I Keep Trying To Catch His Eye: Grief as Love with Author and ESPN Writer, Ivan Maisel

11/22/21 • 50 min

A deeply emotional memoir by a longtime ESPN writer about the suicide of his son Max and how their complicated relationship led him to see grief as love.

In February 2015, Ivan Maisel received a call that would alter his life forever: his son Max’s car was found abandoned in a parking lot next to Lake Ontario. Two months and countless harrowing hours later, Max’s body was found in the lake. There’d been no note or obvious indication that Max wanted to harm himself; he’d signed up for a year-long subscription to a dating service; he’d spent the day he disappeared doing photography work for school. And this uncertainty became part of his father’s grief.

Taking its title from Max’s love of photography—and his tendency to only love the camera when he was behind it, looking away whenever his picture was taken—I KEEP TRYING TO CATCH HIS EYE tells the deeply human and empathetic story of a father’s relationship with his son, of its complications, and of Max and Ivan’s struggle—as is the case for so many parents and their children—to connect. And of how our tendency to overlook men’s mental health can have devastating consequences, and how ultimately letting those who grieve do so openly and freely can lead to greater healing.

The Two Jess(es) have the unique opportunity to talk with Ivan about grief, and how, at its most stripped down state, it is really born out of love.

Meet Ivan:
Ivan Maisel is Vice President/Editorial and Senior Writer at on3.com. He has covered college football for nearly four decades, from 2002-2021 as a senior writer for ESPN, where he wrote for ESPN.com, appearing on television, ESPN Radio and on podcasts. He also served as Editor-at-Large for ESPN College Football 150. Prior to joining ESPN.com, Maisel covered national college football for Sports Illustrated, Newsday, and The Dallas Morning News. He has been honored eight times for Best Story by the Football Writers Association of America, and twice by The Associated Press Sports Editors, which in 2019 named him one of the 10 best sports columnists. Maisel earned a bachelor's degree in American Studies from Stanford University.

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A deeply emotional memoir by a longtime ESPN writer about the suicide of his son Max and how their complicated relationship led him to see grief as love.

Support the show (http://www.paypal.com)

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The Healing Power of Story and Reimagining Recovery with Of Substance Founder, Alex Kaplan

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What if...we turned immersive entertainment into our greatest tool for healing and growth? This is the question that drives Alex Kaplan every day, and what led him to form the non-profit Of Substance. By using story telling in the form of mini movies to deliver an immersive experience that heals through depicting addiction- the struggle and triumph- around it
Alex shares with The Two Jess(es) his journey of addiction, and how he has used his passion for movie making and his commitment to vulnerability to propel him forward and turn his mess into his message. His belief is that we have ALL felt that we are not good enough, we all deal with the experiences of embarrassment, shame and unworthiness and the answer is connection and belonging.
Meet Alex!
Alex Kaplan, a Philadelphia native and LA transplant, was trained as an actor in the University of Miami’s conservatory and transitioned to a career behind the camera as a producer and director for the past decade.
Today, Alex is the Co-founder & Executive Director of Of Substance, an innovative non-profit revolutionizing addiction and mental health treatment, education, and support, using premium entertaining short films as a tool for deeper healing, growth, and transformation.
After surviving his own battles with addiction, Alex recognized the power of story as a tool in his recovery and found an exciting way to use his filmmaking experience to help others on their paths of overcoming struggles of shame & isolation.
The biggest thing he learned on his journey is that his issue was far less about using substances than it was about WHY he used substances; It was about shame, isolation, a fear of not belonging, and a fear of not being good enough.
Alex and his co-founder Brian Gallagher built Of Substance to help us all recognize that we’re not alone in these feelings and to positively transform people's relationships with themselves, others, and their beliefs in what's possible.
Most importantly, Alex is now a proud husband, supportive member of his family, and a friend on whom others can lean, having risen from his struggles with addiction and refusing to give up.

Of Substance.

Of Substance is a nonprofit revolutionizing addiction, mental health, and suicide prevention, education, treatment, and support thought movies!

We make premium entertaining short films, mini-movies you really like watching, that tackle all of our struggles in a way that helps us overcome the shame, blame, and stigma we all experience, reminding us that we're not crazy, we're not alone, and we're already doing great!

We're turning movies into an approachable and captivating tool for transformation, that expedites and enhances the journey through healing and growth.

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Why Being OKAY is the Heart of Authentic Resiliency with Psychologist, Author and Resiliency Expert, Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe

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Dr. Robyn Hanley-Dafoe joins The Two Jess(es) for an authentic and vulnerable conversation about survival, and how equipped we as human beings are, to do hard things. Robyne did one of the hardest things she will ever have to do, and kicked her way out of a sinking car in the middle of a frozen lake during a blizzard outside of Ontario, Canada when she was 16 years old.
It was in those final moments that Dr. Robyne decided life was worth fighting for, and it changed the trajectory of her life, laying the groundwork for her research around resiliency and why people really can do hard things. Her Five Pillars of Every Day Resiliency help us frame the way we can show up in the world as authentic to ourselves and each other with intention to make the best decision we can in the moment, even if it is hard.
Meet Dr. Robyne:
Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe is a multi-award-winning psychology and education instructor who specializes in resiliency, navigating stress and change, leadership, and personal wellness in the workplace. Described as transformational, engaging, and thought-provoking, Robyne’s keynotes provide practical strategies grounded in global research and case studies that help foster resiliency within others and ourselves. Robyne is available for consultation, training and professional development opportunities ranging from one-to-one to company-wide initiatives.
https://robynehd.ca/

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