Alonement

As far as being 'alone' goes, my guest Erling Kagge has experienced the extreme end of the spectrum. The first man to ever complete the Three Poles challenge (that's Mount Everest, the North Pole and the South Pole) on foot, Erling once spent 50 days alone, without radio contact, during his solo South Pole expedition in 1992 – a feat which saw him featured on the cover of Time magazine the following year. While it's impossible not to be awed by Erling's achievements, this podcast has always – at its core – celebrated those more moderate, everyday form of aloneness accessible to us all. Which is why the next part of this famous Polar explorer's career is so fascinating: he went on to write books with beautifully-simple, inclusive titles, Walking: One Step At A Time and Silence: In The Age Of Noise, which offer a guide, based on Erling's unique vantage point, of how we can access the stillness and solitude inside our own minds through simple everyday practices. 'After having travelled to hundreds of countries,' he tells me, 'My interpretation is the universe in your own mind – your body, your soul – is just as mysterious and huge as the universe stretching out to the stars and the planets'.

We discuss, among other things:

• Why Erling found living in London lonelier than 50 days & nights alone in the South Pole
• How being a Polar explorer can affect your relationships
• The relationship between time alone and fulfilling your life's potential
• How being close to nature helps you to be present

You can order Erling Kagge's book, Silence In The Age Of Noise, now from Amazon and Waterstones.

You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones.

Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.

Twitter:

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@ChezSpecter

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@ChezSpecter

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Contact: [email protected]

With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement.

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Emma John is an award winning journalist and author. Her most recent book, Self-Contained, is a memoir which chronicles what it’s like to enter your 40s without having been in a serious long-term relationship. It’s a book that celebrates the fullness of single life – the highs and lows.

Our conversation is an unapologetic, unflinching look at the single experience, with a particular emphasis on how hobbies, interests and platonic relationships, as long as shorter-term romantic ones, can become centre stage – filling the space a relationship might otherwise.

We also discuss:

• What it means to be ‘self-contained’
• The difficulty of trying to write a narrative as a single woman (Who hasn’t met someone at the end/without a happy ending) - What is my narrative arc- without the happy ending?
• The one constant in your life is you
• The myth that it’s only OK to be single if you’re living a hedonistic, free lifestyle
• Why solo travel isn’t really solitary – especially if you’re in South Carolina
• Why following your passion can be a brilliant reason for doing things alone
• Why your life starts right now – not when you meet your ‘Other Half’

Emma John’s book, Self Contained, is available to buy now.

My book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, is also out now from Amazon, Waterstones and all good bookshops.

Social links:

Twitter:

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@ChezSpecter

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@em_john

Instagram:

@alonementofficial

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@ChezSpecter

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@emmajohnauthor

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Contact: [email protected]

With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, my worker bees! So let's face it, the perfect office probably doesn't exist – but if it did, it would be the brainchild of Alex Soojung Kim Pang, PHD, a Silicon Valley consultant and a futurist who has spent the last two decades researching the nature of people, work and technology. Alex totally transformed how I think about the 'work-life balance' – we spoke about the need to instead create a sense of 'harmony' in your working day, instead (which also takes into account how much solo/social time you need as an individual). He proved a fascinating guest – we chatted about:

• Getting the right balance of social interaction and focussed solitude at work
• The relationship between 'rest' and being alone
• How to find a greater degree of purpose and 'flow' in our working days
• The need to create a distraction-free office environment post-pandemic
• Whether the terms ‘introvert’ and ‘extrovert’ are useful – or not
• Why we need to bring back the communal office lunchtime

& more!

Happy listening.

Alex Soojung-Kim Pang’s book, Rest, is available to buy now.

My book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, is also out now from Amazon, Waterstones and all good bookshops.

Social links:

Twitter:

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@ChezSpecter

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@askpang

Instagram:

@alonementofficial

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@ChezSpecter

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@askpang

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Contact: [email protected]

With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'That's the root of perfectionism: that chronic deficit thinking, the belief that we're not good enough. That we're not attractive enough, smart enough, fit enough, whatever it might be. In order to compensate for those feelings, we project on to the world a perfect persona that we feel like everybody wants to see – that we should be, essentially. And it's exhausting if you have to keep that up in every single interaction.'

Welcome back to another season of Alonement. My first guest on this season is Dr Thomas Curran, a world leading expert on perfectionism and the author of The Perfection Trap: The Power Of Good Enough In A World That Always Wants More. Endorsed by the likes of Adam Grant and, more recently, Gwyneth Paltrow, The Perfection Trap is the culmination of years of academic research, interwoven with other expert voices, and as well as being rooted in academia it’s also chatty, engaging and honest, which was not something I expected from an academic text. In this conversation, we chat about the relationship between alone time and perfectionism. This includes how solitude can sometimes be used as a space to recover from perfectionism, for practising a hobby that you’re not, technically, very good at – purely for the joy of it. But also the danger of bringing your own perfectionist tendencies along, like trying to get a PB every time you go for a solo run. We also touch on the potential loneliness of relocating you have to do as an academic professor – or any lifestyle, like digital nomadism, that involves rootlessness and moving around a lot. Finally, we discuss how time outside – specifically cycling in nature – is Thom’s favourite kind of alonement, and how sometimes finding joy in solitude can come to our rescue in our lowest moments.

Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device (you can also use the code ALONEMENT at checkout).

With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Iona Bain is a personal finance expert who appears regularly on BBC Morning Live and writes a weekly column for the i Paper. She’s written two books, her second is Own It – a millennial guide to investing. On a personal level, she’s also recently made the big step of buying her first flat as a solo buyer – a process she described to me in an email as a ‘learning curve’. In this episode, we discuss questions around solo finance – including the cost of living alone and the dreaded ‘single’ supplement’ – which, as many of you will know, is the additional cost often associated with doing things solo, from getting a hotel room to buying food in the supermarket. So many of you had specific questions you wanted me to ask Iona, so in the second half of this episode I’ll be bringing out some crowd-sourced audience questions.

We discuss, among other things:

• How Iona went from a musician who stored cash from gigs in a piggy bank, to a leading money expert.
• Iona's journey to buying her own place alone (and why she's transparent about having had help)
• Why our relationship with money is about more than just numbers – there's emotion involved, too
• The Single Supplement and how to navigate it
• How learning to spend time alone can help us not only save, but also spend on what matters to us

You can order Iona Bain's latest book, Own It, now from Bookshop.org.

You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.

Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.

Twitter:

@ChezSpecter

@IonaYoungMoney

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Instagram:

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@ChezSpecter

@IonaBain

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Contact: [email protected]

With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.