They Call Him International

***IN THIS EPISODE...*** Mike the Mic tests his mettle as the world’s best (and only) psycho-ANAL-ist by delivering International a dose of dynamic accountabilty with a swift crack of the Playhouse whip (which actually is his mic cord); International re-enacts the decisive moment in history when God’s only-begotten Son was denied lodging by Bethlehem’s only-begotten Italian innkeeper, who sentences the infant Savior to a sleepless night in a manger of donkey turds, only to turn around and miraculously find seven empty rooms, the perfect number to accommodate Tom Cruise and his all-male entourage of nude wrestlers ***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL...*** Foolishly goes against his better judgement by using a deadly, untested concoction of effervescent San Pellegrino spiked with fruity-flavored Vitality Drops to satisfy his rabid audience’s insatiable demand for more of the ever-popular, show-stopping bit where he makes sipping his beverage sound like bong rips and then nearly chokes himself to death mid-show in the misguided attempt; Talks a big game to Slave Wife with an unbridled, spontaneous invitation to join him in the bedroom and leave the podcast mic running for a savage session of love-making, then quickly backtracks upon hearing her footsteps approaching in the hallway (he’s all bark and no mic) ***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...*** Mike the Mic offers to translate the tedious (yet mysterious) gravelly utterances of Greta Thimble, but only if International succumbs to his veiled extortion threat by rendering $20 per translation to a certain Venmo account belonging to a very pushy microphone Boone gets a little too graphic while recollecting intimate moments of selflessly satisfying Trouble’s carnal needs and then carries on recklessly about wanting to do the same for Slave Wife, causing Mike the Mic to practically blow a gasket ***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...*** Realizes that mistakes are not possible on the show, because getting things wrong is what makes humans valuable and entertaining to the Divine Bravely continues to search for the synthesis between all his creations and the important work that needs to be done in the world ***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...*** Mike the Mic declares that relying on International to exist is a fate worse than death and threatens to leave until he realizes neither Fluffy nor Joe Rogaine could ever offer him the kind of connection he has with International; Ory reveals himself to be a powerhouse sleeper character, when he gives International some much-needed compassion, makes Mr Fucking Coffee misty, and (unlike a certain microphone) humbly claims his connection with Slave Wife ***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...*** Compares Core Chat forcing him to do the podcast to an owner tugging a reluctant mutt down the street, finally yanking so hard that the mongrel’s head pops completely off, scattering crusty clumps of eye-jam everywhere; Leads a rousing rally to unite all the negative people of the world, proclaiming that there’s nothing wrong with being negative, and that it’s time for them to come out of the closet, mostly because it’s totally annoying being stuck in small spaces with negative people ***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...*** When Mike the Mic claims Greta Thimble is his favorite Playhouse character, International suspiciously questions whether he might be a star you-know-what-er; The long-awaited, much anticipated Mickey D finally arrives and turns out to be an energetic blend of Steve Irwin, Bert from Mary Poppins, and a bawdy pirate from the high seas ***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...*** Is compelled to repeatedly re-start the show because every time he belches he is infused with a reinvigorating vitality that resets the incredible-meter on his podcast performance (the drops are working!); Reads a horribly un-woke article that makes him feel excluded and triggered and sends him searching for a safe space to do some adult coloring; Makes an outlandish claim that Steven Spielberg is in love with Tom Hanks and wants to have sex with him (if he hasn’t already done the deed) ***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL...*** Invites a long-time listener and co-host on other NWB podcasts to pester him with questions and help explain what the hell this show is all about; Gets interrupted by Mike the Mic when the show gets boring, but thankfully Mike holds both International and his guest accountable to getting honest with each other and sets things back on track ***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...*** Recalls the indestructible cockroaches at Harvard University that would withstand being stomped, squished, and roasted with a freebasing torch, only to scurry away unscathed; Talks about the evolution of the podcast and how the characters have taken on a life of their own ***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***