Imperfect Not Imposters

Men are hiding in one of two places, they are either hiding from success or hiding in success. Most men hide from success by just staying away from it and flying below radar. In this way their failures or perceived failures will never be seen. The other type of hider, are the men that hide in their success. These men though fewer in number have a far more elaborate way of hiding. They achieve more, accomplish more and collect more than their average male counterpart but still have the same problem. Despite being high achievers and even experts in their field these men can’t seem to get beyond the feeling that if they were really found out they would be considered imposters. They feel like frauds. They are highly capable males being plagued by nagging self- doubt.

The insecurities of achieving men are often reinforced in their close relationships. They experience this when their wives or children treat them with disrespect. Despite the external evidence of their competence, these successful men remain convinced that they do not deserve success. For these high achievers here are some suggestions:

5 Ways To Authentically Embrace Our Failures

1. Move beyond personal and relational failures recognizing them as just steps to personal and relational success.
2. Talk about shame openly. The more you talk about shame the less you have it.
3. Know yourself to be good and live that out.
4. Acknowledge your personal value above your performance. Describe yourself by your character traits not by your accomplishments.
5. Develop and use a trusted support group.

Men are finding their true value through AMG groups. Here they acknowledge that they may be imperfect but they don’t have to live as imposters. By acknowledging their personal shame but more importantly their personal value they are living with authentic success in life and relationship.