Better Understanding - the key to better outcomes in life and work
10/26/21 • 16 min
Understanding brings insight that can vastly improve the quality of our approach and actions, and the outcomes we can achieve. But first, you need to want to cultivate this kind of mindset. In this episode, Rob Bialostocki explores how better understanding can lead to better community change, a better divorce, and even better use of time and energy.
WHAT WE COVER
- Understanding brings insight and that enables compassion
- Understanding circumstances allows you to make better decisions
- Relationships based on mutual understanding are more rewarding
- It also brings clarity that helps you carve your own path
- Things happen for a reason, even if we don’t know what it is
- Why do we do what we do?
- What are the options?
- You can in fluency more when you understand more
- You need to want to understand - curiosity
- Pushing back on initial or first impressions, or easy answers
- Ockham’s Razor
- Know yourself and how you operate
- You have beliefs, preferences, an agenda
- Knowing how you’re blind
- Confirmation bias
- Ask better questions
- Eg. What’s behind this?
- What’s causing this?
- What other factors might be at play?
- Taking a more useful approach that aligns to cause
- Assess work, family, community group scenarios before choosing a solution
- Developing empathy for the other party brings understanding
- How to be nicer during divorce
- Knowing that reactions have an emotional basis
- You don’t have to agree with them
- Fostering compassion
- “Responding out of compassion is going to be far better than reacting out of self-preservation.”
- Seeing cause and effect allows you to cut them some slack
- The agenda behind advertising
- Knowing the game being played allows you to choose whether to play.
HOW TO WORK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE
It’s about asking yourself questions.
- What is happening here?
- Why is this happening? What’s causing it?
- Given that, is what I’m seeing any surprise?
- Also given that is probably what’s happening, how should I best respond?
Notice that it has little to do with being right. It has everything to do with being better.
Understanding brings insight that can vastly improve the quality of our approach and actions, and the outcomes we can achieve. But first, you need to want to cultivate this kind of mindset. In this episode, Rob Bialostocki explores how better understanding can lead to better community change, a better divorce, and even better use of time and energy.
WHAT WE COVER
- Understanding brings insight and that enables compassion
- Understanding circumstances allows you to make better decisions
- Relationships based on mutual understanding are more rewarding
- It also brings clarity that helps you carve your own path
- Things happen for a reason, even if we don’t know what it is
- Why do we do what we do?
- What are the options?
- You can in fluency more when you understand more
- You need to want to understand - curiosity
- Pushing back on initial or first impressions, or easy answers
- Ockham’s Razor
- Know yourself and how you operate
- You have beliefs, preferences, an agenda
- Knowing how you’re blind
- Confirmation bias
- Ask better questions
- Eg. What’s behind this?
- What’s causing this?
- What other factors might be at play?
- Taking a more useful approach that aligns to cause
- Assess work, family, community group scenarios before choosing a solution
- Developing empathy for the other party brings understanding
- How to be nicer during divorce
- Knowing that reactions have an emotional basis
- You don’t have to agree with them
- Fostering compassion
- “Responding out of compassion is going to be far better than reacting out of self-preservation.”
- Seeing cause and effect allows you to cut them some slack
- The agenda behind advertising
- Knowing the game being played allows you to choose whether to play.
HOW TO WORK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE
It’s about asking yourself questions.
- What is happening here?
- Why is this happening? What’s causing it?
- Given that, is what I’m seeing any surprise?
- Also given that is probably what’s happening, how should I best respond?
Notice that it has little to do with being right. It has everything to do with being better.
Previous Episode
Nothing is Set in Stone
Our lives are filled with possibilities and yet we often forget that nothing is set in stone. We can make changes to areas of our life that just don’t work anymore. In this episode, Rob discusses the kinds of changes that people who want a better life have made.
WHAT WE TALK ABOUT
- The newness of Spring
- Nothing is set in stone
- We act as if things are unchangeable
- From here on, everything is up for grabs
- Relationships, work, religion, lifestyle can all be changed
- Stop acting like you don’t have a choice
- Video: Julia Sweeney - Letting Go of God
- Changing your industry
- Looking for what gives you life again
- Feeling stuck may be due to fear
- Fear of the unknown, making a mistake or taking full responsibility.
- Who is telling you you cannot change?
- You have options.
- Yes, perseverance is good but…
- Don’t keep waiting on the dance floor alone.
- Old friendships that have changed.
- Minimalism brings clarity and simplicity.
- There is more life, love, and experience to come.
- Give yourself permission to change.
- Embrace the journey.
HOW TO USE THIS IN YOUR LIFE
- Take some time to review your life.
- Think about areas like work, love, friendships, activities, lifestyle, beliefs, and so on.
- Identify any area that isn’t working for you anymore.
- Don’t spend too much time analyzing it.
- Instead, try to imagine what you do want instead.
- Compare that to what you’re currently experiencing.
- If there’s a significant enough gap, start to deconstruct your notions about that area.
- Strip away all the parts you don’t want.
- Give yourself permission to change it.
- Take a step towards what you want instead. Do something to make it happen.
Next Episode
Your Best Years Are Not Behind You
The view of many in society is that when you get older, your life is mostly over and it’s time to go out and play bowls or something. However, there’s a growing mass of people 50+ who feel they’re only just getting started! In this episode, we celebrate the next chapters.
WHAT WE COVER
- The wonderfulness of being young
- Life in front of you vs behind you
- Believing you’re past it
- The wisdom of saving 10%
- Being happier at 60 than at 40
- The psychological U-curve of happiness
- Life’s best moments over time
- Society suggests older age is not so good
- A good life doesn’t consist of just things, holidays or career highs
- Measuring the clarity, contentment and peace you experience
- Inner states versus outer experiences
- Deciding what you want from now on.
HOW TO WORK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE
- Take a few minutes to have a cuppa
- Consider ‘What is my overall experience in life right now?’
- Decided what you really want in life
- Perhaps take a big sheet of paper and imagine yourself living the next 20 years.
- Where will you be?
- Who with?
- What’s the overall spirit of it all?
- What would you be doing?
- What would be some things you’ll really enjoy seeing?
- How will you want others to see you?
- Imagination helps creation.
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