We are Childfree

For 20 years, Dr Kate Tomas has worked with badass women and non-binary people to radically improve every element of their lives. In this open and empowering conversation, Kate shares professional insights and her own journey, from trying to get pregnant to living her best, ethically non-monogamous, childfree life.

Content warning: brief discussions of childhood abuse, infertility and abortion.

Follow Kate on Instagram at @katetomasphd

This episode is from the best of season 1 of We are Childfree. Sign up to the newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 launches 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter

Keltie Maguire is a clarity coach who's originally from Canada and now lives in Germany. It's only in the last six months, as she nears her 40th birthday, that Keltie's reached a 95% confidence in her choice to embrace a life without children. That last 5% is super important, because Keltie isn't someone to fully close the door on any possibility, preferring to live the most dynamic life possible. You'll hear about how for Keltie, like so many of us, the desire to be a mother simply never arrived, and how she found her way through this ambivalence, towards a joyful, fulfilling life. This one's a must-listen if you aren't sure whether you want children or not, as Keltie and I swap strategies for finding clarity and feeling comfortable with the life path you're currently on.

Find out more about Keltie at keltiemaguire.com and check out The Clarity Podcast wherever you get podcasts.

Listen to the We are Childfree episode with 78-year-old childfree trailblazer Marcia Drut-Davis, and my interviews with other older women role models Barbara Krulik and Shelley.

The books we talked about in this episode are The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life by Merle Bombardieri, and Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life by Luke Burgis.

In Donna Freitas' new novel, The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano, the eponymous heroine faces a dilemma. Before she got married, her husband promised her he didn't want children - but now he's changed his mind. Could happily childfree Rose will herself to become a mother in order to save her relationship, and if so, what might her life look like? Author Freitas found herself in this very scenario in her real life, and it made her question everything - her lack of a maternal instinct, her worth as a woman, what kind of future she could hope for, without children - or her husband - in it. It was so enlightening to speak to someone who's looked at the childfree choice from every possible angle, as a scholar of religion and gender studies, and the author of a Sliding Doors-style plot that dares to ask: what if...?

Learn more about Donna at donnafreitas.com and follow her on Instagram at @donnafreitas.writer. If you're childfree and would like to be interviewed by Donna for an upcoming project, contact her on [email protected].

You can buy The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano in the US on bookshop.org, in the UK at Waterstones and in Italian at Mondadori (with more languages on the way!)

We are Childfree was just named Childfree Group of the Year!

Find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

Barbara Krulik has lived a life! An independent curator and cultural manager, she came of age in New York, where like-minded creatives formed the core of a chosen family that has been there for her through to her 60s, and now spans four generations. In her early 20s, she decided she didn't want children, and has pursued a life of "solo polyamory" ever since, living alone but loving to spoil and nurture her friends and lovers. It was fascinating to hear what drove Barbara to avoid entanglements, all the places her work has taken her, and to learn about a social housing project being developed in the Netherlands, so that unrelated people from different generations can create a caring home together. Barbara is living proof that you don't need a partner, or children, to be fulfilled - a true inspiration.

Listen to Zoë guest on the Private Parts Unknown podcast, to hear her own childfree journey and what drove her to start We are Childfree.

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com
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“We both wanted kids but I’ve changed my mind - how do we talk about this?”

The childfree community shares their advice and experiences with someone who’s found herself on the other side of the “kids fence” as her husband. Find out what men think about fatherhood, how to help your partner understand your side of things, and how to work to create a life that’s right for the both of you 🫶

If you have a problem you'd like the community's help with, email [email protected] with "Ask WAC" as the subject line.

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Nikki Glaser: Someday You’ll Die

The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life by Merle Bombardieri