How to Find the Real You

10/05/21 • 21 min

1 Listener

INTRO

We bring our best to the world when we bring our true selves and our own magic. But for many, that is a distinct dream as they labour under layers of unhelpful ideas, expectations and opinions. In short, they’re not being real. In this episode, we explore why this happens and how to let the true you emerge more fully out into the light of day.

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT

Meditation and its benefits
No gurus, incense or weird stuff required
Feeling like there’s a real you somewhere deep down
Most of our experience is layers of sensation and belief
We act according to your beliefs
Practising paying focused attention to the moment
Breath, sound, sights, sensations, aches, busy mind
Meditation enables you to realise the layers upon you
There is much we carry that we simply don’t need to
Finding yourself isn’t external
Taking off layers of ideas, expectations and habits
It’s like a pile of blankets on top of you
Taking them off reveals the true you
Saying ‘no’ or ‘no longer!’
‘I do not want that anymore.’
We accumulate layers from our parents, friends, the media, the church…
Claustrophobic relationships
Financial hopeless
Stuck in a life-sucking job
Doubting long-held religious faith
The real you emerges from underneath all the layers.

HOW TO WORK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE

The sense you have is okay, it’s proof of life.

Give voice to it by writing down your thoughts, concerns and questions. Get them out of your head and onto paper.
Decide whether an item either helps or hinders. Categorise your thoughts and feelings to discern their value. Not everything is valuable.
Give yourself permission to say no. Or say, I no longer do this. Clear space for yourself by taking things off the table. Talk to them. Reject them.
Do some self-enquiry - ask yourself a few critical questions. Ask with your head, but listen with your heart. What is surfacing? Take note of it. Spend time fleshing it out. What does it mean? Why is it important? What would it mean for you? Questions like:
1. What do I really want from now on?
2. Who do I truly want to be?
3. What do I genuinely enjoy doing?

Keep exploring this until further clarity comes.

Take initial actions on things you believe are central to the real you.

Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/wisdomcafe)

INTRO

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT

Meditation and its benefits
No gurus, incense or weird stuff required
Feeling like there’s a real you somewhere deep down
Most of our experience is layers of sensation and belief
We act according to your beliefs
Practising paying focused attention to the moment
Breath, sound, sights, sensations, aches, busy mind
Meditation enables you to realise the layers upon you
There is much we carry that we simply don’t need to
Finding yourself isn’t external
Taking off layers of ideas, expectations and habits
It’s like a pile of blankets on top of you
Taking them off reveals the true you
Saying ‘no’ or ‘no longer!’
‘I do not want that anymore.’
We accumulate layers from our parents, friends, the media, the church…
Claustrophobic relationships
Financial hopeless
Stuck in a life-sucking job
Doubting long-held religious faith
The real you emerges from underneath all the layers.

HOW TO WORK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE

The sense you have is okay, it’s proof of life.

Give voice to it by writing down your thoughts, concerns and questions. Get them out of your head and onto paper.
Decide whether an item either helps or hinders. Categorise your thoughts and feelings to discern their value. Not everything is valuable.
Give yourself permission to say no. Or say, I no longer do this. Clear space for yourself by taking things off the table. Talk to them. Reject them.
Do some self-enquiry - ask yourself a few critical questions. Ask with your head, but listen with your heart. What is surfacing? Take note of it. Spend time fleshing it out. What does it mean? Why is it important? What would it mean for you? Questions like:
1. What do I really want from now on?
2. Who do I truly want to be?
3. What do I genuinely enjoy doing?

Keep exploring this until further clarity comes.

Take initial actions on things you believe are central to the real you.

Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/wisdomcafe)

Previous Episode

Growing Up vs Just Growing Old

INTRO

Wisdom is often associated with age. But age does not mean wisdom. In this episode, Rob looks at the essential difference between growing older and growing up. Listen to the story of the two hypothetical little boys who take different paths in life and end up in very different places.

TALKING POINTS

The beauty of watching little kids at play
Fast-forwarding your life - what will it be like?
The story of Mikey A vs M Mikey B
The so-called normal aspects of a modern life
Exercising choice to pursue a different path
Conscious living
60-year-olds who still seem to act like a 40-year-old
Growing old but not necessarily growing up
Choosing awareness, maturity, and wisdom
Learning about self, others, and the world
Enjoying life more
Experiencing less stress
Being someone others are drawn to
Non-financial wealth
Putting time and energy into personal development
We’re all biased in our thinking - it’s very human
Gaining useful insight into others
Meditation is about increasing your awareness of the present
Funny YouTube video
Developing a habit of spending time each day meditation
Resource: Waking Up app by Sam Harris
Resource: 10% Happier app by Dan Harris
Growing up has little to do with core intelligence
Contact Rob to share your best ideas
Get a free 30-minute chat with Rob online.

HOW TO WORK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE

Come to terms with all your life experiences

Spend some time reflecting on your mistakes, wrong-turns, and failures
Don’t worry about them, simply identify them
Sit with them for a while - accept them

Spend time learning how you work as human

Learn to meditate - i.e. becoming aware and present

To do this, you’ll need to have the desire and decide what you’ll stop or forsake to free up time and energy for the above.

Next Episode

You Go First - On Repairing Important Relationships

Retrying, repairing or restoring broken relationships with parents, children or close friends is difficult. But given the importance of these connections in our lives, try we must. The question is, why should we and how do we? In this episode, Rob explains how he developed loving, good relationships with his birth mother after being abandoned by her when he was two, and his father after a cold patch emerged.

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT