Adoptees Crossing Lines
Zaira
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1 Creator
In this podcast I deconstruct the romanticism holding up the family policing industry and expose the lies, abuse, and pain that gets silenced. I'm here to unwrap the shiny bow around adoption and speak my truths as an adoptee. In doing so, I explain what it means and what it feels like to “come out of the fog”. This isn't your feel good podcast, I am an angry, healing and honest adoptee.
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Top 10 Adoptees Crossing Lines Episodes
Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Adoptees Crossing Lines episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Adoptees Crossing Lines for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Adoptees Crossing Lines episode by adding your comments to the episode page.
Navigating the Complex World of Adoption: Unveiling Azriel June's Journey
Adoptees Crossing Lines
08/25/23 • 45 min
Navigating the Complex World of Adoption: Unveiling Azriel June's Journey
They were told they’re white. They aren’t. They were told they’re Jewish. They aren’t. They tried to erase her heritage over and over again. They couldn’t...so they “gave her back”. This is the story that explains how US adoptions human rights violations - they’re genocide.
This is Azriel’s story - a transcultural adoptee from a loving first family who has been systemically preyed upon by the adoption industry.
TW: Sexual Assault
“The worst part about the secrecy was that I knew I was being lied to. And not by, you know, my friends or some girl in middle school or something, but by the people who were supposed to be my parents.”
What we discussed
(00:40) Azriel, an adoption abolitionist
(01:27) A whole family traumatized by adoptions OR Azriel’s adoption story
(06:02) Erasing my heritage OR No idea who I am...
(08:32) Mindf*cked OR From someone’s garbage to someone’s blessing
(11:26) Illegal adoption OR Renting me for my “cute” years OR Getting illegally adopted
(12:52) My mom and grandma’s traumas
(16:28) Is adoption generosity? OR Is adoption selfless? OR Is adoption a better life?
(21:37) Living a literal lie OR Why am I not good enough to know the truth?
(24:59) Why I think my adoption was illegal
(27:52) What I wish they did instead OR 1 call would’ve changed my life
(29:46) Becoming an abolitionist
(31:10) Family policing is genocide
(34:51) Community is lifesaving OR “Twitter was as angry as me” OR Community saved my life
Links
Connect with Azriel: Twitter
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
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Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community
Adoptees Crossing Lines
03/22/24 • 58 min
Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community
The Church does an excellent job of silencing you if you oppose them. They’d even hire a marketing company to rebrand adoption so that their business as adoption middlemen can continue to thrive. But, it’s not just the Church. The dominant culture is to silence anyone who speaks up against adoption. To make them feel shame. To gaslight them. That was Mila Konomos’ experience once she realized how adoption has wounded her.
Mila tells her story of how she was forcibly removed from her family in 1975 to the realization in 2009 that everything she thought she knew about adoption was a lie. She discusses how reuniting with her biological parents changed everything, how similar she realized she was hto her bio parents, grappling with her identity, the power of speaking up, and the cultural resistance against accepting the truth about adoption.
Mila is the host of the podcast called Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie.
“If you don't change the narrative, then you can't change the policies.”
What we discussed
(00:22) Who is Mila Kanomos?
(01:39) Being a (clueless) grateful adoptee
(04:25) Realizing I’m actually wounded
(06:00) “You had this information all of my life?!”
(08:24) The Last Unicorn
(12:55) Terrified of opposing adoption publicly
(15:50) The Church is complicit
(18:23) Propaganda around adoption
(19:38) Surviving reunion
(22:04) How do I become Korean?
(25:39) Biological traits & connections
(30:55) Everything you know about adoption is a lie
(36:43) Church PAID to rebrand adoption
(41:03) Centering adoptee narratives
(44:47) Adoption IS oppression
(49:03) What can you do about this?
(55:51) You already know who you are
Links
Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie Podcast
Child Catchers by Catherine Joyce
Connect with Mila: Instagram | Podcast Instagram
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Confronting the Racist Legacy of the Child Welfare System w/ Alan Dettlaff
Adoptees Crossing Lines
01/25/24 • 43 min
Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System
It was when Alan arrived at a home with the cops to remove a child and heard his mother say “Charles, run, they're coming to take you and they're going to sell you to the white people” that he realized how the trauma of slavery cannot be disentangled from the trauma of family separation. It was in this moment that he realized the harm he’s done to many families and decided to take a different path. Today, Alan Dettlaff is an abolitionist and co-founder of the upEND Movement.
