2W1C: The Nuckelavee Emerging from the Scottish Isles to Tell the Banshees to STFU

Explicit content warning

10/13/22 • 57 min

Are you into screaming, demon horse meat sacks? Well Gweniffer, you’re in luck! On the second edition of both Two Witches One CauldronTM and Dumb Bitches 101, Quill & Audrey educate each other on some more spooky lore. Love it.
Quill tackles the devil of the sea with a big ol' D, The Nuckelavee, while Audrey revisits the tired, screaming wenches from Ireland’s historic crevices, the Banshees.

Cameos include the Nuckelavee's glistening 6-pack, keening girlies getting PAID, and ad space Audrey’s banshee commercial.

If you have any inquiries about the informational integrity of this episode, please call 1-800-BANSHEE. If you don’t get that this is a joke, then you’re clearly not our target audience. Loser.
We had a lot of sources and about 89% of them were Wikipedia. We are not famous enough to cite our sources so if you have a problem with it, Florida, then leave that fucking review. xoxo

Cameos include the Nuckelavee's glistening 6-pack, keening girlies getting PAID, and ad space Audrey’s banshee commercial.

Previous Episode

2W1C: It’s Scary How Mid These Stories Are

Hi Diane, welcome to the first installment of Two Witches One CauldronTM, Bad Planning’s very own spooky series to celebrate the best month of the year: October.

In today’s episode, described by Audrey as “a slightly not-spooky start to Two Witches One Cauldron,” we bring you only the most scintillating accounts of spooky happenings on Reddit. The scariest thing about this episode was that we woke up at 5am to record it.

The cameos in this episode are actually fire so don’t miss out:

The underground world of the LickingTM Blackmarket
A thirsty stalker and his prey who actually answers her door buzzer when he rings her? Like wtf queen?
Inexcusable excuses for lobotomies resulting in fleshy lumps falling from noses...but also resulting in low key iconic relationship bonding moments
A movie recommendation worth pausing your hookup for. You’re going to have to listen to find out what the movie is because we can’t do all the work for you <3

In next week’s edition of #2W1CTM we’ll bring you round 2 of our Lore series. If you aren’t fake af, you’d know we covered Mares and Poltergeists last time.

See you for week two of 2W1C, spooky bears!

Next Episode

2W1C: An Unhelpful Plot Summary of It Follows

Hi Leilani, welcome to the penultimate episode of Two Witches One CaludronTM, where Quill and Audrey talk ourselves into liking the 2014 horror movie that is not like the other girls, It Follows.

In today’s episode, we do the bare minimum to explain the plot, so you’re gonna want to watch the movie beforehand. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about capricious horror movie farts which, according to Quill, are a totally overdone horror movie trope. Cut it out, bitch. Now that THAT’S out of the way let’s just get into the cameos, that’s all you’re here for anyway you thirsty whore:

Crystal’s (AKA Annie, but really Crystal) busted kneecap serving cunty death drop
Saying “I’m not going to hurt you” after chloroforming you and tying you to a chair
Implausible walking speed #howdiditgettothelakehouseinlike5mins
Taking a “what if it follows you” scenario too seriously #modestdominatrix
Penitentiary pools featuring Jay’s soggy cast #mildew #tetanus #toasterinthebath
Some bitch named Yara getting shot and literally NO ONE cares #probablybecauseshefarted

In conclusion, Paul could get it.