
Difficult Emotions, Soul vs. Personality, Generational Trauma
Explicit content warning
12/17/21 • 66 min
We live in a culture of "positive" and "negative" emotions, which really comes down to emotions that we're uncomfortable feeling/seeing, and ones we're comfortable with. In this episode, we unpack this framework.
- There are certain situations where certain emotions are deemed appropriate or inappropriate. But why? People's comfort. Why are they uncomfortable with some emotions? Because they weren't taught to deal with those emotions themselves.
- Parenting - when it's hard for us to deal with our kids' expression of "difficult" emotions, we do well to check our "why's." Do we want to shut down their behaviors just because our parents shut down those behaviors in us? Give them "good" ways to communicate and articulate their interiors, rather than shut down the "bad" ways they default to.
Do you emotions define you?
- Who is the "you" in question? Your soul/essential self, or your constructed personality?
- What is your personality?
- A conglomeration of the life lessons you came here to learn?
- A mask you created to cope with your childhood dynamics?
- What do you do once you've identified the nature of your personality?
- You can have a fixed mindset: "This is who I am, and it's who everyone should expect me to be from her on out."
- You can have a growth mindset: "This is a reflection of my story thus far, but doesn't define the story I have yet to write."
- How do you cultivate personality growth?
- Ryan constantly checks himself in the background and examines patterns when he notices them.
- Abby has an intentional monthly check-in practice.
Moving from victimhood to empowerment
- Self compassion is a prerequisite to self forgiveness.
- Forgiving yourself is a prerequisite to forgiving others.
- Forgiving those in your past is a prerequisite to breaking the cycle in the future.
- Forgiving your parents keeps you from repeating their patterns.
Also, we're all connected. The past several generations of trauma are on our shoulders.
TIMECODES:
4:21 - Question of the episode
14:05 - Emotional expression and parenting
20:24 - Do your emotions define you?
29:01 - What to do with your personality type
34:46 - Shifting from victimhood to empowerment
43:33 - Generational trauma
GRATITUDES:
- Abby is grateful for the people in her life who reminder her how to be.
- Ryan is grateful for a rock he found in a graveyard.
MODEETS:
- Join our tribe at patreon.com/truenorth11
- Get life coaching from Abby at IndigoCoaching.net
- Catch Ryan on TikTok at @the_holistic_mystic
- Watch us at TinyURL.com/TrueNorth11YouTube
- Email us at [email protected]
- Stalk us at truenorth11.com
🛳⛴🚢🛥🚤⛵️🚣♀️
We live in a culture of "positive" and "negative" emotions, which really comes down to emotions that we're uncomfortable feeling/seeing, and ones we're comfortable with. In this episode, we unpack this framework.
- There are certain situations where certain emotions are deemed appropriate or inappropriate. But why? People's comfort. Why are they uncomfortable with some emotions? Because they weren't taught to deal with those emotions themselves.
- Parenting - when it's hard for us to deal with our kids' expression of "difficult" emotions, we do well to check our "why's." Do we want to shut down their behaviors just because our parents shut down those behaviors in us? Give them "good" ways to communicate and articulate their interiors, rather than shut down the "bad" ways they default to.
Do you emotions define you?
- Who is the "you" in question? Your soul/essential self, or your constructed personality?
- What is your personality?
- A conglomeration of the life lessons you came here to learn?
- A mask you created to cope with your childhood dynamics?
- What do you do once you've identified the nature of your personality?
- You can have a fixed mindset: "This is who I am, and it's who everyone should expect me to be from her on out."
- You can have a growth mindset: "This is a reflection of my story thus far, but doesn't define the story I have yet to write."
- How do you cultivate personality growth?
- Ryan constantly checks himself in the background and examines patterns when he notices them.
- Abby has an intentional monthly check-in practice.
Moving from victimhood to empowerment
- Self compassion is a prerequisite to self forgiveness.
- Forgiving yourself is a prerequisite to forgiving others.
- Forgiving those in your past is a prerequisite to breaking the cycle in the future.
- Forgiving your parents keeps you from repeating their patterns.
Also, we're all connected. The past several generations of trauma are on our shoulders.
