07 | Being "Worthy" Of The Pivot
05/10/23 • 40 min
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
Today I am taking away our excuses. If you are tuned into this episode, you are attracted to the notion of self-directed ambition. There is something calling to you that is bigger than what you are doing now. But these changes we want to make in our careers and businesses are pivots that trigger our worthy button.
No matter how much anyone tells you that you’re worthy of success, you will not truly embody that feeling until you persuade yourself of your own worthiness. To grow, expand, and attain that next level of excellence, we need to engage in the art of self-persuasion. No one else can help make these pivots. It is on us to shift our mindset and learn how to build the skill of working with ourselves and reflecting internally to believe in our worthiness.
In this episode, I break down the obstacles and challenges that hold high-achievers back from making a necessary pivot. It’s less about doing and more about being. There is no way to know how a scenario will work out so believe in the story that is going to lift you up. When you move with the confidence of you who are and what you stand for, it’s magnetic. You are powerful. You are worthy. You can make that pivot.
GEMS DROPPED
“Setting yourself up for success is either code for, “I want to make sure that I make a move that protects me from failure” or “how do I make sure I'm set up for it is what will finally make me worthy of the success?” So one is about, I want to make sure that I have collected all of the Girl Scout badges, and the other is about I've put on enough armor to protect myself. Both of those buckets are a way of thinking that has been handed down to us through traditional career building in corporate structures and neither of those models is going to get you to your intrinsic vision”
“The social contracts that you make with people, they do exist. When we build up different brands, or even just professional reputations in people's minds, they exist, ...people need to be able to hold you in their imaginations as something, we need to make sense of each other. But those brands, those reputations are not built on the specific configuration of what you do and how you do it in the world. They're not built upon the specific titles that you carry, the specific strengths and skills that you have, and how those things specifically come together. That's not actually the bedrock, they're a part of it, for sure, but the bedrock of those social contracts, and the way that people are carrying us in their minds... is trust”.
“People are not thinking about us as much as we think they are. we're caught up in our own stuff y'all, like the same way that you're just trying to stay on top of all the basic necessities of your life in all the big questions of your life. That's what everybody else is doing, too.”
“...things that you think you need to have... all of the shiny objects that you need to collect... all of the people, all of the authorities that need to approve of you before you can make this step, you don't have to be set up in that way for success. The way that we set ourselves up for these pivots. The ways that we prepare ourselves to make these kinds of pivots is by going internal into making some decisions and making some shifts around how we are relating to ourselves, which then carry out to how we move. When we move with that kind of energy, you become magnetic...’
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
Today I am taking away our excuses. If you are tuned into this episode, you are attracted to the notion of self-directed ambition. There is something calling to you that is bigger than what you are doing now. But these changes we want to make in our careers and businesses are pivots that trigger our worthy button.
No matter how much anyone tells you that you’re worthy of success, you will not truly embody that feeling until you persuade yourself of your own worthiness. To grow, expand, and attain that next level of excellence, we need to engage in the art of self-persuasion. No one else can help make these pivots. It is on us to shift our mindset and learn how to build the skill of working with ourselves and reflecting internally to believe in our worthiness.
In this episode, I break down the obstacles and challenges that hold high-achievers back from making a necessary pivot. It’s less about doing and more about being. There is no way to know how a scenario will work out so believe in the story that is going to lift you up. When you move with the confidence of you who are and what you stand for, it’s magnetic. You are powerful. You are worthy. You can make that pivot.
GEMS DROPPED
“Setting yourself up for success is either code for, “I want to make sure that I make a move that protects me from failure” or “how do I make sure I'm set up for it is what will finally make me worthy of the success?” So one is about, I want to make sure that I have collected all of the Girl Scout badges, and the other is about I've put on enough armor to protect myself. Both of those buckets are a way of thinking that has been handed down to us through traditional career building in corporate structures and neither of those models is going to get you to your intrinsic vision”
“The social contracts that you make with people, they do exist. When we build up different brands, or even just professional reputations in people's minds, they exist, ...people need to be able to hold you in their imaginations as something, we need to make sense of each other. But those brands, those reputations are not built on the specific configuration of what you do and how you do it in the world. They're not built upon the specific titles that you carry, the specific strengths and skills that you have, and how those things specifically come together. That's not actually the bedrock, they're a part of it, for sure, but the bedrock of those social contracts, and the way that people are carrying us in their minds... is trust”.
