059_You Have Epiphany Moments of Enlightenment. Why, Then Do Certain Things Keep Bothering You?

10/12/21 • 35 min

Life happens. It is the ever flowing energy of creation appearing as everything happening. It’s not personal. But we make it personal by bothering ourselves — by deciding we don’t like what’s happening.

If we like what’s happening we flow with it. The experience comes in and the energy flows through us and we experience the event, emotions and thoughts that come and go moment to moment. This is the purpose of our lives — to experience our lives.

But what about when we don’t like what’s happening. If what’s happening doesn’t meet the criteria we’ve placed on it to make us feel okay inside, we resist. When we resist, we trap the resistant energy inside and it creates inner pain points we try desperately to avoid activating. Yes?
If you’re taking what’s happening personally, you know you’ve attached your okayness to the externals going a certain way for you to feel okay.

We have these moments of enlightenment where we recognize the truth within us, and we feel like everything has now changed. Then at some point, a similar thing happens and we find ourselves reacting in the old way we did before we had our moment of enlightenment and we think, “Shit! Why am I reacting this way? I thought I was done with this. I already got this. I know the truth.”

What can we do?

What we have a tendency to do is to judge ourselves for ‘doing that thing again.’

But we’re not the reaction. We’re the one noticing that we’re reacting. Behind the reaction, is our self — The aware being we are which is untouched by reactions, beliefs and judgements.

That moment we notice, we also know we aren’t the reaction, but the one noticing it. So we can decide not to bother ourself with it.

We can relax and rest in our aware being —behind the story we’ve been telling ourselves and let the life force move through.
If we pause in that moment when we realize, “shit I’m doing it again— that thing I do when I don’t like what’s happening,” and soften behind it instead of attaching our identity to the reaction — we can relax and simply notice — and in the noticing, rather than defining ourselves as the reactor, which traps the resistant energy inside, we can rest in the awareness behind it and let it flow through... and flow with life rather than resist.

What’s happening isn’t really bothersome unless you’ve decided that you need it to go a different way for you to feel okay inside. That guy going 50 miles an hour in the fast lane isn’t your problem. Your problem is that you’re bothering yourself with it.

The key to working with these moments of enlightenment, is when you see your tendency to react in the old script, ask yourself, “Do I really want to bother myself with what’s happening or let it go.

The more we do this the freer we are to simply experience life — to fully experience all the currents of the ever-changing life showing up perfectly as it is, in this moment, especially for us to experience and appreciate. We don’t ‘need’ to do anything with it. Just not bother ourselves with wishing it were different. It’s not. This is it! This moment is yours!

Simply let it come in, feel its immensity, and let it flow on...

Have a yummy day!

What can we do?

What we have a tendency to do is to judge ourselves for ‘doing that thing again.’

But we’re not the reaction. We’re the one noticing that we’re reacting. Behind the reaction, is our self — The aware being we are which is untouched by reactions, beliefs and judgements.

That moment we notice, we also know we aren’t the reaction, but the one noticing it. So we can decide not to bother ourself with it.

Simply let it come in, feel its immensity, and let it flow on...

Have a yummy day!

Previous Episode

058_What is success?

