
96. S8 E4: Safety, community and representation for Black and minority ethnic / global majority autistic people
04/22/23 • 60 min
Naomi Clarke is a freelance writer, community mentor, fundraiser and Human Design reader.
She self diagnosed as autistic around two years ago, but due to inequality in the medical system has so far not been able to get a formal diagnosis.
She describes herself as an autistic, queer, mixed race person with two children (one of her sons was diagnosed autistic 5 years ago).
She wears a lot of hats in her life; she writes for work and for personal interest, and is passionate about building lives outside of the system of mainstream schooling. Until very recently she was running a self directed learning community for home educated young people in London. She loves crafts like sewing, crochet, and knitting, and her current main special interests are Human Design and kink and BDSM.
She says that she is still finding her autistic identity and overcoming some internalised ableism, which is often made much worse by struggling to see Black and POC autistic people in spaces of influence.
In our conversation we talk about:
➡ Finding community as an intersectional autistic person
➡ The issue of safety for unmasked autistic Black and people of colour
➡ The challenges of making self-directed learning communities accessible for neurodivergent children and facilitators
➡ How Human Design has helped her understand herself and other people better
➡ Why the kink and BDSM community can be a safe space for autistic people to explore their sexuality
Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes.
I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.
I’m Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I’m now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn’t quite fit.
EPISODE LINKS:
Naomi's Instagram: www.instagram.com/_naomi.clarke_
If you'd like to connect or get in touch with Squarepeg, you can find me on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/squarepegautism
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/
Or on my website: https://squarepeg.community/
THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!
A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:
Abi Hunter, Adam Klager, Amy Adler, Amy-Beth Mellor, Anika Lacerte, Annette, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catrin Green, Cindy Bailey, Clare Forrest, Clare Holmes, Corinne Cariad, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Dawn Trevellion, Dennis McNulty, Elizabeth Williams, Erica Kenworthy, Erin Pineapple, Fiona Connor, Galina, Gwyneth, Hannah Breslin, Jackie Allen, JF, Jayne Hutchinson, Jeff Goldman, Jen Bartlett, Julie, Katarzyna Tomaszewska, Kate and Kathryn, Kate Faust, Katharine Richards, Katherine Lynch, Kenneth Knowles, Laura, Laurencia Saenz Benavides, Lea Li, Leo Ricketts, Lilli Simmons, Linda Brown, Liz, LQ, Lyb, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martine, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, MN, Paul Harris, Pete Burke, Rebecca Biegel, Rebecca Kemp, Sarah Cottrell, Sarah Jeffery, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Swanton, Suzanna Chen, Suzanne, Tammie Fabien, Tamsen Staniford, Tegan Bailey, Tessa Valyou, Tree Hall, Vic Wiener, Vicki Temple, Victoria Chang, Victoria Routledge, Zephyrine Craster and Zoe Lee.
If you’re enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast
Naomi Clarke is a freelance writer, community mentor, fundraiser and Human Design reader.
She self diagnosed as autistic around two years ago, but due to inequality in the medical system has so far not been able to get a formal diagnosis.
She describes herself as an autistic, queer, mixed race person with two children (one of her sons was diagnosed autistic 5 years ago).
She wears a lot of hats in her life; she writes for work and for personal interest, and is passionate about building lives outside of the system of mainstream schooling. Until very recently she was running a self directed learning community for home educated young people in London. She loves crafts like sewing, crochet, and knitting, and her current main special interests are Human Design and kink and BDSM.
She says that she is still finding her autistic identity and overcoming some internalised ableism, which is often made much worse by struggling to see Black and POC autistic people in spaces of influence.
In our conversation we talk about:
➡ Finding community as an intersectional autistic person
➡ The issue of safety for unmasked autistic Black and people of colour
➡ The challenges of making self-directed learning communities accessible for neurodivergent children and facilitators
➡ How Human Design has helped her understand herself and other people better
➡ Why the kink and BDSM community can be a safe space for autistic people to explore their sexuality
Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes.
I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.
I’m Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I’m now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn’t quite fit.
EPISODE LINKS:
Naomi's Instagram: www.instagram.com/_naomi.clarke_
If you'd like to connect or get in touch with Squarepeg, you can find me on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/squarepegautism
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/
Or on my website: https://squarepeg.community/
THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!
A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:
Abi Hunter, Adam Klager, Amy Adler, Amy-Beth Mellor, Anika Lacerte, Annette, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catrin Green, Cindy Bailey, Clare Forrest, Clare Holmes, Corinne Cariad, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Dawn Trevellion, Dennis McNulty, Elizabeth Williams, Erica Kenworthy, Erin Pineapple, Fiona Connor, Galina, Gwyneth, Hannah Breslin, Jackie Allen, JF, Jayne Hutchinson, Jeff Goldman, Jen Bartlett, Julie, Katarzyna Tomaszewska, Kate and Kathryn, Kate Faust, Katharine Richards, Katherine Lynch, Kenneth Knowles, Laura, Laurencia Saenz Benavides, Lea Li, Leo Ricketts, Lilli Simmons, Linda Brown, Liz, LQ, Lyb, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martine, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, MN, Paul Harris, Pete Burke, Rebecca Biegel, Rebecca Kemp, Sarah Cottrell, Sarah Jeffery, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Swanton, Suzanna Chen, Suzanne, Tammie Fabien, Tamsen Staniford, Tegan Bailey, Tessa Valyou, Tree Hall, Vic Wiener, Vicki Temple, Victoria Chang, Victoria Routledge, Zephyrine Craster and Zoe Lee.
If you’re enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast
Previous Episode

95. S8 E3: Shelving the quest for normal: reframing, regulating, and removing the stigma from autism
Ebonie Allard is an award-winning International Master Coach, an author, and an artist. Now in her early 40s, she was mostly raised in the UK, but before she was seven years old she had lived in a house truck, on a commune, in France, New Zealand, Ireland, and England. She now lives in Spain.
She says that she has never had a 'proper job' - she’s been self-employed, a freelancer, a business owner and an entrepreneur all her life.
Ebonie was diagnosed autistic fairly recently, but has always drawn neurodivergent people to her, and her work helps other neurodivergent, creative and spiritual humans to self actualise and enjoy their physical experience.
I enjoyed this conversation so much - Ebonie is such a calming presence and brings a wonderful mix of wisdom and down-to-earthness. In our conversation we talk about:
➡ Reframing our past lives and selves
➡ Replacing unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthier ones
➡ Learning to embrace our demons, process emotions and regulate our nervous systems
➡ Removing stigma around meltdowns, stimming and other natural autistic things
Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes.
I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.
I’m Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I’m now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn’t quite fit.
EPISODE LINKS:
Ebonie’s course, Misfit to Maven: the Fundamentals https://www.ebonieallard.com/the-fundamentals
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eboniealchemy/
This Sacrosanct Life podcast: https://www.ebonieallard.com/podcasts/this-sacrosanct-life
Adulting with Ebonie podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5BW278BdWdxI4dTuBpc1BY
Her book, Misfit to Maven (that we reference in this episode): https://www.ebonieallard.com/misfit-to-maven-book
Her book ‘The Manual of Me®️’: https://www.ebonieallard.com/the-manual-of-me
If you'd like to connect or get in touch with Squarepeg, you can find me on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/squarepegautism
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/
Or on my website: https://squarepeg.community/
THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!
A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:
Abi Hunter, Adam Klager, Amy Adler, Amy-Beth Mellor, Anika Lacerte, Annette, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catrin Green, Cindy Bailey, Clare Forrest, Clare Holmes, Corinne Cariad, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Dawn Trevellion, Dennis McNulty, Elizabeth Williams, Erica Kenworthy, Fiona Connor, Galina, Gwyneth, Hannah Breslin, Jackie Allen, JF, Jayne Hutchinson, Jeff Goldman, Jen Bartlett, Julie, Katarzyna Tomaszewska, Kate and Kathryn, Kate Faust, Katharine Richards, Katherine Lynch, Kenneth Knowles, Laura, Laurencia Saenz Benavides, Lea Li, Leo Ricketts, Lilli Simmons, Linda Brown, Liz, LQ, Lyb, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martine, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, MN, Paul Harris, Pete Burke, Rebecca Biegel, Rebecca Kemp, Sarah Cottrell, Sarah Jeffery, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Swanton, Suzanna Chen, Suzanne, Tammie Fabien, Tamsen Staniford, Tegan Bailey, Tessa Valyou, Tree Hall, Vic Wiener, Vicki Temple, Victoria Chang, Victoria Routledge, Zephyrine Craster and Zoe Lee.
If you’re enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast
Next Episode

97. S8 E5: Finding logic in chaos, burnout, and reconnecting with our internal compass and autistic joy
Martine van Bijlert is a writer and researcher from the Netherlands. Now 52, she grew up in Iran and worked in places like Kabul, Grozny and Tehran as an aid worker, diplomat and researcher. She now divides her time between her own creative projects and her work for the Afghanistan Analysts Network, a Kabul-based think tank she founded with friends.
She is self-identified autistic and ADHD, and says she feels like she has always been surrounded by neurodivergent people, as a child, during her studies and in her work abroad, and perhaps because of that she thought things were easier for her than for other people, not harder - which is probably one of the reasons it took her a while to unearth her own neurodivergence.
We talk about:
➡ Finding life more difficult as she’s got older
➡ Realising that most of her family were probably neurodivergent, including her Bible-smuggling grandfather
➡ Being drawn to foreign countries after spending her early childhood in Iran
➡ How her neurodivergent objectivity, pragmatism and cool-headed logic helped her in dangerous situations
➡ Her experience of burnout after setting up and running an organisation in Kabul - and its links to neurodivergent idealism and how we can lose our internal compass as a result
Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes.
I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.
I’m Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I’m now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn’t quite fit.
EPISODE LINKS:
Martine’s website: www.martinevanbijlert.com
Her (beautiful!) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mvbijlert/
AAN website: www.afghanistan-analysts.org
If you'd like to connect or get in touch with Squarepeg, you can find me on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/squarepegautism
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/
Or on my website: https://squarepeg.community/
THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!
A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:
Abi Hunter, Adam Klager, Amy Adler, Amy-Beth Mellor, Anika Lacerte, Annette, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catrin Green, Cindy Bailey, Clare Forrest, Clare Holmes, Corinne Cariad, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Dawn Trevellion, Dennis McNulty, Elizabeth Williams, Erica Kenworthy, Erin Pineapple, Fiona Connor, Galina, Gwyneth, Hannah Breslin, Jackie Allen, JF, Jayne Hutchinson, Jeff Goldman, Jen Bartlett, Julie, Katarzyna Tomaszewska, Kate and Kathryn, Kate Faust, Katharine Richards, Katherine Lynch, Kenneth Knowles, Laura, Laurencia Saenz Benavides, Lea Li, Leo Ricketts, Lilli Simmons, Linda Brown, Liz, LQ, Lyb, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martine, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, MN, Paul Harris, Pete Burke, Rebecca Biegel, Rebecca Kemp, Sarah Cottrell, Sarah Jeffery, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Swanton, Suzanna Chen, Suzanne, Talia's Nature, Tammie Fabien, Tamsen Staniford, Tegan Bailey, Tessa Valyou, Tree Hall, Vic Wiener, Vicki Temple, Victoria Chang, Victoria Routledge, Zephyrine Craster and Zoe Lee.
If you’re enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast
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