269 SelfWork: The Dangerous Twin Towers of Burnout and Perfectionism
02/11/22 • 27 min
1 Listener
Perhaps the most poignant messages I receive are the ones from people who love someone who's becoming less and less “like’ themselves – and are frightened about what’s going on. This week I heard from a wife whose husband..."has always had an excuse for his extremely busy schedule. Over the past several months he has been acting very differently and has been more open about his unhappiness, and will admit to being depressed. He is also very confused. I came upon your podcast and book as I was searching... We started couples therapy... but he'll say things like" I don't think this is what's really wrong", or "She's focusing on why I'm smiling during the session, when really the problem is that I'm unhappy".
So in today's SelfWork, sponsored by Athletic Greens, we'll focus on burnout and its relationship with perfectionism - and how both can lead to true classic depression.
The listener email today is also someone asking about PHD – but this time, about her own potential for it as someone with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). She'd worked through her pandemic anxiety with therapy and medications, but now, off medications, this listener is experiencing new feelings of anger and irritability. What could be happening?
Important Links:
Here's the link once again to my new interactive podcast on Fireside Chat! Click here!
Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens - now AG1 - with bonus pr oduct with your subscription!
SelfWork Podcast on Self-Compassion
What is generalized anxiety disorder: The article by The Mayo Clinic
You can hear more of many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then clickhere and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And here's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Perhaps the most poignant messages I receive are the ones from people who love someone who's becoming less and less “like’ themselves – and are frightened about what’s going on. This week I heard from a wife whose husband..."has always had an excuse for his extremely busy schedule. Over the past several months he has been acting very differently and has been more open about his unhappiness, and will admit to being depressed. He is also very confused. I came upon your podcast and book as I was searching... We started couples therapy... but he'll say things like" I don't think this is what's really wrong", or "She's focusing on why I'm smiling during the session, when really the problem is that I'm unhappy".
So in today's SelfWork, sponsored by Athletic Greens, we'll focus on burnout and its relationship with perfectionism - and how both can lead to true classic depression.
The listener email today is also someone asking about PHD – but this time, about her own potential for it as someone with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). She'd worked through her pandemic anxiety with therapy and medications, but now, off medications, this listener is experiencing new feelings of anger and irritability. What could be happening?
Important Links:
Here's the link once again to my new interactive podcast on Fireside Chat! Click here!
Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens - now AG1 - with bonus pr oduct with your subscription!
SelfWork Podcast on Self-Compassion
What is generalized anxiety disorder: The article by The Mayo Clinic
You can hear more of many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then clickhere and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And here's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Previous Episode
268 SelfWork: Ten Traits That Create Camouflage for Trauma: Perfectly Hidden Depression
I want to eagerly and deeply thank HealthLine for naming The SelfWork Podcast the "Best Overall Podcast for Depression!" Wow!! Thank you to my team and to you, the listeners! Talk about not being able to "do it without you"? We truly can't! So my gratitude to each and every listener...
Today I'm going to catch you up on what I'm continuing to learn about perfectionism. And I’ll share my new understanding of what makes PHD-perfectionism different from others. It's trauma-based or trauma-induced. I"ll also explain how the mind actually disposes (or seems to dispose) of the memory of an experience and the feelings it initially created – the processes of suppression and repression are fascinating to learn about!
I wrote a post about my reaction to this week's voicemail in Psychology Today - you might want to read it yourself and its in the links section below. I know that therapists are people too... but I want you – my SelfWork listeners – to be prepared for how to handle things if your therapist disappoints or hurts or even angers you!
So in this episode, sponsored by BetterHelp, who's again here with a great offer for you, we'll talk about compartmentalization and trauma-based perfectionism.
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
Psychology Today article by Dr. Margaret on when you have conflict with your therapist...
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Next Episode
270 SelfWork: Five Things to Know To Help You Feel Emotionally Safe In Therapy
I get a lot of questions about therapy - how to find a therapist, how to know if therapy is working. One of the most common questions is, “How do I open up?” But here was another and different kind of comment last week. “Things I was only vaguely aware of, or knew, but was able to keep locked away from myself - have decided to pick the lock.” So, sometimes opening up can be a slow process while at other times, painful emotions and memories can come bursting out when triggered. So, in this episode of SelfWork, sponsored by BetterHelp, we're going to focus on five things to be aware of that can lead you to feel as emotionally safe as possible with your therapist.
The listener voicemail is only five seconds long... but her question is heartbreaking. I’m not sure I have answers... but I definitely want to extend comfort and reassurance.
So, let’s talk about how you build safety into beginning to open up about things that – at least initially – don’t feel safe at all.
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
Psychology Today article by Dr. Margaret on when you have conflict with your therapist...
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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