21. Eric Berne on Games People Play

In this episode we unpack Canadian psychiatrist and analyst Eric Berne's 1964 book "Games People Play."

This book explores...

• The 6 different types of social interactions
• The most common games people play
• What intimacy is and why it is so rare

Links to Reading

Games People Play by Eric Berne

*note* reading is not required to enjoy this episode!

Host: Zach Stehura UnpackingIdeas.com

Guest: Sonya @selfhelpsonya on TikTok & Instagram

Theme Music: Polyenso

Timestamps

00:00:00 Intro

00:04:04 The 6 Types of Interactions

00:05:59 Withdrawal

00:08:09 Procedures

00:10:13 Rituals

00:11:39 Emotional Stroking

00:14:28 Calculating how many strokes to give

00:19:21 Pastimes/Small-talk

00:20:06 Types of Small-talk

00:21:08 How a host determines the pastimes people play at a party

00:24:08 The rules for small-talk

00:27:16 Why we engage in small-talk

00:28:38 The 3 Ego States

00:29:25 The Parent Ego State

00:29:45 The Child Ego State

00:30:18 The Adult Ego State

00:31:32 Complementary Transactions

00:33:31 Crossed Transactions

00:36:00 Child-Child Transaction

00:38:04 Adult-Adult Transaction

00:38:39 The 2 Levels of of an interaction (social level & psychological level)

00:39:05 Superficial Transactions

00:39:32 Ulterior Transactions

00:39:46 Flirtatious Games

00:42:32 A Thesaurus of Games

00:42:36 "Look Ma, No Hands!"

00:47:32 "Now I've got You, You Son-of-a-Bitch!"

00:52:55 "Why Don't You, Yes But..."

00:55:25 Intimacy

00:56:00 The Uncorrupted Child

00:57:39 Operations ie. stating a need directly

01:00:36 Why most people settle for games

01:01:53 Closing Thoughts

01:03:34 Outro