Resolutions revisited

08/25/19 • 11 min

Hi. How are those New Year’s Resolutions doing?

(pause for gasps, pregnant silence and bad looks)

You made some right? Because you didn’t really listen to me when I said resolutions were a bad idea – that’s understandable because I’m just a disembodied voice and that’s not enough status to prevent you from making yourself feel better.

So since you made them, how are they doing?

“It’s August!” you yell. To which I reply that you’re going to make your 2020 resolutions in five months...

OK, deep breath. If you made resolutions in 2018 for 2019, and didn’t keep them, then one of four things has happened:

You’ve either abandoned them because that’s a painful, annoying dead end
You had a modicum of success but just slowed then stopped
You decided it was just a happy drunken promise without regard for the reality of what it would take to accomplish it
You decide that you just aren’t capable, and, oh well, that’s life.

Ok then. That’s everyone! Have a good night. (cue bumper music)

You’re still here? And not happy with me? So now what?

Let’s do one of two things:

Get them done
Decide that they were a bad idea

That’s it. Keep in mind that you have me at a disadvantage – I can’t use all my powerful tools I built from scratch, examine what’s really going on in your life, and work with you one-on-one. So It’s just a read/listen kind of thing but I’ll do my best. So let’s revisit with solutions:

You’ve either abandoned them because that’s a painful, annoying dead end

You may have dodged a bullet. This may have been a goal you just arbitrarily set because, hey, why not? Like saying “I’m going to visit the moons of Titan” or “Sure I’ll help you move next year.” If so then just leave it. If this was something you really wanted to do then you hit a wall, and that wall is probably made of Time, Energy and/or Resources.

You had a modicum of success but just slowed then stopped

Similar to above, it may simply be that you didn’t make the time for it (going to the gym, working on that hobby, etc) and the rest of your schedule said F.U. and it got pushed out. Making the proper time for it can fix that.

You decided it was just a happy drunken promise without regard for the reality of what it would take to accomplish it

All humor is based on some sort of truth or it’s not funny. The same goes for drunken promises – there was a reason you said that, when your inhibitions were diminished. Is this a secret desire? Don’t you beat yourself up over it.

You decide that you just aren’t capable, and, oh well, that’s life.

Well, you may not be – see “visiting moons of Titan” above. Or perhaps you are capable and you are being fooled by that thing called reality. Meaning, you need to adjust reality to fit this desire. That reality comes in the form of your time, energy and resources.

Do you see a theme with all of this? You should. It’s those three magic words and they are not “I love you” though I like you an awful lot. Honest.

Time, Energy and Resources – how you adjust them, how you use them, how you let them rule over you.

The post Resolutions revisited first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Hi. How are those New Year’s Resolutions doing?

(pause for gasps, pregnant silence and bad looks)

So since you made them, how are they doing?

“It’s August!” you yell. To which I reply that you’re going to make your 2020 resolutions in five months...

OK, deep breath. If you made resolutions in 2018 for 2019, and didn’t keep them, then one of four things has happened:

You’ve either abandoned them because that’s a painful, annoying dead end
You had a modicum of success but just slowed then stopped
You decided it was just a happy drunken promise without regard for the reality of what it would take to accomplish it
You decide that you just aren’t capable, and, oh well, that’s life.

Ok then. That’s everyone! Have a good night. (cue bumper music)

You’re still here? And not happy with me? So now what?

Let’s do one of two things:

Get them done
Decide that they were a bad idea

You’ve either abandoned them because that’s a painful, annoying dead end

You had a modicum of success but just slowed then stopped

You decided it was just a happy drunken promise without regard for the reality of what it would take to accomplish it

You decide that you just aren’t capable, and, oh well, that’s life.

Do you see a theme with all of this? You should. It’s those three magic words and they are not “I love you” though I like you an awful lot. Honest.

Time, Energy and Resources – how you adjust them, how you use them, how you let them rule over you.

The post Resolutions revisited first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Previous Episode

What do you want from me?!

You’ve heard and seen and read motivational speakers, motivational people, thought leaders, influencers, etc. etc. etc. You hear that you should live with passion and that you should reach for the stars and that you should do that thing and that you should go for it right? If you’re lucky they leave you feeling energized and excited about that next step. But then you hear them again or you hear another speaker or you see another motivational post and it’s the same thing.

So now you’re all excited and ready, but ready for what? That next step? That next thing? To live with passion and no regrets? “But what is that?” you think, as you continue to clothe yourself, to feed you and your family, to go to work and earn money... “What is that?”

“What do you want from me?!” you say as their pleas for your excitement and your pushing forward in life start to annoy you. “You keep telling me to press on and be the best I can be and so forth”.

Then you see them again and again and now you see the pattern. You’re supposed to do it – they want you to do it. And finally you yell at the TV or the radio or the podcast or YouTube video or the book...

“What do you want from me?!”

The problem is they’re not in a position to want what you want. They don’t know what they want from you other than to succeed and be successful and perhaps do it in a way that is profitable to them. They can’t answer your question but they can continue to hammer you again and again and again.

See, there comes a time in which you realize all the motivation in the world doesn’t do anything if you don’t know what you want. Want is desire and desire has been demonized. You just want to be happy but what makes you happy? You want to be successful but what is success to you? You just want to be in a better place but where is that place exactly?

Before the first leaf falls, before you hunker down and batten the hatches for winter. Before the weather turns to “back to school weather“ and something deep inside you says I better get serious...

Figure out what it is you want.

There’s a sheet online right now that you can fill out. It’s only got five columns. It’s not an in-depth evaluation. It doesn’t even have any questions, just five columns. Fill out the sheet and you’ll already be a lot clearer on what it is you want. Send this to me and have a phone call with me and you’ll be even closer.

The post What do you want from me?! first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Next Episode

Five causes of indecision – and how to overcome them

I took an early walk, and thought about my day. Being a fairly decisive person I wondered why I was having so much trouble deciding if I was going to hang out by the lake and write something?

It seemed like a simple decision – either I am going to do it or not? Is there something more pressing – something more important that I needed to do instead?

That’s it, right? Yet I went back and forth on it as I walked. Neither decision felt “right.” One of them has to be right, or at least one of them has to “more right.” Right?

The problem wasn’t that one of the options didn’t feel more correct, it was something else. Perhaps the root of indecision for that moment, and maybe for moments in your life, was the something else...

If you’re experiencing indecision on something its probably caused by one of five things:

Not enough information.
Two (or more) items are in conflict.
Two or more items are of equal value to you. Time, energy and resources assessment fixes that
Not being honest with yourself – you feel obligated to do one, but really want to do the other
Good/better best

PS – This podcast was also produced as a youtube video. Check it out on the Alchemy for Life youtube channel.

The post Five causes of indecision – and how to overcome them first appeared on Alchemy For Life.