You Go First - On Repairing Important Relationships

Retrying, repairing or restoring broken relationships with parents, children or close friends is difficult. But given the importance of these connections in our lives, try we must. The question is, why should we and how do we? In this episode, Rob explains how he developed loving, good relationships with his birth mother after being abandoned by her when he was two, and his father after a cold patch emerged.

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT

• Important relationships are worth more than anything else
• Life satisfaction research
• The role of close relationships
• Friendships are dynamic over time
• Quote: “Relationships are a living thing”
• The commonality of relationship fractures
• Giving and receiving love is central to life
• Silence eats away those involved
• Even if it’s not your fault
• Time is a healer
• Quote: “Time heals many wounds, and can change minds.”
• Nothing stays the same
• Carrying heavy, unnecessary burdens
• The story of my birth mother - making contact after 35 years
• The key is this: you go first
• Having reasonable expectations
• Taking it slow
• Watch and see what happens
• What to do if you get a negative response
• Making some effort can soften hard hearts
• The value of important relationships
• Investing time and energy moving towards the other person
• Free online chat/session www.robbialostocki.com  

HOW TO WORK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE

• Don’t focus on the problems, focus on the possibilities.
• Don’t focus on the injustices, focus on interest.
• Don’t focus on expecting, focus on accepting.
• Take one step towards the other person.
• Enquire, don’t require.
• Keep it short
• Be kind.
• Repeat.