The Survivor's Guide to Life

This podcast episode explores the hardships and rewards of being a caregiver through the lens of two recent articles of note. "Long Hours, Low Pay, Loneliness and a Booming Industry", published by the New York Times, profiles the difficult life and Covid-related death of two New York caregivers, and throws some light on the questionable practices of the caregiving industry in that state. In the Wall Street Journal, Patti Davis shares her transition from "getting so many things wrong" in her life to discovering her own "strength and capacity for compassion" in "Patti Davis Has Wisdom to Share With Alzheimer's Caregivers". We add our thoughts, insight and encouragement to caregivers (and potential caregivers) everywhere.

Caregivers serve others in a stressful reality of suffering, disability, crisis, sickness, and death. The caregiving experience places emotional burdens on caregivers, and these experiences often stimulate painful, unresolved emotions from the caregiver's past. To release these old, stored negative emotions, it's essential for caregivers to learn to tune in to their bodies. Trapped emotions give clues to their presence in physical sensations. Awareness of these sensations - patterns that can be unique for each individual - can help caregivers resolve and recover from past pain and trauma. The opportunity for growth and resilience comes from resolving and healing old wounds.

We remain in the critical initial stage of the COVID-19 pandemic, living in survival mode. We need to stay aware, in our "extraordinary reality", of the possible buildup of negative emotions of fear and panic which can cloud our perspective and even threaten our physical health. Victor Frankl's values - productive work, love for others, and courage - can guide us to reach out and help others. These times can teach us, if we let them, to begin to lessen our focus on the "tangibles" - money, job security, material possessions - and embrace the "intangibles" - our relationships with those we love, compassion and empathy for others, and our individual spiritual practice.

The "extraordinary reality" common to caregivers and first responders - the experience each day of issues of life and death, crisis and loss of control - continues for every one of us during this COVID-19 pandemic. Our personal strengths and weaknesses are being exposed to others and to ourselves. As Victor Frankl observed, we cannot always choose our situation, but we can choose our responses. We can focus on productive work, love for others, and displaying courage in the face of fear and panic. We can focus on the truth of the humanity we share with a frightened and suffering world. Additionally, there are practical actions - recommended during this podcast - that will help us survive and live out the values Frankl cherished.

The "blessing of urgency" is a way of looking at our challenging situation as an opportunity for change, to be creative and try new things, to find new ways to overcome the difficulties we are facing. In the midst of a long-running crisis, an extended vacation may not be possible. Setting aside time for a "mini-vacation" - a break to enjoy something distracting and refreshing - can help us restore our energy and perspective. In the first segment of this podcast, Peter and Jenny give an update on the extraordinary reality we are living through now and re-introduce Randy Mayfield, a singer, songwriter, pastor and coordinator of relief missions in Europe, Africa and the Middle East. In the second segment, we share part of a recent Zoom conversation with Randy in which he explains how the pandemic-necessitated cancellation of his work and travel plans resulted in new, more expansive opportunities to help people around the world - a definite "blessing from urgency". Mini-vacations are the topic of our third segment - we explain how to take a "mini-vacation" and why they are so important for self-care and resilience. Questions from our final segment: 1) How can a mini-vacation refresh us if, by the time we stop to take one, we are completely exhausted?, 2) Can a mini-vacation help us recognize when it's time to make changes in our lives?, and 3) Fifty years ago this month, a very urgent situation led Peter to make big changes in his life. Have these changes turned out to be a blessing?