In today’s episode we’re talking about what our criteria for success is, and how that effects our present moment happiness.
When we compare how we see our lives to how we see the lives of the icons we revere, we are bound to come up short.
The truth is, we only have our perception of what their life is like. And perception is a fickle thing, depending on our own personal filters and mental programming.
This is why it is so important to question what we believe and why we set the standards we do for ourselves.
What is your definition of success?
What standards have you subscribe to, whether consciously or unconsciously?
Where did you get that idea?
Who are the icons you want or try to emulate?
How much do you compare yourself to those icons you revere?
Do you feel less compared to them? What do you believe reaching that iconic state will give you?
Do you have your happiness tied to achieving that future state or end product?
Are you trading your present joy for some promised outcome by the so-called experts in your preferred field?
What is it about being rich or famous or put on a pedestal in our field, that makes us want to ‘be like that’?
We can only be ourselves anyway. Wishing it were different only causes internal stress.
We always know if we’re being true to ourselves, or trying to be something we’re not in the hopes that down the road we’ll like ourselves better, by the way we feel. Right?
Here at THE YUMMY WAY we call that our ‘yummy-stat’. —That internal barometer that guides us toward our true north in our individual lives.
Knowing and embracing your own way of doing things — delighting in what brings you joy is crucial to enjoying the journey, moment to moment. It’s what keeps life exciting and personally rewarding as we go along.
Sure make goals. But don’t have your idea of success tied to outcomes. Don’t let what someone else’s life looks like on the outside determine how you measure your success or happiness.
It never works.
Externals never make us happy.
Reaching a goal feels good. By it isn’t the acquisition of the goal that gives us happiness. Contrary to what we’ve been told.
Happiness is our natural state. When we’re striving we’re in stress. When we stop striving, the relief to our system is palpable. It feels good. We feel happy. That is until our ego or success-progamming tells us that’s not enough and sends us on another quest for more. Yes?
This moment is truly all we have to work with. Regardless of what we believe. Have you ever lived in any moment but the one you are in? No.
It’s all in how we’re looking at life.
Is ife happening to you? Or is life happening for you?
When you look at life as a gift — like whatever comes your way is ‘for’ you to be happy, it changes the way you make choices.
Making the moment to moment choice to love and accept ‘what is’ wholeheartedly and choose to find the joy in it, is my definition of a successful life.
Isn’t the reason you want that money, that fame, that perfect relationship or whatever your definition of success is — isn’t the reason you want that because you believe it will make you happy?
If ultimately happiness is the goal, why not choose to be happy with the moment you are in —accepting all the current circumstance and events coming together to make this particular moment happen for you — then moment to moment, let that joy guide the choices you make for what’s next?
Have a yummy week & a yummy day!

Next Episode

060_The Upside of Vulnerability

In today’s podcast we’re talking about vulnerability.
How often do we enter encounters with others from a preconceived idea of what we think the situation requires of us and then play the role we believe we need to play to get approval or acceptance?
Do you filter your authentic self based on the mental constructs you’ve built from past perceptions which make you feel less vulnerable? Do you hide your most authentic self?
Why?
Perhaps you’ve been vulnerably honestly yourself in the past and it wasn’t received with love or kindness. Or maybe you’ve even felt it was used against you.
So you create a belief that if you are authentically and honestly yourself, it’s going to come back to bite you in the ass. You tell yourself you can’t be totally honest and open because you’re going to get in trouble if you do.
And this justifies playing a role based on past perception, rather than just showing up and being you.
The thing is, what you’ve done is given something or someone outside yourself to determine your okayness.
If we’re waiting for the outside world to show us enough acceptance and non-judgement to tell us it’s safe to be ourselves, then we are at the mercy of circumstances and people. Honesty is missing in this equation. So everyone is role-playing and nothing truly authentic and present is happening because it’s all being run through ‘fear of vulnerability’ filters.
Living vulnerably as your authentic self requires self-awareness and self trust.
Know thy self.
This is the first step in shifting from externally based operating, to showing up in as you truly are, openly expressing yourself honestly and trusting yourself to handle what happens.
The key is paying attention the way the energies feel inside. Becoming really intimate with them is the gift of waking up to our true authentic self. These energies are always telling us if we’re coming from love or fear, by the way we feel. Yummy or icky?
What we call our yummy-stat. When we’re in fear of being ourself, the energy tightens up. And the experience life is offering can’t flow through us. It feels icky.
It’s telling us we’re about to be less than wholly true to ourselves.
What it really gets down to is letting go of the outcome of what will happen when we’re honestly us... If we’re looking outside ourselves for validation then we’re never going to know our own worth. If we want to know ourselves in all the situations in our lives, we have to take the risk to be authentically ourselves, tell our truth as fast as we’re aware what it is, and let the chips fall where they may.
When we love ourselves, we know that whatever happens, we can trust ourselves to deal with it. Our worth isn’t attached to the outcome, but center within our being.
We’ve always already won because we’re not waiting on something outside ourselves to prove our worthiness.
This is why our yummy-stat is so powerful. As soon as we feel that tightening, icky feeling inside, we know that we are stepping away from authenticity, and trying to control our vulnerability. We can pause, soften around the perception construct in our belief system, and recenter back in our true self. It is only from this place of authentically being ourselves that we get to experience the fullness of the the experience life is offering us in any given moment.
Life is vulnerable. We never know what’s going to happen. The story that we can control that is a lie. It’s nothing to be afraid of. The more you tell the truth and be true to yourself, the more it becomes the only way that feels right.
Only by being you can you know the innate joy that lets all outcomes be acceptable. You can’t help but love yourself, when you’re showing up for you. This is the upside of living from vulnerability as your authentic self.