53 | The Safety Shift: Trusting Yourself in Times of Transformation

02/12/25 • 37 min

Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!

In today's fast-paced world, the pressure to conform to a certain image of success can be overwhelming. Many of us are familiar with the archetype of the "4am CEO," a figure that embodies relentless ambition and productivity. But what happens when this pursuit of success starts to overshadow our true selves?

In this week's episode, Monique dives into the journey of identity evolution and the fears that accompany significant life changes. Building on her previous discussions about identity leaps, she reflects on the critical moments when we find ourselves on the brink of transformation, yet held back by fears surrounding safety and acceptance.

Join in as Monique guides us through the transformative process of letting go, embracing new identities, and ultimately finding peace in the pursuit of our authentic self.

📢As a special note, Monique is opening her coaching waitlist for February 2025. You can sign up through her website to receive updates and secure a spot for transformative one-on-one coaching.

MENTIONED

52 | Making The Scary Identity Leap

GEMS DROPPED

“We have identity needs. Safety at the identity level is very different than safety at the practical, tangible level. Safety, in terms of our heart’s needs, it operates very differently. And I think these are driving forces that are deeper and can be far stronger if we turn our attention to them and actually start to get real with what is trying to stretch and come from us.”

“I'm tired of money being this primary driver. I'm beyond that. I know I'm in a system that requires money to sustain us, but I don't want that to be the thing that is driving all of my decisions anymore. I want to do the things that have been deemed frivolous. I want to spend more time in my garden. I want to spend more time cooking. I want to experience a season that lets that version of myself come to be. I want to get to know this version of myself where money is no longer the core driver. Like, what a privilege that would be. How incredible would that be? It's a shame that that's a privilege. It shouldn't be a privilege.”

“If you change, the world around you changes which means the relationships around you have to change. They can embrace it, you can figure out how to move forward together, you might have a rough patch or a season, but there's also the risk that that relationship is now lost or some of the core fundamentals that kept you connected before, are null and void at this point.”

“If I'm evolving into a whole new world, there’s a version of myself where I'm not going to be your savior anymore because I'm relaxing into my own needs. I'm leaning into my own creative expression and like minded, equally yoked community, partnership, friendship...the version of me that was required to uphold the nature of our past relationship, she's not going to be here. That undercurrent is a huge part of what will hold us back from evolving into the next version or the next stage of identity that is calling. I cannot overstate how deep that runs, how real that is for us.”

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@

Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!

Join in as Monique guides us through the transformative process of letting go, embracing new identities, and ultimately finding peace in the pursuit of our authentic self.

📢As a special note, Monique is opening her coaching waitlist for February 2025. You can sign up through her website to receive updates and secure a spot for transformative one-on-one coaching.

MENTIONED

52 | Making The Scary Identity Leap

GEMS DROPPED

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@

Previous Episode

52 | Making The Scary Identity Leap

Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!

Are you standing at the edge of a new chapter, feeling the pull of transformation, yet held back by invisible barriers?

Join Monique as she uncovers the secrets to navigating identity shifts and breaking free from the self-doubt that keeps us stuck. Explore the thought-provoking questions that often paralyze progress, like 'Am I truly capable?' and 'Is this the right moment?' Through fresh insights and actionable strategies, Monique helps you reframe those doubts into empowering questions that inspire clarity, courage, and momentum on your journey of becoming.

📢As a special note, Monique is opening her coaching waitlist for February 2025. You can sign up through her website to receive updates and secure a spot for transformative one-on-one coaching.

GEMS DROPPED
"You're it. You're the one we've been waiting on to usher forward this next thing that has been placed on your heart, in your mind and your imagination to create in the world. Who is going to come through and tell you you're ready, tell you you're the right person for the job? No one. No one is going to come through and affirm that for you.”

“Am I the right person? Any version of this question is an absolute trap, and we have to let the question go. It's not about how do I get to that answer. It's the question in and of itself that is not useful.”

“If we can equip ourselves to move through this blockade phase or protective barriers phase, and we can slide that barrier to the left. Slide the ’am I’ person question barrier to the right and then get into, ‘well, what is the identity that I am sitting in today that is no longer serving me, that is keeping me stuck on the road, that is keeping me boxed in with these barriers?’ This is when we start getting into more useful questions.”

“However you believe timing takes place, whatever right timing means for you, that's what it will be. No one else can tell you if it's the right time to pursue the thing that you need to pursue now. I think a better question is, ‘am I willing to make the sacrifices or to make the investments that are required right now in order for me to step into this new version of myself?’ ”

“We've got to get more precise. We've got to get more practical. We've got to get more tangible and real. These questions have to be useful to actually help us arrive at what we're trying to arrive at. We need questions that force decision making.”

“If it's yours, you can do it. You can set the timeline. You can set the look and the feel- the vibe and the pace. You get to set it. Just give yourself permission to stop asking questions that limit you, that keep you stuck and that keep you spinning around an old identity that's trying to hold on to you and keep you safe. And free yourself with questions that actually move you forward, that spark creativity, that spark your inner problem solver, that give you something to grab onto so that you can grab onto the next thing and the next thing and start that journey forward.”

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].

Next Episode

54 | The Giver, The Grinder & The Pleaser: Rethinking Success

Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!

Is the pursuit of success weighing you down? In this episode, Monique uncovers how ambition can sometimes come at the cost of our deepest dreams.

Listen in as she shares compelling stories of women balancing leadership, motherhood, and personal fulfillment. Through the lens of the 'Giver,' the 'Grinder,' and the 'Pleaser,' she reveals how these identities shape our paths—both fueling and restricting us.

Tune in to learn how to break free from outdated roles, redefine success on your terms, and step into a future of authentic fulfillment.

📢As a special note, Monique is opening her coaching waitlist for March 2025. You can sign up through her website to receive updates and secure a spot for transformative one-on-one coaching.

MENTIONED

53 | The Safety Shift: Trusting Yourself in Times of Transformation

52 | Making The Scary Identity Leap

26 | When Achievement Is No Longer The Goal

15 | Learning To Dream First (CEO Series)

GEMS DROPPED

"Everything that you are doing could be mission oriented. Everything that you are doing could be impact driven. And then the thing that is not getting done is the thing that you desire most deeply. So the thing that you wanted most is the thing that is also being put at risk."

"When you're in a perpetual state of grind over years and years and years and years, your whole identity begins to form around that. And it's really, really challenging to see how it's possible to set that down and to still succeed. How to be any other way even when you know what is at stake."

"We think that just because this is the version or form of winning that I've ever, always known that that is what winning is. That is what that looks like for me. That is what's possible for me. With the strengths that I have, with the weaknesses that I have, with the perspective that I have, the background that I have, that is how I must win. But, no, that is just how you happen to have won for this period of time. Winning can look different."

“The ways that we need to be must evolve if we want our successes to evolve, if we want to elevate ourselves. We constantly talk about elevating our voices and elevating, expanding our impact, those things don't elevate and expand, not truly, unless we do.”

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].

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