From Caveman, To Brave Man with Dr. John Schinnerer

09/19/19 • 68 min

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Yes, it is true, we evolved from apes and animals. Yes, it is true, we learned how to behave and think in certain ways in order to survive and thrive and make sure that our genetics carry on when we're gone.

But, it is also true that we are almost in the year 2020! We have evolved as a species and as a culture, but we haven't evolved as much as humans and as individual men. We no longer need to be on the lookout for the dangers that once plagued us. We no longer have a need for the irrational fears that plague us on a daily basis.

There are so many men out there--I used to be one--that feel they still need to solely be that tough, macho, protector, defender, hunter, fighter that we once all were expected and needed to be. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being all these things, but why can't we be more?

Why do we just have to be relegated to what someone decided men are supposed to think, speak and act like? Why can't we evolve just like all forms of life do over time? Why can't we dig deep into who we really are and bring that truth to the forefront instead of living a superficial life?

Join me as I have a conversation with Dr. John Schinnerer about how we can all dig a little deeper, be a little more honest, mindful and vulnerable, and be better men.

Dr. Schinnerer graduated from UC Berkeley with a PhD in educational psychology. His areas of expertise range from high performance, to stress and anger management, to positive psychology, to creating happy and thriving relationships. He wrote the award-winning book "How Can I Be Happy?" He was an expert consultant on the Academy Award-winning Pixar movie "Inside Out". He is the host of the Evolved Caveman podcast.

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Join me as I have a conversation with Dr. John Schinnerer about how we can all dig a little deeper, be a little more honest, mindful and vulnerable, and be better men.

Previous Episode

What's So Toxic About Masculinity?

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You hear the argument quite a bit these days:

"Masculinity is not toxic! What's so toxic about being a man?! We can't teach our little boys that being a man is wrong!"

I hear you, and I don't disagree with you. There is nothing wrong with being masculine or being a man, nothing at all. What's wrong about providing for your family? What's wrong with protecting your family? What's wrong with being tough, brave and figuring stuff out on your own without any help? Nothing. Could we come up with a better term? Probably.

I believe the interpretation of "toxic masculinity" is what is a bit skewed. Those who speak up about it aren't saying that masculinity as a whole is bad... at least I hope they're not. What they are arguing is that teaching our young boys that this is the ONLY way to be a real man is detrimental to their emotional health. By burdening them with these essentially unattainable expectations, we fill them with the sense that if they fall short of our expectations of what a man should be then they're not good enough to call themselves men.

Telling someone they're not good enough just the way they are can do nothing but harm.

Masculinity is not toxic, even females embody some masculine traits... and men embody some female traits. Surprise!

What is toxic is imposing our will and expectations on these young men and sticking them in these "man boxes" that hinder their true growth rather than promote it.

Next Episode

Does Failing Make You A "Failure"?

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Have you ever failed at anything in your life?

A job, a career, a relationship, a diet, an exercise routine, a test? Anything at all? Be honest...

If you have, congratulations! You're just like every human being alive and every human being in the history of the universe. We all fail eventually, whether it's a monumental failure like a failed business or trivial failure like waking up late for work.

But, you know what the silver lining of failure is? That you actually had the courage to give something a shot and take some responsibility for your life and your decisions.

You failed a business? At least you had the courage to try! You failed at a relationship? At least you had the courage to open yourself up to love and heartbreak. You failed at waking up on time for work? At least you're responsible enough to set your alarm to get to work on time and be a valuable employee. You failed at a diet? At least you had the self-awareness to realize that you needed to make a change.

Failure doesn't define us. So what does define us? How we respond to failure. How we bounce back, learn a lesson, take responsibility, grow and keep moving forward. That's what matters! Because everybody fails, but not everybody has the courage and resilience to keep pushing forward.

Listen in to find out how you can build your resilience against failure by learning to detach yourself from expectations and finding your true identity without the labels of your job, your relationships your possessions or anything else.