Fresh Take: Michele Borba on Kids Who Thrive

03/26/21 • 40 min

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What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Dr. Michele Borba is a renowned educational psychologist and an expert in parenting, bullying, and character development. Her latest book is THRIVERS: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. This book offers practical, actionable ways to help kids develop the traits they need to thrive from preschool through high school, teaching them how to cope today so they can thrive tomorrow.

In this interview, Michele explains the "seven teachable traits" that allow kids to roll with the punches and succeed in life. Michele says the best parenting starts by meeting any kid exactly where they are, then giving them these tools to struggle less and shine more.

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Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!

Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast

Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast

Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast

Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast

questions and feedback: [email protected]

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Previous Episode

When Can We Start Saying Yes?

Vaccines. Mandate-liftings. Scaled reopenings. All of these things are great and long wished for.

But we were kind of thinking there'd be a bell, or something. A hard deadline. A day when we'd all dance out into the ticker-taped streets and make out with strangers in Times Square.

Without a "you are now free to move about the cabin" announcement, how will we know when it's okay for grandparents to visit? To fly to that wedding? To toss our masks once and for all?

When is it okay to start saying yes?

Our listener Heather put it this way:

I think seeing a light at the end of the tunnel can be unsettling. We've been living in this weird way for a year now. And as much as it seems crazy, we've gotten used to it.

Psychologists call the stress this is making us feel the “third-quarter phenomenon.” For people forced to endure long stretches of isolation– astronauts, Arctic explorers, submarine sailors– the most difficult part, regardless of the length of the assignment, has been proven to be about 75% of the way through, precisely when the end of the assignment first comes into distant focus.

As things start to open up and some of us don't feel ready, or wonder if the world is ready, it's a new source of stress that we were saved from when we were all apart.

Past scientists and astronauts who suffered from the “third-quarter phenomenon" were advised to refocus on their mission- why they were doing what they were doing, and the great worth of seeing it through. Seems like great advice for the rest of us. Focusing on the mission might be what will get us through this last part of the tunnel.

Here are links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Tara Law for Time: We're in the Third Quarter of the Pandemic. Antarctic Researchers, Mars Simulation Scientists and Navy Submarine Officers Have Advice For How to Get Through It

Robert Bechtel and Amy Berning: The Third-Quarter Phenomenon: Do People Experience Discomfort After Stress Has Passed?

Nathan Smith: The third-quarter phenomenon: the psychology of time in space

"Beautiful City" from Godspell (1973)

"Brand New Day" from The Wiz (1978)

@neilochka on Instagram

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Next Episode

Ask Margaret - How Can I Get My Kids to Get Rid of All the Stuff?

One of the greatest obstacles to keeping our houses in order is the sheer amount of stuff that arrives on a daily basis. Kids have a hard time letting go of things, but moms have a hard time having their houses filled with endless clutter!

This week Jennifer asks:

How do I help my kids (10 and 12 years old) get rid of all the stuff? We have so many toys and books and cardboard creations. They want to keep everything. EVERY. THING. I’ve tried getting them involved in picking stuff to donate to those less fortunate, and they just absolutely flat out refuse.

We've all had the experience of trying to get rid of a long-neglected toy, only to have our kid announce suddenly that it is their most beloved possession ever!

Four things to do to cut down on "the stuff" are:

Cut it off at the source: limit the amount of items coming in to your house by limiting purchases, and taking pictures of school projects instead of saving them.
Hold a firm line: decide before you begin a clean up that for every four things you keep, one must go.
Cull when they're not around: When you are cleaning without your kids around, you are allowed to get rid of things like cars with broken wheels and forgotten Happy Meal toys without asking permission.
Limit collections: Everyone is the family is allowed two, not twenty.

Your kids' strong feelings about their stuff does not mean they get to make all the decisions about what remains in your house. It's okay for parents to enforce rules that make your living situation more pleasant for everyone involved.

Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

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