The Mask-ulinity

To join our community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Provate Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

Why is it so hard for us men to ask for help? Because "being a man" means being self-reliant, independent, a lone wolf and having all the answers to every question, and if you don't have the answers to every question, you do everything you can to find that answer and figure it out--on your own!

You do everything you can to figure it out EXCEPT taking someone else for advice, guidance or assistance in any way at all. That's what it means, according to our culture, to be a real man. A John Wayne, James Bond, Superman, Batman type of man. A man that doesn't get too caught up in is feelings but instead judges himself based on how much ass he can kick and how many bad guys he can defeat.

But, sometimes the toughest bad guy we can face is the bad guy staring back at us from the other side of the mirror.

When we really stop to think about it, even these epitomes of machoness had help. John Wayne had Doc, James Bond had Q, Superman had Lois Lane, and Batman had Robin. Whether a friend to talk to, words of encouragement, someone to share a softer side with, or someone to help defeat enemies, all these tough guys had help... and they weren't afraid to ask for it.

Join me as I discuss the importance of asking for help and how not doing so--and instead sticking to these outdated and damaging rules of masculinity and machismo--are causing us more harm than we may realize.

To join our community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Provate Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

But, sometimes the toughest bad guy we can face is the bad guy staring back at us from the other side of the mirror.

Previous Episode

Mental Health, Addiction & Physical Touch with Kevin Bergen, MFT

To join our community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

MENtal Health. It's a topic that has been on the rise lately, and for very good reason. For us men, it's normal to hit the gym and aim to get those chiseled pecs and washboard abs that we see all these Marvel superheroes have and that ladies love. We go to the gym and see dudes trying to benchpress a sedan, squat a minivan and curl a refrigerator.

But, how many men are willing to put that same effort, sweat, pain and sacrifice into their mental health as well? Not nearly as many.

Mental health, when it comes to men, carries with it a certain stigma. For men, going to a therapist or a coach or seeking any help at all for anything, is seen as a sign of weakness. When we're told from the time we come out of the womb that we have to man up and be tough and never be weak, we can see why so many of us struggle when it comes to opening up and reaching out a hand for help.

Join me as I sit down for a deep and highly crucial conversation with marriage and family therapist Kevin Bergen as we discuss the importance of caring for our mental health just as much as we care for our physical health, because it is that important!

We dive into addiction and how and why it forms in some of us and not in others, and what we can do to combat it. We talk about how important intimacy, affection and physical touch is, especially between men. (No, it doesn't make you gay to be intimate with another man)

Check out Kevin and all the great work he's doing on Instagram, on Linked In and at these websites GuyStuffCenter.com, BergenPhotography.com

Next Episode

Why Gay Men May Be MORE Masculine Than Straight Men with Harry Lopez

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

When we think of the ideal man, or when the archetypal man is pictured in movies or television, it's hardly, if ever, a gay man.

Why is that?

There are a ton of gay men who are brave, tough, can fight, are providers, protectors, the men of the house, can fix cars, are into sports and have a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his Mr. Olympia days.

For some reason, many people in our society view gay men as less than, as not enough, as flawed, as if there is something wrong with them and that they need to "pray the gay away" among other harmful and destructive things to make them a "real man".

What is a "real man" anyways?

Join me as I sit down with Harry Lopez and discuss how masculine norms and expectations of who a man should be not only negative impact straight, heterosexual men, but gay men as well, probably more so.

Harry is a personal and professional Success Coach, Consciousness Expert and entrepreneur. He writes and speak frequently on issues of personal an professional change, happiness, health and inspiration, mindful living and conscious business. He has coached and consulted leaders at Google, Amazon, Facebook and many other big companies.

But above all else, Harry is a very proud gay man.

Join us for this deep and intimate conversation.