Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community
03/22/24 • 58 min
Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community
The Church does an excellent job of silencing you if you oppose them. They’d even hire a marketing company to rebrand adoption so that their business as adoption middlemen can continue to thrive. But, it’s not just the Church. The dominant culture is to silence anyone who speaks up against adoption. To make them feel shame. To gaslight them. That was Mila Konomos’ experience once she realized how adoption has wounded her.
Mila tells her story of how she was forcibly removed from her family in 1975 to the realization in 2009 that everything she thought she knew about adoption was a lie. She discusses how reuniting with her biological parents changed everything, how similar she realized she was hto her bio parents, grappling with her identity, the power of speaking up, and the cultural resistance against accepting the truth about adoption.
Mila is the host of the podcast called Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie.
“If you don't change the narrative, then you can't change the policies.”
What we discussed
(00:22) Who is Mila Kanomos?
(01:39) Being a (clueless) grateful adoptee
(04:25) Realizing I’m actually wounded
(06:00) “You had this information all of my life?!”
(08:24) The Last Unicorn
(12:55) Terrified of opposing adoption publicly
(15:50) The Church is complicit
(18:23) Propaganda around adoption
(19:38) Surviving reunion
(22:04) How do I become Korean?
(25:39) Biological traits & connections
(30:55) Everything you know about adoption is a lie
(36:43) Church PAID to rebrand adoption
(41:03) Centering adoptee narratives
(44:47) Adoption IS oppression
(49:03) What can you do about this?
(55:51) You already know who you are
Links
Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie Podcast
Child Catchers by Catherine Joyce
Connect with Mila: Instagram | Podcast Instagram
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community
The Church does an excellent job of silencing you if you oppose them. They’d even hire a marketing company to rebrand adoption so that their business as adoption middlemen can continue to thrive. But, it’s not just the Church. The dominant culture is to silence anyone who speaks up against adoption. To make them feel shame. To gaslight them. That was Mila Konomos’ experience once she realized how adoption has wounded her.
Mila tells her story of how she was forcibly removed from her family in 1975 to the realization in 2009 that everything she thought she knew about adoption was a lie. She discusses how reuniting with her biological parents changed everything, how similar she realized she was hto her bio parents, grappling with her identity, the power of speaking up, and the cultural resistance against accepting the truth about adoption.
Mila is the host of the podcast called Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie.
“If you don't change the narrative, then you can't change the policies.”
What we discussed
(00:22) Who is Mila Kanomos?
(01:39) Being a (clueless) grateful adoptee
(04:25) Realizing I’m actually wounded
(06:00) “You had this information all of my life?!”
(08:24) The Last Unicorn
(12:55) Terrified of opposing adoption publicly
(15:50) The Church is complicit
(18:23) Propaganda around adoption
(19:38) Surviving reunion
(22:04) How do I become Korean?
(25:39) Biological traits & connections
(30:55) Everything you know about adoption is a lie
(36:43) Church PAID to rebrand adoption
(41:03) Centering adoptee narratives
(44:47) Adoption IS oppression
(49:03) What can you do about this?
(55:51) You already know who you are
Links
Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie Podcast
Child Catchers by Catherine Joyce
Connect with Mila: Instagram | Podcast Instagram
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Previous Episode
My Journey to Abolition
My Journey To Abolition
Every adult in my childhood has failed me, none of them did what they’re supposed to. Every part of the system failed me...it did exactly what it’s supposed to. The system kills children and breaks families, it must be abolished. In this episode, I share how I gradually evolved towards this deep belief starting from a school trip to juvie when I was just 10. I talk about my encounters with the family policing system growing up and how it failed me.
My story is not an is not an anomaly or an isolated incident. This is the experience of many children who are victims of the family policing system that they carry with them through adulthood.
Abolition is a journey toward collective liberation, this is my journey so far...
[CW: Sexual and Physical Abuse]
What we discussed
(00:22) Taking a trip to juvie at 10 years old
(03:42) The system is NOT broken
(04:42) [CW] Punished for speaking up about abuse
(07:30) Losing faith in adoption, police, and the system OR My first encounter with family policing system
(10:32) Going to school with bruises on my arm OR “You had a really good school year because DCF did not show up at my door” OR DCF shows up, I’m a disappointment OR DCF gets me in trouble
(16:41) My adopters’ public facade OR Where my skepticism started OR Losing respect for authority
(19:10) Suffering through therapy
(21:40) Who are they protecting? OR Abolition is the only option
(25:54) The system doesn’t care about children [CW: school shootings] OR They let alligators eat black babies (true story)
(31:45) My journey with queerness OR Queers in evangelical homes
Links
Learn more about abolition: Alan Dettlaff Episode | Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts
Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System By Alan Dettlaff
13th Documentary | The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Next Episode
Adoption is not a part of God's plan
Adoption is Not A Part Of God’s Plan
People who adopt say it’s God’s plan for them to adopt. But, they almost never say that God’s plan is for them NOT to have children. This is just one of the many ways people use religion to justify human trafficking.
I found out, through an archived article, that I was trafficked by the Church through the One Church, One Child movement which operates in 32 states.
What we discussed
(00:22) Is adoption God’s plan?
(04:23) Forcing adoptees to go to church OR “Go to church or leave”
(11:53) Making adoptees mini versions of them
(13:04) Telling my adoptive parents I’m stepping away from the church
(14:51) One Church, One Child business
(20:36) The church trafficked me
(28:39) Orphan sundays
(30:07) Church preaches family separation (hypocritical?)
(34:24) Forced assimilation
(36:13) Adoption is not God’s plan
Links
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/adoptees-crossing-lines-253817/milas-truth-navigating-adoption-liberation-and-community-47026713"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to mila's truth: navigating adoption, liberation, and community on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy