Why Gay Men May Be MORE Masculine Than Straight Men with Harry Lopez

01/15/20 • 74 min

Behind The Mask-ulinity

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When we think of the ideal man, or when the archetypal man is pictured in movies or television, it's hardly, if ever, a gay man.

Why is that?

There are a ton of gay men who are brave, tough, can fight, are providers, protectors, the men of the house, can fix cars, are into sports and have a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his Mr. Olympia days.

For some reason, many people in our society view gay men as less than, as not enough, as flawed, as if there is something wrong with them and that they need to "pray the gay away" among other harmful and destructive things to make them a "real man".

What is a "real man" anyways?

Join me as I sit down with Harry Lopez and discuss how masculine norms and expectations of who a man should be not only negative impact straight, heterosexual men, but gay men as well, probably more so.

Harry is a personal and professional Success Coach, Consciousness Expert and entrepreneur. He writes and speak frequently on issues of personal an professional change, happiness, health and inspiration, mindful living and conscious business. He has coached and consulted leaders at Google, Amazon, Facebook and many other big companies.

But above all else, Harry is a very proud gay man.

Join us for this deep and intimate conversation.

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

When we think of the ideal man, or when the archetypal man is pictured in movies or television, it's hardly, if ever, a gay man.

Why is that?

What is a "real man" anyways?

But above all else, Harry is a very proud gay man.

Join us for this deep and intimate conversation.

Previous Episode

Why Men Don't Ask For Help... And Why We Should

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Why is it so hard for us men to ask for help? Because "being a man" means being self-reliant, independent, a lone wolf and having all the answers to every question, and if you don't have the answers to every question, you do everything you can to find that answer and figure it out--on your own!

You do everything you can to figure it out EXCEPT taking someone else for advice, guidance or assistance in any way at all. That's what it means, according to our culture, to be a real man. A John Wayne, James Bond, Superman, Batman type of man. A man that doesn't get too caught up in is feelings but instead judges himself based on how much ass he can kick and how many bad guys he can defeat.

But, sometimes the toughest bad guy we can face is the bad guy staring back at us from the other side of the mirror.

When we really stop to think about it, even these epitomes of machoness had help. John Wayne had Doc, James Bond had Q, Superman had Lois Lane, and Batman had Robin. Whether a friend to talk to, words of encouragement, someone to share a softer side with, or someone to help defeat enemies, all these tough guys had help... and they weren't afraid to ask for it.

Join me as I discuss the importance of asking for help and how not doing so--and instead sticking to these outdated and damaging rules of masculinity and machismo--are causing us more harm than we may realize.

Next Episode

Forget Six-Pack Abs, Emotional Intelligence Is The New Sexy with Victor Ung

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As men, we do many things to attempt to win the favor of an intimate partner, to build a strong friendship, to establish successful business partnerships and to just attract others to us in any way.

We work out to maintain our physique, we get trendy haircuts, we wear fashionable clothes, we drive sports cars, we flaunt our proverbial peacock feathers--all in an attempt to get people to notice us, to like us, to think highly of us, and to get them close to us in any way possible.

But... that's all outside stuff. That's all stuff--as much as we may say it represents our personal taste and individuality--that tries to paint a picture of who we are for others to see, but it only goes so deep. It's pretty shallow.

All this stuff screams "look at me" but we hardly ever stop to take the time to look at someone else, really look at them and really see them. We never let people see the real us, the true us, the us that needs that needs that sports car to make up for our lack of communication, the us that needs that perfect body because we are deeply insecure.

Join me as I have a deep conversation with Victor Ung on the rise and importance of emotional intelligence. We talk about why it's so important and how we can strengthen it to form deeper connections not only with others, but with ourselves.

In this day and age where women are becoming more empowered and more independent than ever, being a man with a chiseled body, large bank account and a garage full of sports cars isn't quite as enough as it used to be to attract those relationships into your life. We need to go deeper.