ADHD Myth-busting: Strengths and NOT my thing | Attention Different Fireside Chats

04/24/25 • 44 min

Attention Different | Adulting with ADHD

In this powerful roundtable episode of Attention Different, host Stephen Tonti brings together eight ADHD adults from diverse backgrounds to share their experiences, challenge common misconceptions, and celebrate what makes their neurodivergent brains unique. From late diagnoses to childhood realizations, these candid conversations reveal the complex reality of living with ADHD and the journey toward self-acceptance. As Stephen puts it: "ADHD is not a disorder—we are a group of ADHD adults determined to address the ways in which our unique brain wiring makes our lives more complicated but also to celebrate the traits that make us some of the most creative and exciting members of any given generation."

You'll Learn:

ADHD is not just about "inability to focus"—many people with ADHD experience hyperfocus, but can't always choose what captures their attention
The presentation of ADHD symptoms varies widely between individuals and across gender lines, with "masculine" presentations being more visible/disruptive while "feminine" presentations often go undiagnosed
Many ADHD adults develop complex masking and coping mechanisms to fit into neurotypical systems, often at great personal cost
There's no correlation between ADHD and intelligence—the condition affects people across all IQ levels
Late-life diagnosis is common, especially among women, immigrants, and those from families that didn't recognize neurodivergence
The path to self-acceptance often involves reframing ADHD as an identity rather than a disorder
Many adults with ADHD wish they had been told earlier: "There's nothing wrong with you," "Weird is cool," and "You are worthy of help"

Resources:

Note: This episode features an authentic, unfiltered conversation about living with ADHD, including occasional strong language.

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We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.
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You'll Learn:

ADHD is not just about "inability to focus"—many people with ADHD experience hyperfocus, but can't always choose what captures their attention
The presentation of ADHD symptoms varies widely between individuals and across gender lines, with "masculine" presentations being more visible/disruptive while "feminine" presentations often go undiagnosed
Many ADHD adults develop complex masking and coping mechanisms to fit into neurotypical systems, often at great personal cost
There's no correlation between ADHD and intelligence—the condition affects people across all IQ levels
Late-life diagnosis is common, especially among women, immigrants, and those from families that didn't recognize neurodivergence
The path to self-acceptance often involves reframing ADHD as an identity rather than a disorder
Many adults with ADHD wish they had been told earlier: "There's nothing wrong with you," "Weird is cool," and "You are worthy of help"

Resources:

Note: This episode features an authentic, unfiltered conversation about living with ADHD, including occasional strong language.

Send us a text

Previous Episode

Trina Haynes on Women, ADHD, and Breaking the Burnout Cycle

Trina Haynes, founder of My Lady ADHD and co-host of the Brain Waves podcast, joins Stephen and Aaron to discuss her personal journey with burnout and ADHD. As someone who manages multiple businesses, a podcast, social media accounts, and homeschools one of her three daughters, Trina knows firsthand the challenges of balancing an entrepreneurial spirit with the realities of ADHD. In this vulnerable and insightful conversation, she shares how she discovered the concept of burnout and her ongoing strategies for prevention and recovery.

This episode dives deep into the unique challenges faced by late-diagnosed women with ADHD, exploring how societal expectations, people-pleasing tendencies, and perfectionism can lead to chronic burnout. Trina offers practical advice for recognizing burnout symptoms and implementing "bare minimum" self-care practices that can make a significant difference. The conversation highlights the importance of community, particularly for those who have spent years masking their ADHD traits.

You'll Learn:

How to recognize early warning signs of burnout specific to your own patterns and behaviors
Why creating a "bare minimum" version of your self-care practices can help prevent total abandonment during stressful times
How to identify and challenge the "all-or-nothing" thinking that often contributes to burnout cycles
Why having a community of neurodivergent peers can be transformative for late-diagnosed adults with ADHD
How to leverage your ADHD traits like empathy and creativity as strengths rather than viewing them as weaknesses
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and saying no, especially for natural people-pleasers
Ways to reconnect with childhood interests as a path to rediscovering joy and preventing burnout

Resources & Links:

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Next Episode

From Shame to Radical Acceptance with Ryan Mayer

ADHD and self-worth? It’s messy—and deeply personal. From repeated workplace struggles to a constant feeling of falling short, living with ADHD can often make us question our value and capabilities. The world isn’t designed for neurodivergent thinkers, and when you're forced to play by rules that don’t work for your brain, it’s easy to internalize the blame. But what if the issue isn’t you—it’s the system that was never built with your wiring in mind?
In this powerful and validating episode, we sit down with Ryan Mayer, a Certified ADHD Coach and Neuro-Inclusion Consultant, who shares his hard-earned wisdom about embracing your differences instead of masking them. Through honest storytelling and practical insights, Ryan shows us what it means to stop chasing “normal” and start creating a life that actually fits who you are.
Join us as we explore:
🧠 How neurodivergent adults can redefine success after career "failures"
🔥 The role of radical acceptance in living with ADHD
🙌 Why delegating energy-draining tasks is a form of self-respect
👥 How body doubling can supercharge focus and productivity
💬 The importance of dropping the word “should” from your vocabulary
If you’ve ever felt like ADHD is something to hide, fix, or be ashamed of, this episode will reframe everything. Ryan’s story is full of insight, validation, and real tools for thriving.
📌 Listen now & share your experiences in the comments!
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