TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

We’ve talked a lot about advocating for our children on the show, but today, we are adding the additional consideration of race to the conversation, because we know that families raising differently-wired kids of color experience additional roadblocks when it comes to getting support in all kinds of environments, fostering empowering neurodivergent identities and much more. My guests for this rich conversation are Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral, authors of the brand new book Parenting at the Intersections: Raising Neurodivergent Children of Color.

They came to this big through their lived experience as neurodivergent moms raising neurodivergent kids in this intersection of race, identity, and disability. Jaya is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in supporting BIPOC neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. And Priya is a play therapist and a parenting coach specializing in the emotional well-being of neurodivergent children and parents.

Parenting at the Intersections is a wonderful book, and I did my best to explore some of the concepts they thoughtfully write about, including how parenting at the intersections involves navigating multiple marginalized identities and systems of oppression, why identity development is a complex process for children at the intersections, how parents can create conditions for their kids to be seen and respected, and the ways in which advocating for kids in the education system requires awareness of rights, documentation, and support from organizations and advocates.

About Jaya Ramesh

Jaya Ramesh, MA LMHC, is a psychotherapist in private practice in the greater Seattle area, specializing in supporting BIPOC neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. She also supports organizations in creating an anti-racist culture in the workplace.

About Priya Saaral

Priya Saaral, MSW, LICSW, RPT-S is a neurodivergent mama, a play therapist, and a parenting coach in the Greater Seattle area, specializing in the emotional well-being of neurodivergent children and parents by helping them reconnect to their playful spirit amidst personal and structural adversity

Things you'll learn:

• How parenting at the intersections involves navigating multiple marginalized identities and systems of oppression
• Why identity development is a complex process for children at the intersections, and how parents can create conditions for their kids to be seen and respected
• The ways in which advocating for kids in the education system requires awareness of rights, documentation, and support from organizations and advocates.
• How unschooling can be a form of resistance in the context of raising neurodivergent children of color.
• How parents who aren't raising children of color can still benefit from learning about the experiences and challenges faced by these families.
• Why community support is crucial in mitigating the loneliness and providing understanding for parents raising neurodivergent children of color.

Resources mentioned:

• Parenting at the Intersections: Raising Neurodivergent Children of Color by Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral
• Website for Parenting at the Intersections
• Parenting at the Intersections on Instagram
• Jaya on Instagram
• Priya on Instagram
• Jaya on Linkedin
• Cheryl Poe and Advocating 4Kids
• Akilah Richards on Unschooling and Raising Free People (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards

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In this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I’m bringing back a previous guest, executive functioning coach Seth Perler, for a two-part series in which Seth shares with us the exact approach he uses with students he works with when helping them foster their fledgling executive functioning skills.

I first had Seth on the show last fall, where he gave us an introduction to executive functioning, but we didn’t get to the more practical strategies that I know so many of us are looking for. So I asked Seth to come back on, and that conversation turned into an hour-and-a-half long sharing by Seth of truly valuable tips and strategies and insights. Because Seth shares so very much over the course of these ninety or so minutes, I wanted to split our conversation into two parts. So this episode is part one of what I’m now referring to as a “Masterclass in Executive Functioning.” In this episode, Seth shares with us his protocol for setting up a child for success in their developing executive functioning skills. In part 2 next week, Seth will go in-depth into his specific strategies surrounding building these skills in school and in life.

Seth Perler is a renegade teacher turned Executive Function Coach/Education Coach who is based in Santa Monica, CA and Boulder, CO. He helps struggling students navigate a crazy educational landscape and does his part to “disrupt” and improve education. Seth specializes in Executive Function and 2e. Find out more at sethperler.com.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Seth’s definition of executive functioning framed so it helps people apply the principles to help kids
• A step-by-step breakdown of exactly how Seth works with families
• Why our relationship with our child is the number one thing to be preserved when doing this work
• The importance of parents doing their own personal work / self-care during this process
• Why kids “can’t do what we’re asking them to do because they can’t, not because they won’t,” so we need to back up and scaffold from where they’re at
• The role of mindfulness, mindset, and motivation
• Why symptoms are more important than labels
• Why it’s critical to understand the role of emotional regulation in executive functioning
• How we as parents can co-regulate our emotions with our child
• Why we want to focus on 3 positives for every 1 negative

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Seth Perler’s website
• A Conversation with Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler (original podcast episode)
• Seth’s Executive Functioning Assessment
• Dr. Gail Saltz Talks About the Power of Different (podcast episode)
• Carol Dweck and Mindset

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Listen to an episode of Understood.org's podcast ADHD Aha!, a podcast about ADHD. Hear the unexpected and emotional ways ADHD symptoms surface for kids and adults, and the moments when it clicks that ADHD is real.

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This week is a continuation of last week’s episode with executive functioning coach Seth Perler, which was so packed full of information (and also so long) that I had to break it up into two separate episodes, which I’m now referring to as a “masterclass” in executive functioning.

In last week’s episode, Seth shared his protocol for setting up a child for success in their developing executive functioning skills. In today’s episode, Seth is going to get into the nitty gritty about specific strategies he uses to address different executive functioning challenges that show up in school and in life.

Seth Perler is a renegade teacher turned Executive Function Coach/Education Coach who is based in Santa Monica, CA and Boulder, CO. He helps struggling students navigate a crazy educational landscape and does his part to “disrupt” and improve education. Seth specializes in Executive Function and 2e. Find out more at sethperler.com.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• What “Frankenstudy” is, and how to know where to focus your energies so you can create a “domino effect” with your child’s fledgling executive functioning skills
• How to best use “learning planners” to learn how to think / talk through their plan (and what we’re doing wrong)
• The benefits of monthly planners versus daily or weekly planners
• Helping kids identify the “MIT” – most important thing – each day
• The importance of creating a sacred study space for a child
• How to optimize an internet browser to make it easy with bookmark bars (and have tabs automatically open, including calendar, grade tab, email)
• Why it’s important to get kids to start checking grades weekly (Seth recommends Sunday nights)
• The importance of helping a child create clearly identified routines (for leaving house, doing daily plan, doing homework, etc.)
• How getting visual with kids benefits them in developing their executive functioning skills
• Why separate digital timers need to be a part of a child’s life so they can learn to calibrate time, as well as get started and do short bursts of work
• Creating a weekly overhaul of systems
• The important of kids “getting into the mode” for studying, etc: organize their space, make their plan, and executive

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Seth Perler’s website and blog
• A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 1 (podcast episode)
• A Conversation with Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler (original podcast episode)
• Seth’s Executive Functioning Assessment
• Seth Perler’s YouTube Channel

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Marriage and family therapist and author Jeremy Schneider ("Fatherhood in 40-Minute Snapshots") talks about what prevents some dads from being the father they want to be and explains how couples can strengthen their relationship.

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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