Unsocialized: The Homeschool Podcast with Scott Moore

Are you just starting out on this homeschooling journey? Here are 10 things I wish I’d known when I was a new homeschooling dad:

1. We can do this.
2. Our kids will be different – and that’s good!
3. It’s not about getting them into Harvard.
4. My wife is going to need cheerleading. And lots of help.
5. Scratch number 4. These are my kids, too. My wife doesn’t just need help. We are homeschooling. It’s not her job to homeschool the kids.
6. The house is never going to be clean. Maybe when the kids are grown. But then I’ll be sad.
7. This is going to be expensive, but worth it.
8. Our parents, friends, relatives, etc., may or may not understand or support what we’re doing. In fact, they may actively oppose what we’re doing.
9. We’re going to feel like quitting. Don’t!
10. I love my kids!!!

What do you think?

On today’s episode, a listener asks:

I just listened to your latest “Unsocialized” podcast where you discussed how difficult homeschooling is. You also referenced an article about things homeschooling will not necessarily prevent. I agree with you completely. However, your kids seem to be fully on board with homeschooling, making your difficulties bearable. What about kids like mine who hate homeschooling–and I do mean HATE? My 13-year-old son doesn’t care that public school is terrible and private school is outrageously expensive (and filled with several who were kicked out of public school); he is only concerned with not being different from all his friends. I can easily see him rebelling if we continue to homeschool, and I can also see him being part of the wrong crowd if he were to go to public school. Any thoughts?

What do you think?

I said: Thank you for your question. That’s a tough situation. I’m just a dad trying to figure this stuff out myself, but I’m happy to share my thoughts. The first thing I would do is pray, asking Jesus what He thinks we should do. If you get a clear answer, go with that.

Now for my thoughts. It’s really hard when your kids see homeschooling as optional. I mean, when I was a kid, I hated school, but I went because I didn’t have a choice. If I couldn’t see a better way to handle this and I really didn’t see public or private school as options, I would tell my son (not in these words) to, “suck it up and deal. You don’t have a choice. It’s our job as your parents to raise you the best way we can and this is our decision. Now, we love you and we don’t want you to be miserable. How can we find a way to work together to make homeschooling better?”

Now, I realize that’s probably the toughest way to go and not likely to produce the happiest response. I assume you’ve laid a strong foundation of love and trust with your son. Without it, the ‘suck it up and deal’ approach will almost certainly backfire. Even with a firm foundation of love and trust, it’s a hard sell. Are there any options you may not have thought of? For instance, is it just that he wants to be in school or is he an extrovert that needs to be around people? Perhaps a homeschool co-op or other groups would provide enough social interaction. If there isn’t a co-op near you, you could consider starting one. Since he’s 13, he may be ready to take a more active role in his life. Even if you don’t really give him any authority or power, it may help if he feels that he’s involved in the process of deciding what to do. I would definitely try to talk through it with him and see if we could come to a solution together first. Maybe there’s another option besides the way it’s been or school. Don’t be afraid to get creative. I’d try everything possible before I either put him in school or tried the ‘suck it up and deal’ approach.

Have you tried throwing out the curriculum you’re using and looking for a new strategy for home education? Maybe a change of style would be enough of a difference without dumping homeschooling altogether.

Another idea would be to try public school for a semester. He may decide he hates it pretty quickly. On the other hand, it may turn out to be a better option than you had thought (There are days I’d really like to stick my kids on the bus and have some time to myself ;). I personally tend to demonize all public schools, but they’re not all evil.

I’m not sure I’m helping much. As you already knew, this is your decision. If it were me, I’d be agonizing over how to guard his heart in this process without letting him take advantage of and manipulate me. I’d also be looking for options we hadn’t considered yet. Does that help at all?

Education Secretary King: Homeschoolers Have Limited Options

“No one said it would be easy, but no one said it’d be this hard.” – Sheryl Crow

Don’t get me wrong. I expect it to be hard. There are just some days, some months, heck even some years, when I feel like I’m in a battle — and I’m losing. Between the bills piling up, the family members falling apart, the friendships that seem more like long lost acquaintances I used to know, and the dreams — mine and my kids’ — that seem so far away or dashed altogether, well... It’s just hard.

Even as I write this, I feel — something, hope perhaps, something urging me to not give up, to remember the good things, to hold firmly to the belief that I’m making the right decisions for my family. Maybe it’s more accurate to say the hope that I’ve made the right decisions for my family. I can’t very well go back and correct them now if they were wrong. My oldest child is entering her senior year – homeschooled since Kindergarten. I’m more aware than ever of the ‘against the grain, swim against the tide’ nature of the decision to home educate my kids. It’s good! I believe it’s good. But, it’s easier, 12 years into this, to see some of the choke points, some of the rough spots in my parenting and in our homeschooling.

And so I force myself to remember that this isn’t about producing the most popular kids in their neighborhood peer group. It’s not about competing with students their age on standardized tests. It’s not about giving my children what we call opportunities but what amounts to frantically busy lives with little time left to be children. It’s not about making stars. It is about making a loving home where the kids feel secure in their parents’ love and the friendship of their siblings who always have their back. It sometimes seems like they don’t have as many or as deep of friendships in the groups their in because they don’t. They have a family instead of a peer group. We didn’t want them raised by the schools. We didn’t want them to adopt the values of the other kids in the neighborhood or whatever random kids they sat next to in Study Hall. We wanted to raise them in a different way than we were raised.

No one said it would be easy.

It reminds me of Mr. Beaver’s description of Aslan in C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, when Lucy asks if Aslan is safe:

“Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.”

So, we press on toward the goal... (Philippians 3:14)

It’s a little late, but Merry Christmas! And Happy New Year!

The holidays were a little crazy at my house, but like the Whos down in Whoville, Christmas came. And it was awesome.

Now, I’m a little stressed because I have a high school junior who keeps changing her mind.

Can I get an ‘Amen’?

“I wonder what they do teach them at these schools.” – Professor Kirke, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

“There’s not much good singing unless you’ve got something good to sing about.” – Amy Grant

“Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.” – C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

What you are teaching your children, as simple as it sounds, matters. It’s not just about being with them, though that is enormously important. If I don’t teach my children how to have a relationship with God, then what is the point of homeschooling?

I wanted to share this as a reminder to all of us, in the craziness of getting ready for another school year, to stop. To thank God for the blessings He has given us in our children. Whether you homeschool or do some other type of education for your kids, we all love our kids and want to see them succeed. As cliched as it sounds, it does go by fast. So, treasure this time. Treasure your children. They are a gift.

Police Arrest Student for Shooting a Fictional Dinosaur by Jordan Richardson at dailysignal.com