Jackie’s Grandparents’ Unconditional Love

11/02/21 • 48 min

Today’s episode is very special; we have the pleasure of welcoming my parents and Jackie's grandparents, Kath and Bill, to the podcast. As the holiday season is drawing near, we thought it made sense to talk about our experience navigating Jackie's transition as a family, and more specifically, from my parents' standpoint. Although my parents were young in the '60s, and they were, as they call themselves, “weekend hippies,” they weren’t exposed to much information about transgender people until recently. So we thought it would be fascinating to hear about what it was like for them when their granddaughter Jackie, who they’ve always been very close to, came out as a transgender woman at 19.

In this episode, we get to hear about the experiences my mother, a retired nurse, and my father, a successful business owner, had throughout Jackie's transition. We reflect back on what they thought and felt on the day Jackie came out and explore what they’ve learned since then.

We also discuss the difficulties that people, especially from older generations, often have as they try to understand a family member's transition. We talk about the power of acceptance as a first step and the importance of committing to a deeper level of support by becoming a true ally over time.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Kath and Bill's reaction when they found out what Jackie was going through (4:29)
Jackie's transition united the family. Bill and Kath evolving from being accepting grandparents to becoming allies (10:15)
Avoiding the use of the word "grief" when referring to dealing with a person's transition (17:38)
At some point, people have to choose between losing a relative or coming around to fully support that relative's transition (22:49)
Don't f*ck it up! Transgender people are not obligated to bring relatives who hurt them back into their lives (31:28)
The hardest part for transgender people is to accept that they are trans, which is known as “coming in” (32:50)

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Kath and Bill's reaction when they found out what Jackie was going through (4:29)
Jackie's transition united the family. Bill and Kath evolving from being accepting grandparents to becoming allies (10:15)
Avoiding the use of the word "grief" when referring to dealing with a person's transition (17:38)
At some point, people have to choose between losing a relative or coming around to fully support that relative's transition (22:49)
Don't f*ck it up! Transgender people are not obligated to bring relatives who hurt them back into their lives (31:28)
The hardest part for transgender people is to accept that they are trans, which is known as “coming in” (32:50)

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

The Phluid Project with Founder and CEO Rob Smith

After spending over 30 years leading multi-billion-dollar brands in the fashion industry, and despite his tremendous success, Rob Smith felt he wasn't doing what he was supposed to do. During the day, he was a successful designer in corporate America, and at night, he would work with the LGBTQIA+ youth community. Rob found the answer he was looking for after a shamanic experience, an epiphany during a trip to Peru. That day Rob knew he had to create a gender-free, non-binary shopping environment, which would be the first of many steps to creating The Phluid Project.

Rob Smith is a Futurist, Activist, Educator, Retailer, Entrepreneur, Community Builder, Speaker, and the Founder and CEO of The Phluid Project. After his trip to Peru, Rob reconnected with his heritage as a third-generation Native American from the Ojibwa tribe, which inspired him to merge his 30 plus years of experience in fashion with decades of fighting for human rights and social equality.

In this episode, we talk about Rob's extraordinary journey that led to creating The Phluid Project, a space that today is a little about selling shirts and a lot about educating, adding value, and advocating for the LGBTQIA+ community. We explore Rob's vision, ideas for the future, and his view on the best way to be allies of underrepresented communities. We also talk about how interesting it would be to eliminate gender from language, especially in the workplace, where formalities can lead to misgendering gender-nonconforming folks.

Some Questions We Ask:

Could you tell us more about you and about The Phluid Project, please? (6:34)
Can you talk about how the initial vision of creating a physical space collided with COVID and what you had to do to pivot? (11:25)
What is your bigger vision? What world do you see that's possible if we all get to work in human rights and social equality? (18:25)
Your company is an excellent example of prioritizing the mission over the profit. And how do you feel it's best to operate in those spaces? (30:38)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Education is a massive part of being an advocate (10:43)
About Rob's experience with Ayahuasca and the revelation that would give new meaning to his life (15:09)
The Phluid Project is more about education than about selling products (29:12)
About Rob's policy of picking The Phluid Project partners based on their social media and vision of the world (33:49)

Resources:

The Phluid Project website
The Phluid Project Instagram
The Phluid Project Facebook
G.E.T Phluid website
G.E.T Phluid LinkedIn

Connect with Rob:

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Next Episode

Transgender Allies, Adversaries, & Everything in Between

Although most of us might have (or might think we have) a clear idea of what it means to be an ally or an adversary to transgender people, we may not be aware of all the specific choices that can make a huge difference. What might cause someone to be seen as an ally by a trans person? What might cause someone to be seen as an adversary by a trans person? And what about all the people who fall somewhere in between, despite the fact that they may believe that they’re coming from a place of love and support for transgender people?

We attempted to answer the questions above, from our perspective, because though the differences can be subtle, they’re deeply meaningful.

Today's episode is about clearing up some misconceptions about what it means to be an ally, to not be an ally, and to be an adversary. We go through what is expected from allies when interacting with trans people and even more important, how to be an ally even when a transgender person is not present. We discuss the importance of going beyond superficial performative actions and actually demonstrating true allyship, even when it’s uncomfortable and difficult.

We delve into how actively advocating against the transgender community, even if it is only behind a keyboard, validates and encourages continued hate and violence against transgender people. In addition, we share a brief sample of the content we’ve created for our Transgender Allyship 101 course, which you can rent now for only $10.00 at https://vimeo.com/ondemand/transally.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

What it means to be an ally, and why getting out of the comfort zone is an essential part of it (9:23)
Not allies, the space most cisgender people live in (13:14)
About the relationship between mean comments online and physical hate crimes against transgender people (18:18)
The ALLY acronym (22:51)
Shut up, listen, and find yourself a therapist (26:48)

Resources: