Trina Haynes on Women, ADHD, and Breaking the Burnout Cycle

04/17/25 • 54 min

Attention Different | Adulting with ADHD

Trina Haynes, founder of My Lady ADHD and co-host of the Brain Waves podcast, joins Stephen and Aaron to discuss her personal journey with burnout and ADHD. As someone who manages multiple businesses, a podcast, social media accounts, and homeschools one of her three daughters, Trina knows firsthand the challenges of balancing an entrepreneurial spirit with the realities of ADHD. In this vulnerable and insightful conversation, she shares how she discovered the concept of burnout and her ongoing strategies for prevention and recovery.

This episode dives deep into the unique challenges faced by late-diagnosed women with ADHD, exploring how societal expectations, people-pleasing tendencies, and perfectionism can lead to chronic burnout. Trina offers practical advice for recognizing burnout symptoms and implementing "bare minimum" self-care practices that can make a significant difference. The conversation highlights the importance of community, particularly for those who have spent years masking their ADHD traits.

You'll Learn:

How to recognize early warning signs of burnout specific to your own patterns and behaviors
Why creating a "bare minimum" version of your self-care practices can help prevent total abandonment during stressful times
How to identify and challenge the "all-or-nothing" thinking that often contributes to burnout cycles
Why having a community of neurodivergent peers can be transformative for late-diagnosed adults with ADHD
How to leverage your ADHD traits like empathy and creativity as strengths rather than viewing them as weaknesses
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and saying no, especially for natural people-pleasers
Ways to reconnect with childhood interests as a path to rediscovering joy and preventing burnout

Resources & Links:

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We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.
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You'll Learn:

How to recognize early warning signs of burnout specific to your own patterns and behaviors
Why creating a "bare minimum" version of your self-care practices can help prevent total abandonment during stressful times
How to identify and challenge the "all-or-nothing" thinking that often contributes to burnout cycles
Why having a community of neurodivergent peers can be transformative for late-diagnosed adults with ADHD
How to leverage your ADHD traits like empathy and creativity as strengths rather than viewing them as weaknesses
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and saying no, especially for natural people-pleasers
Ways to reconnect with childhood interests as a path to rediscovering joy and preventing burnout

Resources & Links:

Send us a text

Previous Episode

Why Rest Is Non-Negotiable

ADHD and sleep? It’s complicated. From racing thoughts at night to groggy mornings, getting quality rest can feel impossible. In this episode, we break down why sleep matters and how to make it work for you.
Join us as we dive into:
😴 Why ADHD brains struggle with sleep regulation
🧠 How sleep deprivation impacts focus, mood, and executive function
🌙 Practical strategies for building better sleep habits
⚖️ The link between sleep, medication, and overall ADHD management
If you’ve ever wondered, "Why I am always exhausted?", "Is my ADHD making my sleep worse?", or "How can I finally get a full night’s rest?"—this episode is for you.
📌 Listen now & share your experiences in the comments!

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Next Episode

ADHD Myth-busting: Strengths and NOT my thing | Attention Different Fireside Chats

In this powerful roundtable episode of Attention Different, host Stephen Tonti brings together eight ADHD adults from diverse backgrounds to share their experiences, challenge common misconceptions, and celebrate what makes their neurodivergent brains unique. From late diagnoses to childhood realizations, these candid conversations reveal the complex reality of living with ADHD and the journey toward self-acceptance. As Stephen puts it: "ADHD is not a disorder—we are a group of ADHD adults determined to address the ways in which our unique brain wiring makes our lives more complicated but also to celebrate the traits that make us some of the most creative and exciting members of any given generation."

You'll Learn:

ADHD is not just about "inability to focus"—many people with ADHD experience hyperfocus, but can't always choose what captures their attention
The presentation of ADHD symptoms varies widely between individuals and across gender lines, with "masculine" presentations being more visible/disruptive while "feminine" presentations often go undiagnosed
Many ADHD adults develop complex masking and coping mechanisms to fit into neurotypical systems, often at great personal cost
There's no correlation between ADHD and intelligence—the condition affects people across all IQ levels
Late-life diagnosis is common, especially among women, immigrants, and those from families that didn't recognize neurodivergence
The path to self-acceptance often involves reframing ADHD as an identity rather than a disorder
Many adults with ADHD wish they had been told earlier: "There's nothing wrong with you," "Weird is cool," and "You are worthy of help"

Resources:

Note: This episode features an authentic, unfiltered conversation about living with ADHD, including occasional strong language.

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