063_Miracles & MIRACLES — Living With Cancer

01/11/22 • 28 min

Today we thought we’d talk about miracles. We’ve heard that word thrown around a lot since we started living with cancer in our lives. Especially since we decided to discontinue treatment and let cancer take its natural course. There is this idea that we should fighting cancer to the bitter end, waiting for the BIG ultimate miracle — being cancer free. Like life without cancer is somehow superior or valid or more favorable, than life with cancer.
It has been interesting to note people’s reactions to mortality when it’s staring them in the face, when it’s someone you know. Like people telling us, ‘Keep fighting, don’t give up. Why are you stopping treatment? You have to keep fighting. You have to fight and you have to pray for the miracle.’
We found it interesting the use of the word miracle... Like a miracle is only a miracle when it gives you the unbelievable. When it results in something no one foresaw — where all you could do was hope and pray that this result would happen. But you have to keep praying for it because... you never know... it could happen.
And you have to battle reality to get there. This whole idea of cancer as a battle to be fought cheats you of seeing it — the way we’ve chosen to — as a dance with life when cancer is part of it.
If what life has brought us is cancer, and we resist — make a battle out of it, thinking we can force the outcome we want — we cheat ourselves from accepting, wholeheartedly, the actuality of living with cancer — embracing each step we’re guided toward, be it operations, immunotherapy, chemo — and no more treatment, and being fully present and together, sharing each moment exactly as it is.
This is what we have chosen to do, from the first moment of recognizing something was amiss, to the current acceptance that treatment is no longer viable for us — we’ve chosen to accept and love what we have, being present to the joys, frustrations, pains, awarenesses and the love we share, appreciating each moment.
That is the MIRACLE we’ve been living in!!!
Why would we waste one moment of the life we have right now, hoping for something in the future that’s going to change everything, when we’re experiencing miracles on a daily basis, of acceptance and love and joy and peace — and living LIFE!
That’s what living the yummy way is. The miracle of looking at what life gives us, like grief and change and forgiving... and looking at it with love.
The miracle is being able to look at it, put aside resentments and false personas we been carrying with us all this time, and realize ‘oh, I don’t have to carry that any more.’
Do I want to keep parceling out forgiveness, holding onto a self-righteous grudge, when I could let it go right now — and be at peace?
It just so happens that cancer is the catalyst that brought home to us, to present choice: ‘if I’m going to do this, it might as well be right now!’
This moment could be your catalyst moment, a moment of urgency to ask yourself, why am I carrying around self-righteous grudges when I could be at peace. Be honest. It might seem to feel good for a quick cheap hit of superiority. But it doesn’t really feel yummy. Or peaceful.
The miracle is choosing to shift from resentment to love. From personas to authenticity. The miracle is seeing that everything that happens, there is a way to look at it with love and appreciation. The miracle is being seeing that it couldn’t go any other way than the way its it.
And loving reality just as it is.
Thank you for joining us for another yummy conversation about living the yummy way — joyously loving each moment in reality as it is, right here, right now.
https://theyummyway.com/