TIMECODES:
4:21 - Question of the episode
14:05 - Emotional expression and parenting
20:24 - Do your emotions define you?
29:01 - What to do with your personality type
34:46 - Shifting from victimhood to empowerment
43:33 - Generational trauma
GRATITUDES:
- Abby is grateful for the people in her life who reminder her how to be.
- Ryan is grateful for a rock he found in a graveyard.
MODEETS:
- Join our tribe at patreon.com/truenorth11
- Get life coaching from Abby at IndigoCoaching.net
- Catch Ryan on TikTok at @the_holistic_mystic
- Watch us at TinyURL.com/TrueNorth11YouTube
- Email us at [email protected]
- Stalk us at truenorth11.com
🛳⛴🚢🛥🚤⛵️🚣♀️
Previous Episode

Abby & Ryan Get True Northy
Abby brings the questions and we ruminate on True Northy stuff.
"Forgive and forget" needs to be replaced by "Forgive and set boundaries." It's less catchy but man does it work better.
"An eye for an eye" (e.g. death penalty for murderers) is a terrible way to handle wrongdoing.
"My job in the life of those I love is to make it safe for them to find their own way, without any undue pressure from anyone - including me." -Ryan's Uncle
"Insist on yourself." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"All your time is free time; you're always free to do what you please. Sometimes, what pleases you most is fulfilling your commitments or taking care of others." - Ryan's Spirit Guide
What's something from today you'd like to take into tomorrow? That's what you're grateful for.
TIME CODES:
3:13 - Which is more important: Actions or Intentions?
6:11 - Which is more important: Justice (accountability & boundaries) or Forgiveness?
21:14 - Kellsterrrrrrr heard "Bowser"
21:39 - Can empathy be taught?
50:50 - Who is your Wayfinder?
GRATITUDES:
- Ryan is grateful that he burned his hand with 400-degree bacon grease.
- Abby is grateful that she's able to teach educators about the true power of gratitude.
MODEETS:
- Join our tribe at patreon.com/truenorth11
- Get life coaching from Abby at IndigoCoaching.net
- Catch Ryan on TikTok at @the_holistic_mystic
- Watch us at TinyURL.com/TrueNorth11YouTube
- Email us at [email protected]
- Stalk us at truenorth11.com
🎒⛵️🎩🧜♀️ 🦜
Next Episode

Abby & Ryan Talk About God
Before people can talk about God, they need to define what they mean by the word "God."
According to the Tao Te Ching, as soon as you define God, you're no longer defining all of what God is.
So, all we can do is question and riff. That's what we do in this episode.
Key topics:
- Can we know what God is?
- Can we separate God from religion?
- What is God without religion?
- What is religion without God?
- Experiencing God vs. Believing in God
More topics:
- The tolerance paradox (re: preaching tolerance while not tolerating intolerance)
- How our belief in God helps or hinders our ability to be our best selves
- Some people are their best selves when they believe in God
- Some people are their worst selves because of their belief in God
- The other beliefs we attach to God (afterlife, sin/ethics, our purpose)
- If you believe God is a male, you believe gender is a matter of identity and not biology
- If you believe in hell and love people, you'll evangelize to literally everyone
- The need for systemic reform
Ryan's favorite quote about God:
“As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clearheaded science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about the atoms this much: There is no matter as such! All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particles of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. . . . We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent Mind. This Mind is the matrix of all matter.”
-Max Planck
Quote about scripture vs. experience:
"When the bird and the book disagree, trust the bird."
-James Audubon
Abby & Ryan land on the idea that we are all different fingers on the same hand, and what we call "God" is the palm. Or, we are all different branches on the tree, and what we call "God" is the trunk.
GRATITUDES:
- Ryan is grateful that he's developed the tools to process the hard lessons he's learning right now.
- Abby is grateful for her Methodist upbringing.
MODEETS:
- Join our tribe at patreon.com/truenorth11
- Get life coaching from Abby at IndigoCoaching.net
- Catch Ryan on TikTok at @the_holistic_mystic
- Watch us at TinyURL.com/TrueNorth11YouTube
- Email us at [email protected]
- Stalk us at truenorth11.com
👄🤦♂️👖😬🥔🎵🤷♀️
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