S3E2: People-pleasing abroad: maintaining identity admidst cultural adaptation

03/05/24 • 21 min

We are here, too - on mental health abroad

In today's episode, I talk about people pleasing when living abroad and how it may take
on the role of integrating us into the new country.
Transitioning to life in a new country comes with its own emotional rollercoaster, a journey that many of us know all too well. This episode addresses the fine line between adapting and losing oneself. With heartfelt stories and practical advice, today's episode is a message of hope for those balancing the desire to please with the courage to stand firm in one's own story.
And for those interested in Gabor Maté's quote, it was taken from "The myth of normal": “Most people abandon their true selves (authenticity) to please others and keep the relationships (attachments), even if they are ones that are toxic and destructive.”"

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We are here, too is a podcast about mental health and life abroad, hosted by Francesca Lo Verso, an Italian counsellor living in Scotland.
We are here, too exists thanks to the support of friends, family and those of you whose testimony of life abroad inspired me. Thank you!
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Host and editor: Francesca Lo Verso
www.francescacounselling.com
IG: @francesca_counselling
FB: francescaloversocounselling
Email: [email protected]
Cover illustration: Candela Sánchez
www.candelasanchezart.comIG: @delasre_draws
Music: Su San
TikTok: susanwithaspace
Spotify: Su San

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Previous Episode

S3E1: Finding the self between borders

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Emerging from a long hiatus, I, Francesca, return to the microphone with a tale that resonates deep within the heart of anyone who's ever found themselves rooted in foreign soil. This episode peels back the layers of identity shaped by the lands we call home and the internal tug-of-war between assimilation and authenticity.
This conversation is a gentle nudge to embrace the richness of our heritage and the unique stories it weaves into our lives. It's about finding strength in our foreignness, allowing the cultural friction to propel us toward growth rather than erode our sense of self. Join me as we tenderly nurture our foreign identities and celebrate the diversity they bring to the tapestry of life.
Two questions lie behind it all: how much of me am I willing to sacrifice to adapt? For how long am I going to hide the pain behind the quest for adaptation?
If you want to hear more about this topic:
S1E3: Lost and found, in search of self

Next Episode

S3E3: The somatics of guilt abroad: a body-based perspective on guilt

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Edit: I've just realised I opened this episode saying, "In Season 4 Episode 1", when I actually meant "Season 1 Episode 4".
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Have you ever felt the weight of guilt gnawing at you physically while living miles away from home?
This episode peels back the layers to reveal how guilt triggers neural networks, stirs muscle tension, disrupts our digestive and respiratory systems, and hijacks our emotional well-being. You'll discover the science behind these physical reactions and understand why your body might respond with fight, flight, freeze, or fawn strategies when guilt's grip tightens.
If you want to read more about the somatics of guilt, you may find this scientific article interesting.
Previous episodes on guilt:
S1E4: Why am I feeling this guilty?
S2E2: Holiday guilt trip

We are here, too - on mental health abroad - S3E2: People-pleasing abroad: maintaining identity admidst cultural adaptation

Transcript

Francesca00:00:06.387

Hello and welcome to today's episode of we are here To podcast about mental health and life abroad . I am your host , francesca . I'm an Italian counsellor living in Scotland , and today we are going to talk about a hot topic People please in . You got it right , so stay tuned , it's going to be juicy .

Francesca00:00:38.939

I think it's important to talk