443 | Why is it so Hard to Relax? with Stephanie Antoine

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08/23/22 • 51 min

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In this episode, Eric is joined by Stephanie Antoine, a self-care and ADHD coach based in California and hails from London with roots in the Caribbean. She spent many years studying meditation and yoga to reduce stress, chronic pain, and to keep things together before finally being diagnosed with ADHD at age 40. In addition to her professional work as a violinist, Stephanie is a qualified teacher of (Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction) from , practiced and trained to teach yoga at the Iyengar Institute of San Francisco and is an ACSM (American College of Sports Medicine) Personal Trainer with an ICF (International Coaching Federation) Coaching Certificate. You’ll hear Stephanie’s experience with burnout, being a mom, overwhelm, and overdoing without enough support. Stephanie also talks about the ways her ADHD showed up in her life and the moments that led her to the path to discovering her ADHD and incorporating meditation in her life. Then, Eric and Stephanie talk about the difficulties and engaging in practicing, and her experience of being a person of color in a very white space. Next, you’ll hear about Stephanie’s experience in straining to relax, why relaxing is necessary, why she was sent to a relaxation class, and the power of pausing. Then, Stephanie and Eric discuss the pressures we face that make it difficult for us to relax, ways to build the muscle of observation, ways that Stephanie overcomes resistance to starting a difficult task, and the importance of curiosity when facing unpleasant or difficult moments and moments of boredom. Finally, you’ll hear about the difference between seeing and looking, meditation, why taking care of oneself is important and why self-care is not selfish. Visit Stephanie’s Website at “We practice ‘practice’, we don’t practice results.” - Phillip Moffitt Other Questions & Topics in this Episode: How did Stephanie experience burnout? What was it like for Stephanie being the only black person in primarily white spaces? Why is it so hard to relax? Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mahan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens

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442 | Trauma & ADHD with Mary Dolson

In this episode, Mary Kima Dolson, a clinical social worker, joins the podcast! As a clinical social worker, Mary has been providing psychotherapy in incarcerated populations since 2019. She is the founder of the pandemic support group Stuff We Can’t Say Out Loud and the executive director for Fund That Bitch, a non-profit group dedicated to helping women with emergency funding. Mary also You’ll hear Eric and Mary talk about trauma in incarcerated populations, if the word “trauma” is overused, trigger warnings, and the misunderstandings about trauma and its multifaceted layers. Then, Mary and Eric talk about different types of trauma, unique trauma responses, the ways that people in the ADHD community can experience trauma, and how trauma responses can show up as ADHD traits. Eric and Mary also talk about other trauma features, if there is a connection between trauma and workaholism, the importance of investing in and validating someone’s experience, and the healing and adjusting process of the incarcerated population. Finally, you’ll hear about Mary’s experiences with trauma, how she got into her work, and a story about Henry the tortoise. Get More from Mary: Other Questions & Topics in this Episode: What is trauma? What is the difference between trauma and acute stress disorder? PTSD and CPTSD - what’s the difference? What is the “trifuckta” of trauma? What do we do about complex trauma? What are some of the less obvious markers, behaviorally and emotionally, of trauma? Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mahan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens

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444 | ADHD Tax Stories & Strategies with Rick Webster

In this episode, Rick Webster returns to the show! Rick has expertise in real-estate, entrepreneurship, and ADHD! He has managed many domains in the financial and real-estate world, and in the last couple of years, he’s put his focus in helping people with ADHD make better peace and better “cents” of their finances. As CEO of Rena-Fi, Rick brings perspective, vision, and passion to an area of life he considers foundational: Personal Money Management. His motto has always been, “It’s not just business; it’s personal.” Eric and Rick share stories about paying the ADHD tax and its larger umbrella, the effects of chronic long-term stress, ways to change self-talk and self-identity to get things done, challenges we may encounter when developing financial habits, the shame we can feel when working on our finances, and forgiving ourselves. Then, Eric and Rick talk about behavioral finance, why money management isn’t just about willpower, the impact of looking upstream, creating reminders and cues, and saying “no” to improve performance. Finally, you’ll hear Eric and Rick talk about maintenance costs, other costs of homeownership, planning for upcoming maintenance, and the three primary reasons why the ADHD tax continues to happen. Learn More about Rick Webster at Other ADHD-tax stories shared on this episode: “I have paid the ADHD tax so many times. I’d love some recommendations on extremely simple/easy budgeting tools. A lot of budgeting books have too many steps.” “I always do my taxes at the last possible minute and don’t know if I do them right, and I always owe a lot.” “Didn’t pay a speeding ticket, license was suspended. Pulled over again - arrested driving with a suspended license. Then, I paid much more than the original speeding ticket for a lawyer, speeding tickets, and additional charges for reinstating my license. “I pay the ADHD tax every day. Paying late-fees, re-buying things I can’t find, spending impulsively, paying for things I’m not using because I didn’t cancel them or forgot to return them in time, expedited shipping because I didn’t order something on-time, ordering take-out because I wasn’t organized enough to have dinner ready, etc. How can I be triggered to think things through at an early enough time that I can follow through in a way that lets me avoid the ADHD tax?” “I’ve paid the ADHD tax on rush-orders. I’ve paid more on expensive repairs to my vehicles/yard equipment/house appliances, instead of the regular preventative maintenance that would’ve prevented the damage in the first place. I have paid out-of-pocket costs for my meds because my insurance lapsed or I never sent in the reimbursement forms for what would be covered if I do the extra steps. How do I know what the preventative maintenance tasks are on my big or expensive things (often appliances)? I feel like I “should” do many of them myself. Would I be paying an ADHD tax by paying people to come do some of these easier tasks for my appliances because they at least know and will at least call me when they are due?” Hear Rick Webster on ! Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mahan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens