An Open Letter to the People who Bought Me
02/09/23 • 33 min
An open letter to the people who bought me
Yesterday I decided to text my adoptive parents that they failed me as parents, it was the first time I ever confronted them. I talk about how they responded in this episode and open up about being sexually assaulted as a child...then gaslighted. This was never my burden to carry, but they always blamed me. They used religion as a guise to avoid responsibility. Instead of risking the possibility of ruining their image, they chose to definitely ruin my life.
This episode is an open letter to my adoptive parents, the people who bought me.
“Shame dies when we tell our story”
What we discussed
(00:00) What happened yesterday OR What I texted my adoptive parents OR Telling my adoptive parents they failed me
(01:52) No one believed I was sexually assaulted OR Being sexually assaulted was MY fault???!
(06:45) They were EDUCATORS
(08:06) Should child protective services be abolished? OR Abolishing child protective services? OR Why I’m an abolitionist
(09:42) Olivia Atkocaitis’ story
(11:02) How the police failed me before I was born OR The police system is not broken.
(14:22) My parents were cowards OR I’m relieved he died
(17:38) Standing up to my parents for the first time
(20:15) How they responded
(25:36) Why I sent the text
(28:39) Own your story
Links
Olivia Atkocaitis’ Story on NBC
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Learn more about Lia
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
An open letter to the people who bought me
Yesterday I decided to text my adoptive parents that they failed me as parents, it was the first time I ever confronted them. I talk about how they responded in this episode and open up about being sexually assaulted as a child...then gaslighted. This was never my burden to carry, but they always blamed me. They used religion as a guise to avoid responsibility. Instead of risking the possibility of ruining their image, they chose to definitely ruin my life.
This episode is an open letter to my adoptive parents, the people who bought me.
“Shame dies when we tell our story”
What we discussed
(00:00) What happened yesterday OR What I texted my adoptive parents OR Telling my adoptive parents they failed me
(01:52) No one believed I was sexually assaulted OR Being sexually assaulted was MY fault???!
(06:45) They were EDUCATORS
(08:06) Should child protective services be abolished? OR Abolishing child protective services? OR Why I’m an abolitionist
(09:42) Olivia Atkocaitis’ story
(11:02) How the police failed me before I was born OR The police system is not broken.
(14:22) My parents were cowards OR I’m relieved he died
(17:38) Standing up to my parents for the first time
(20:15) How they responded
(25:36) Why I sent the text
(28:39) Own your story
Links
Olivia Atkocaitis’ Story on NBC
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Learn more about Lia
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]
Previous Episode
Navigating Relationships as an Adoptee
Navigating Relationships as an Adoptee
Description:
In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha explore the complexities of navigating relationships as adoptees. From dating to friendships and family dynamics, they discuss how adoption trauma, abandonment issues, and people-pleasing tendencies impact their ability to connect with others. The conversation delves into why adoptees may struggle to feel secure in relationships and why educating partners and friends is so important. They also provide advice for those looking to build healthy relationships with adoptees.
In this episode, we cover:
(01:03) Sharing adoption status with partners and how it affects relationships.
(03:25) Lia discusses the difficulty of explaining estranged family relationships.
(04:05) Noelle reflects on fear of abandonment and its impact on introducing partners to family.
(06:26) The burden of educating partners and the need for them to educate themselves.
(07:51) Noelle’s positive experience of having a partner who actively learns about adoption.
(09:16) The struggle of being a people pleaser due to adoption trauma.
(12:22) Lia’s struggle to believe people truly care about her and feeling disposable.
(14:17) Noelle’s difficulty with bonding and having few deep relationships.
(15:45) The pressure to constantly put others first and ignore one's own needs.
(18:08) Noelle struggles to assert herself and avoid making others uncomfortable.
(19:05) Lia’s experience with friends not understanding how deeply adoption affects her.
(21:02) Lia’s attempt to address trauma with her adoptive parents and how it went poorly.
(22:55) The challenge of confronting adoptive parents about trauma and lack of accountability.
(24:51) The most challenging aspects of navigating relationships as an adoptee.
(28:08) Advice for those looking to build healthy relationships with adoptees.
Call To Action:
- Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
- Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
- BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
- TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
- Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack
Resource:
Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here.
Work With Me:
Email: [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.
Editing by Samuel Oyedele:
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].
Next Episode
Exploring Blackness and Adoption: Navigating Identity and Challenges
Blackness & Adoption
Episode Description:
In this episode, we discuss the unique and often challenging experience of being a Black adoptee. We explore the intersection of Blackness and adoption, the harmful impact of transracial adoption, how the adoption industry profits from Black children, and the ways in which Black adoptees navigate identity, culture, and trauma.
This episode covers:
(00:29) Introduction to Blackness and Adoption
(03:50) The cost difference between Black and white children in the adoption industry
(07:41) The transactional nature of adoption and dehumanization of Black children
(12:41) The intentional erasure of Black identity in transracial adoptions
(15:02) Experiences of internalized racism and coming into Black identity
(20:20) How adoption perpetuates slavery-like dynamics and ownership of children
(25:01) Reclaiming Blackness and identity as a Black adoptee
Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:
- Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
- Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
- BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
- TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
- Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack
Resource:
Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here.
Work With Me:
Email: [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.
Editing by Samuel Oyedele:
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].
Adoptees Crossing Lines - An Open Letter to the People who Bought Me
Transcript
Lia:
Hey, so I am coming to you with a special episode. A solo episode. This is Lia here and Um. The reason for this episode is because of some events that occurred this week in my personal life. So I've talked about before on the show How I am, no contact with my mom and I still speak to my you know adopted dad and things like that. Um, but over the past couple of months, our relationship has become kind of strained as I just continued to heal more and I really start to see things for what
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