In this episode we explore the racist legacy of the child welfare system through discussing Alan’s book Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System: The Case for Abolition.
What we discussed
(00:23) Who is Alan Dettlaff?
(01:35) Removing children from their families OR He was complicit
(04:16) Why reforms don’t work (and what does)
(08:32) Why the family policing system is racist
(14:31) What’s wrong with mandatory reporting laws?
(20:23) Trump’s Zero Tolerance Policy
(23:58) People wanted to end family separations previously
(25:25) Everyday acts of abolition (that you can do)
(31:55) Social workers and the abolitionist movement
(35:06) “Run, they’re going to sell you to white people” OR Trauma of slavery vs. trauma of family separations
(38:19) Learning more from Alan Dettlaff
Links
Alan Dettlaff’s book: Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System: The Case for Abolition
Upend Movement: Donate | Podcast
Abolitionist Perspectives In Social Work
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
My Journey to Abolition
Adoptees Crossing Lines
03/08/24 • 33 min
My Journey To Abolition
Every adult in my childhood has failed me, none of them did what they’re supposed to. Every part of the system failed me...it did exactly what it’s supposed to. The system kills children and breaks families, it must be abolished. In this episode, I share how I gradually evolved towards this deep belief starting from a school trip to juvie when I was just 10. I talk about my encounters with the family policing system growing up and how it failed me.
My story is not an is not an anomaly or an isolated incident. This is the experience of many children who are victims of the family policing system that they carry with them through adulthood.
Abolition is a journey toward collective liberation, this is my journey so far...
[CW: Sexual and Physical Abuse]
What we discussed
(00:22) Taking a trip to juvie at 10 years old
(03:42) The system is NOT broken
(04:42) [CW] Punished for speaking up about abuse
(07:30) Losing faith in adoption, police, and the system OR My first encounter with family policing system
(10:32) Going to school with bruises on my arm OR “You had a really good school year because DCF did not show up at my door” OR DCF shows up, I’m a disappointment OR DCF gets me in trouble
(16:41) My adopters’ public facade OR Where my skepticism started OR Losing respect for authority
(19:10) Suffering through therapy
(21:40) Who are they protecting? OR Abolition is the only option
(25:54) The system doesn’t care about children [CW: school shootings] OR They let alligators eat black babies (true story)
(31:45) My journey with queerness OR Queers in evangelical homes
Links
Learn more about abolition: Alan Dettlaff Episode | Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts
Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System By Alan Dettlaff
13th Documentary | The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Exploring the Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: Insights from Adoptees
Adoptees Crossing Lines
03/24/23 • 39 min
Exploring the Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: Insights from Adoptees
Why adoptees are more likely to attempt suicide
Trigger Warning: Suicide, Suicidal ideation, Involuntary hospitalization
Adoptees are 4x more likely to commit suicide, in this episode we unpack why that is. Being an adoptee is a lifelong sentence, we have to cosplay as someone else’s child, we belong almost nowhere - and on top of all that, we invest emotional labor educating therapists about our mental health.
Throughout the episode, we answer questions you’ve asked us on Twitter about adoptee mental health.
“To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.” - James Baldwin
What we discussed
(00:00) Content Warning
(00:47) Should the state fund adoptee therapy?
(02:21) Cosplaying as someone else’s child
(07:40) Why adoptees struggle with mental health
(11:31) Why holidays suck for us
(13:23) Does sharing our experiences help?
(19:26) The anger inside of us
(24:07) Finding an adoptee-competent therapist OR Finding a therapist that understands adoption OR Finding a therapist you don’t have to teach
(29:10) What works (other than therapy)?
(32:57) Societal gaslighting against adoptees
Links
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Learn more about Lia
Adoptee Therapists: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Unveiling Roots: The Journey of Gregory D. Luce, Attorney and Advocate for Adoptee Rights
Adoptees Crossing Lines
11/10/23 • 42 min
Unveiling Roots: The Journey of Gregory D. Luce, Attorney and Advocate for Adoptee Rights
Us adoptees have to pay thousands of dollars and jump through hoops to unseal our records. This robs us of autonomy, dignity, and equality. Gregory D. Luce is an attorney who helps adoptees all across the US go through this hurdle.
In this episode we discuss Greg’s personal adoption journey that made him so passionate about adoptee rights. We also discuss the important work that he does around adoptee records through his organizations the Adoptee Rights Law Center and Adoptees United.
What we discussed
(00:22) Baby scoop era
(03:07) Was never “in the fog”
(05:14) Divorce of his adoptive parents
(06:17) Pay $500 to find no records??
(07:20) Finding his mom coincidentally
(08:23) Establishing the Adoptee Rights Law Center
(10:58) Inheriting his mom’s records and belongings
(14:25) What restrictions are in YOUR state?
(16:54) Adoption records issue for non-US adoptions and illegal adoptions
(20:16) What are baby boxes?
(21:52) Adoption after abolition (what will it look like?) OR You can’t end adoption
(25:58) Why accessing adoption records matters
(27:36) What do Adoptees United do?
(31:30) Adoptee causes need MONEY
(34:28) Future of adoptee rights
(38:07) How to support Greg’s work
Links
Connect with Gregory D. Luce: Twitter
An Open Letter to the People who Bought Me
Adoptees Crossing Lines
02/09/23 • 33 min
An open letter to the people who bought me
Yesterday I decided to text my adoptive parents that they failed me as parents, it was the first time I ever confronted them. I talk about how they responded in this episode and open up about being sexually assaulted as a child...then gaslighted. This was never my burden to carry, but they always blamed me. They used religion as a guise to avoid responsibility. Instead of risking the possibility of ruining their image, they chose to definitely ruin my life.
This episode is an open letter to my adoptive parents, the people who bought me.
“Shame dies when we tell our story”
What we discussed
(00:00) What happened yesterday OR What I texted my adoptive parents OR Telling my adoptive parents they failed me
(01:52) No one believed I was sexually assaulted OR Being sexually assaulted was MY fault???!
(06:45) They were EDUCATORS
(08:06) Should child protective services be abolished? OR Abolishing child protective services? OR Why I’m an abolitionist
(09:42) Olivia Atkocaitis’ story
(11:02) How the police failed me before I was born OR The police system is not broken.
(14:22) My parents were cowards OR I’m relieved he died
(17:38) Standing up to my parents for the first time
(20:15) How they responded
(25:36) Why I sent the text
(28:39) Own your story
Links
Olivia Atkocaitis’ Story on NBC
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Learn more about Lia
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Adoption, Therapy, and Self-Discovery: Fai Knudson's Story
Adoptees Crossing Lines
05/24/24 • 53 min
Fai Knudson
Fai Knudson grew up in a white, conservative town, always feeling different. As a biracial, transracial adoptee, Faye faced racism and isolation.
Leaving their hometown ignited a journey of self-discovery, leading to advocacy and therapy focused on adoptee mental health.
In this episode, Fai shares their powerful story, the challenges of being a transracial adoptee, and how they now help others navigate similar paths.
What we discussed
(00:18) Who is Fai Knudson?
(04:05) Feeling different
(05:32) Not allowed to read adoption paperwork
(06:30) Coming out of the fog
(09:11) Studying adoption for master’s
(13:53) Adoptee therapists
(21:32) Adoptee care is neglected
(28:12) Story behind “Good Faith Therapy”
(33:20) Support for adoptees
(35:01) Genetic graveyard
(36:24) Finding an adoptee affirming therapist
(39:34) Partial reunion
(47:54) Finding your authentic self
Links
Connect with Fai Knudson: LinkedIn
Good Faith Therapy Website | Good Faith Therapy Instagram
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Challenging Adoption Norms and Embracing Queer Parenting: A Conversation with Yomi
Adoptees Crossing Lines
06/23/23 • 42 min
Adoptee Origin Story: Ayomide Bee
Is Adoption Human Trafficking? With Ayomide Bee
Selling children is human trafficking, so why isn’t adoption considered human trafficking? It’s state-sanctioned trafficking with a paper trail.
Ayomide Bee shares her adoption story as a queer transracial adoptee.
Her take is not only that same-sex couples shouldn’t adopt - but that adoption should be abolished.
Listen to her origin story & views.
“Just because it's legal doesn't mean that it's not trafficking. Slavery was legal. The residential homes were legal. Legality doesn't mean a goddamn thing.” - Ayomide Bee
What We Discussed
(00:31) Story of Ayomide Bee
(02:32) Always being the topic of conversation OR Knowing yourself by how people talk about you OR Our story = other people’s stories of us?
(04:23) Coming out of the fog OR Finding wonky stuff in the adoption paperwork
(05:22) Being forced into adoption
(08:07) Decision to go no contact
(12:13) How she wants her adoptive parents to take accountability
(14:15) Should same-sex couples adopt?
(19:58) Is adoption human trafficking?
(25:24) Adoption alternatives
(28:48) Relationship w/bio grandma (who suggested adoption) OR Anger toward grandma
(37:19) What does abolishing adoption look like?
(40:30) Connecting with Ayomide
Links
Connect With Ayomide: Instagram | Substack
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Adoption Trauma, Mental Health, and Suicide Risk with Lina Vanegas
Adoptees Crossing Lines
09/08/23 • 46 min
Lina
Though Lina Vanegas was born to a Colombian family, she was forced to assimilate as a white jewish person. 38 years later, she’s unable to fully connect with her bio family nor speak their language. Forced assimilation is trauma.
Her mission is to educate people on adoption trauma. In the episode, she gives a crash course on why adoption is trauma, what to do if you want to adopt in a trauma-informed way, and how to go down the rabbit hole of being adoption-trauma informed.
What we discussed
(00:32) Can you make up for 38 years of loss?
(05:08) Forced assimilation in childhood
(07:11) Can’t speak my own language
(09:14) Rescripting the narrative
(10:31) If you’re thinking of adopting, do THIS.
(20:05) Why she’s educating the public
(24:42) Adoption is preventable trauma OR Mental health and adoption
(28:07) Suicide among adoptees OR Why is adoption trauma? [EXPLAINED]
(31:57) Intervention for adoptees
(38:07) Finding an adoption-competent therapist [HOW-TO]
(42:00) Educate yourself
(43:50) Connect with Lina Vanegas
Links
Rescripting The Narrative Podcast
Adopted From Colombia Facebook Group
The Child Catchers by Katherine Joyce
Connect with Lina Vanegas: Instagram | Twitter
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
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Podcast Q&A
Why did you start this show?
We started this show so we could be heard. The adoption narrative is almost ALWAYS focused on the industry and adoptive parents, not the adoptees who are most affected.
What do you hope listeners gain from listening to your show?
We are 3 people with 3 very different experiences of being adopted. In this podcast we deconstruct the romanticism holding up the adoption industry and expose the lies, abuse, and pain that gets silenced. We’re here to unwrap the shiny bow around adoption and speak our truths as adoptees. In doing so, we explain what it means and what it feels like to “come out of the fog”. This isn't your feel good podcast, we are angry, healing and honest adoptees.
Which episode should someone start with?
Welcome to Adoptees Crossing Lines
Which have been your favourite episodes so far?
Adoptees & Mental Health Adoptees & Saviorism Adoptees as Parents Adoptees & Grief
Which episode are you most proud of?
I'm most proud of our first episode. This all started with a tweet and eventually manifested, so to see it come to fruition is beautiful.
What is your vision for your show?
Our vision for the show for adoptees to feel seen, heard and loved. We hope to build community because we believe the only way we get through this collective trauma is together.
How did you come up with the name for your podcast?
Dr. Noelle actually came up with the name. We had been brainstorming about it and kept hitting walls. When we heard Adoptees Crossing Lines we really liked it because it really embodied what we were trying to do. We aren't here to cater to adoptive parents or the industry, we're here to tell the truth and to most we are crossing lines by going against the status quo, but to us this is our lived experience.
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FAQ
How many episodes does Adoptees Crossing Lines have?
Adoptees Crossing Lines currently has 38 episodes available.
What topics does Adoptees Crossing Lines cover?
The podcast is about Adoption, Society & Culture, Abortion, Personal Journals, Foster Care, Podcasts, Self-Improvement and Education.
What is the most popular episode on Adoptees Crossing Lines?
The episode title 'Navigating the Complex World of Adoption: Unveiling Azriel June's Journey' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on Adoptees Crossing Lines?
The average episode length on Adoptees Crossing Lines is 38 minutes.
How often are episodes of Adoptees Crossing Lines released?
Episodes of Adoptees Crossing Lines are typically released every 14 days.
When was the first episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines?
The first episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines was released on Oct 24, 2022.
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