015 When Your Kid Has Pink Hair

What do you do when your teenager decides to dye her hair pink? My daughter did this recently. And, in true teenagery fashion, she couldn’t just do it on any ole day. No, no. It had to be on the first day of school, thus nearly causing a conniption fit between her and my wife who is not only Mom, but also a professional photographer. Blessedly, my wife eventually came to grips with the fact that her 1st Day of School 2014 picture was going to include a kid with pink hair and she chose to be okay with it.

Dad (that’s me) was not as quick to embrace the horror. I mean, IT’S PINK HAIR FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! What’s next?! Tattoos, piercings, and a trip to the Emergency Room to welcome my new grandchild?

Laugh all you want. I know you’re laughing because YOU have felt the same way. It may not have been pink hair. Maybe it was a skirt, a t-shirt, a pair of shoes, or some other clothing choice. Maybe it was makeup (MAKEUP?! NEVER!!! MY CHILD IS NOT WEARING MAKEUP!) Yes, I hear you.

Well, I didn’t freak out. Just as an aside though, have you noticed that teenagerism confuses language? Everything is wonderful, they love you and think you’re the greatest. Then, they hit 13. And suddenly, everything you say is mean and accusatory to them.

ME: Hey, Cool shirt.

TEENAGER: I did not!

ME: Um, what?

TEENAGER: Ugh... (rolls eyes) You’re always saying stuff like that.

You just want to say, “Look, I get it. The hormones are raging and your body is changing and everything feels suddenly really intense. But, I have to be able to say something to you without you getting offended. I love you and I’m on your side, OK?”

TEENAGER: No! It’s not ok! How could you say that?! You just don’t understand! (bursts into tears and stomps off to her room)

So, what do you do?

Well, keep on loving them and keep on telling them. That’s first and foremost. They may tell you to go away, but they mean stay close. They may say, “Leave me alone!” but they mean, “Don’t leave – ever.” They may lose their temper (and here’s the kicker for me), but they desperately want us not to lose it with them. They need us to stay calm and loving. Firm and true, but steady. Everything else is changing in their world. They need you to be constant. That’s one of the many reasons divorce stinks so bad. Sometimes Mom and Dad being together is the only thing they can count on to bring stability to the crazy life of a teenager. If we split, their whole foundation collapses.

So, as you keep calm and keep on loving them, choose your battles carefully. Decide ahead of time which fights are worth dying for. For me, pink hair isn’t one of them. Unless one of my boys decides he wants pink hair. Then, we’ll need to talk.

http://www.homeschoolnewstoday.com

http://thinkprogress.org/education/2014/09/10/3478528/homeschool-child-abuse/

http://thewiredhomeschool.com