“People are not thinking about us as much as we think they are. we're caught up in our own stuff y'all, like the same way that you're just trying to stay on top of all the basic necessities of your life in all the big questions of your life. That's what everybody else is doing, too.”
“...things that you think you need to have... all of the shiny objects that you need to collect... all of the people, all of the authorities that need to approve of you before you can make this step, you don't have to be set up in that way for success. The way that we set ourselves up for these pivots. The ways that we prepare ourselves to make these kinds of pivots is by going internal into making some decisions and making some shifts around how we are relating to ourselves, which then carry out to how we move. When we move with that kind of energy, you become magnetic...’
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Previous Episode
06 | On Trying To Save Everyone
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
This episode is about reframing generosity. As high achievers, the temptation to help everyone looking for mentorship is strong. Many of us get trapped in this version of generosity that has us spread thin, trying to do the best we can for everyone. All of these mentorships take up time and energy that could have been spent on our core vision - the passion that has propelled us to the top of our fields.
I know how tempting it is to say yes to everyone asking for help. But if we want to continue growing and expanding, we must shift our mindset on giving.
Generosity is not about how much you give. Generosity is about how well you give. Ask yourself: “What’s at risk for me if I give to this person and what’s at risk for them if I say yes?” It’s not always about filling in the gaps with little ways that you can help people here and there and spreading yourself thin. It’s about keeping your eye on the prize and putting energy in places that drive your mission and goals.
GEMS DROPPED
“...because of the structural barriers, there's no one above us. And so we feel once we get to these levels, it's like, well, I didn't have anyone to look up to. I'm now the person I wish I had been back then. So I owe it to this young, bright mind ...to take the phone call to say you know what, go ahead and send me your resume. Yeah, you know, go ahead and send me your portfolio. You know what, I'll find some time in my calendar, reach out to my assistant, you're just saying yes to everybody. And look, I want you all to understand, sometimes you're gonna say, Yes but it has to be filtered through a set of criteria that you have determined for yourself that it incorporates, and really, I think, at its foundation is about protecting who you are most meant to be showing up in the world”.
“...we got to stop trying to save everyone, and losing ourselves in the process and losing our big pictures in the process. It's not a strike against you to have boundaries in this way...we mistake generosity for spreading ourselves out. And that generosity actually has nothing to do with giving a lot. It's not about the amount of giving that you do but about the number of people that you give to and how much you give them. Generosity is about quality. Generosity is about how well you give. Generosity is not about how much you give, it is about how well you give. And what happens is we get into this practice of giving ourselves away”.
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Next Episode
08 | What Rooms Deserve You
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
Today’s conversation is about deserving and the spaces we deserve to be in.
This topic has me fired up because as women, until we begin to move through the world with a filter, a level of standards that defines a mutually beneficial criteria to our personal and business relationships, we are going to continue to end up in situations that we don’t deserve.
I share my experiences where this set of criteria for my time and energy has served me. Don’t put yourself in a situation where there is scarcity of magic. Where you are making decisions from a place of big risk because you're moving through your business out of desperation.
So if you have asked yourself “Why have I lost track of where my footing is? Who am I?” I hope this episode reaches you and sparks a shift in how you think about who and what deserves your energy.
MENTIONED
05 | Why We MUST Stop Isolating Ourselves - How To Connect Deeply With Other Women
GEMS DROPPED
“I want us to flip this entire framing on its head because it is getting us in trouble. And when I say us, I am talking about the black and brown women of us. Okay, so today's conversation about deserving is about first and foremost, understanding that we have to flip the way that we are holding deserving in our minds. What rooms, what tables, what spaces, what relationships want connections, what people ...deserve us. Because until we begin to move through the world, with this filter on with this set of criteria with this level of standard, we're going to keep winding up in situations where we should never be, we're going to keep winding up in situations that take more from us than they could possibly ever give”.
“...we are accepting misaligned things, misaligned work, misaligned opportunities and projects, we are hiring this way...we are getting into relationships this way... we're going into places where our time and our talents have nothing to do with our actual time and our actual talents”.
“...many of us are being purely motivated by this notion that we just need to be everywhere. Being everywhere is not a sign of competence. It's not a sign of strong character... just being places, doesn't really add up to or amount to much in terms of your market value, your perceived market value...”
“...having that clarity of priority around what you have and how things line up and what you know, what actually makes sense for you, before deciding that you need to be somewhere or be a part of some conversation or be seen someplace is critically important”.
“...don't ever be so desperate for opportunity that you don't assess for its worthiness of you...”
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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