Previous Episode

062_Living with Cancer

The crux of the yummy way philosophy is accepting life just exactly as it is, however it is showing up in each present moment — no matter what arises. And loving every aspect of it — because that’s what you’ve got!
It is really recognizing that it is the only way to live in equanimity with life — in the pulse of life itself. Acceptance is only way to live in peace and joy. Regardless of any particular circumstance. Even cancer. What is, is what is. Resistance to accepting it is ultimately (as the Borg would say) futile.
This brings us to the topic we’ve chosen to discuss in the upcoming series of podcasts, this one being the first. Living with cancer — the yummy way.
Lar was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer nearly three years ago. We’ve been living with cancer each moment and it has been accepting it fully as part of the dance with life we’ve been invited into, allows us to live each moment with grace. Grace that each is the whole of life. To see each moment as a miracle of life itself — grateful to be living it.
So, whatever feelings arise, we feel them as part of the dance, such as life is, when cancer comes to visit, and stays.
Part of the dance is not inching when resistance show up — the temptation to be afraid, to hope, to want it somehow be something different than it is...
These become the springboard for deep conversation, processing, and ultimately surrender of the resistance, so we can see what really is — Life doing what it’s doing, right here and now.
There is such sweetness in surrendering resistance to what is. A serene peace that we’ve found incredible by simply showing up with our truth with each other, moment by moment, day by day, week after week — living life fully through treatments, while the body breaks down, recovers a bit, and then adjusts to each new reality as cancer does what it does.
In today’s podcast, Lar shares his experience since the recent prognosis that treatment is no longer viable. The treatment had become more toxic to the body, than the cancer. That is the reality. Accepting reality as it actually is right now and making the decision to discontinue treatment, and to let cancer take its natural coarse.
For us, finding that place of acceptance brings grace to live each moment, without the wishful thinking that robs us of presence.
The whole ‘battle with cancer’ storyline is such a crock. It’s perpetuated by modern medicine and the fear of death, keeps us from presence. None of us are getting out of this gig alive. The body’s natural course leads to death.
Being authentically honest with ourselves in each moment is crucial to acceptance. Become aware of the patterns of our programming and notice how we feel when we aren’t being true to ourselves, our love, and the dignity of living authentically... to speak our truth, because that is what’s honest. Once we do, we can allow others the dignity to their response and not attach some fabricated personal responsibility to what they do with the information.
What are you living with that you are denying in part, hoping for something different than what is?
Can you pause a moment and accept what is, because it is what is?
What if this were you last day on earth? How would it change the choices you make with your time and the people in your life? It could be...
Would you be totally, honestly authentically you?
Why not make today that day?
We’re going to continue to share our conversations with each other and our experience with living with cancer in the upcoming episodes — so stay tuned.
Have a yummy day!
https://theyummyway.com/

Next Episode

064_#1 My Beta Readers Talk About My New Book — Baptized By Love: How I Found Present Joy and Never Let It Go

Keri Maughan — the overarching theme of redemption, underpinnings of reconciliation and redemption with the other characters; mother, father, children. Each character has their own redemption story. The tapestry of life is being rewoven. You systematically show us how to recognized truth. The truth within ourself — how you feel inside speaks to you about your truth.
More than a one-time read —It’s a formula for personal integrity. “Pure Love leans us toward integrity.” Show up for yourself, then you can show up for others.
Speaks to the raw ugliness of life all of living life in its depth and surrender coming into hope and reconciliation with the Divine. There is a formula to come to yourself and be whole again.
The thematic is one of love and acceptance. Of redemption and reconciliation and transformation for every character.
The letter to the Divine, the honesty and surrender and willingness to be made new.
Recognition of Divine Love and letting love in. The relationship with your children — accepting their anger.
Debunking the lies of childhood and self deception, accept and forgive and heal.
Cynthia Holman-Schmidt — the Raw honesty throughout. The miracle of forgiveness and healing with Dad. The bond through A Course in Miracles. The truth is the truth and come from many sources.
The commitment to the morning date with God. The yummy-stat guide, yummy is feeling aligned.
The equitable transformation of both parties in relationships. Accepting that everyone is just doing the best they can.
Emma Dugal — They heroine’s journey — transformation and alchemy — it’s the journey from shame to love. I makes one feel like if she can do it, so can I.
The relationship with Betty, the breaking down false beliefs and allowing understanding and love.
Doesn’t mean you rollover, but to stand up and have your voice when its necessary. And claim your power.
The crux of it is the reconciliation with God. Healing the shame — You’ve woven this tapestry of this story of your perception
Shar Pittman — you’re my Betty and following your path has led me to redemption and permission to be myself and love it. Reconcile what we do when our child is harmed
The book is like a guide. How you see each person as a savior. Love is the answer.
This is a book for the recovery community.
You show us how ‘if I’m not the problem, there is no solution.’ You show how your perception is everything. Take ownership, and use the tools to change perception. Aligning with love — And choosing to see things through love.
Also the them of “Everything goes my way.” No matter what’s happening — it’s trust in Life.
This book will be a study of transformation for others.
It is an invitation for others to find their own connection to the Divine — it’s a non-threatening permission to ask for help and accept it.