Pursuing Purpose Regardless of Your Season

08/14/19 • 57 min

Today, we are very lucky to have one of my dear friends, Dianna Bautista, on the podcast. We go way back—she once gave me my dream Beyoncé haircut (from her XO music video) in my kitchen. She used to work as a celebrity hair stylist, but now she lives and works in Thailand, where she helps men and women come out of sex trafficking through her nonprofit, Shear International. This episode, we talk about living life to the fullest regardless of the season you are in (cough cough: whether you’re married or not). She talks about her journey of healing from an abusive marriage, and why she is loving her season of singleness.

The WHY

“I don’t want any woman to ever experience what I have experienced.”

The town she lives in is widely recognized as the sex tourism capital of the world.
She goes into brothels, pays pimps for time with a girl, and sits to talk with them. After they build trust with these women, they help them to see that there are ways out.
When she was little, she was unable to use her voice to help her brother who was a victim of sexual abuse. After she came home from a trip where she witnessed similar abuse, she was encouraged by her brother to use the voice she has now.
“There is no room in this world for complacency.”

Red Flags

“My faith meant something to me and I just thought it was okay that he ‘respected’ what I believed.”

She only realized after the fact that he did not dedicate enough time to her. “I felt only worthy of what he was willing to give me.”
Ladies: just because he is treating you better than other men have does NOT mean he is treating you well. “Any attention he gave me was good enough.”
“The way that you allow people to treat you is how they will always treat you.”

Pursuing Wholeness

“We need those friends in our lives who are willing to risk putting up the mirror.”

These friends help us confront truths, even when they are really hard to confront.
“His addiction to porn became such shame to me.”
It took her years of therapy and healing to realize that it had nothing to do with her. “That was his shame, not mine.”
Healing is a long process. “You don’t get to come out free the other side unless you do the work.”
She acknowledges that the healing process is often even more painful than what you need healing from—it’s like breaking a bone.

Healing takes TIME.

“I want the man of my prayers, not the man of my dreams.”

The healing is not only a slow process, but it’s also a never-ending process. “I’ll be on my journey until the day I die.”
Too often, we put our lives on pause because we feel it can’t fully start until we have that one person to do it with. Lady Dianna is doing all of this single.
Though she would be happy to be in a relationship, she is happy where she now.
“I’m choosing to desire what God wants for me right now because the path I wanted to be on was never going to be a good idea.”
God’s best for you is better than you can imagine. “I want the man of my prayers, not the man of my dreams.”

We were unexpectedly cut off as we were wrapping up because her Wi-Fi went out, but I hope this conversation has been as encouraging for you as it has been for me. She is living her calling and I want women all over the world to hear her story and realize they don’t need to wait for their life to start. Check out her nonprofit Shear Love International where you can learn more about it and support her by giving monthly donations. Also, I want to give a shoutout to her admin Sara who has been such a supporter of the podcast!

If you like the podcast, I want to invite you to subscribe to the podcast and leave a rating and review. It helps us to get the episode out to more people and means the world to us!

Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out! With you on the journey.

The WHY

“I don’t want any woman to ever experience what I have experienced.”

The town she lives in is widely recognized as the sex tourism capital of the world.
She goes into brothels, pays pimps for time with a girl, and sits to talk with them. After they build trust with these women, they help them to see that there are ways out.
When she was little, she was unable to use her voice to help her brother who was a victim of sexual abuse. After she came home from a trip where she witnessed similar abuse, she was encouraged by her brother to use the voice she has now.
“There is no room in this world for complacency.”

Red Flags

“My faith meant something to me and I just thought it was okay that he ‘respected’ what I believed.”

She only realized after the fact that he did not dedicate enough time to her. “I felt only worthy of what he was willing to give me.”
Ladies: just because he is treating you better than other men have does NOT mean he is treating you well. “Any attention he gave me was good enough.”
“The way that you allow people to treat you is how they will always treat you.”

Pursuing Wholeness

“We need those friends in our lives who are willing to risk putting up the mirror.”

These friends help us confront truths, even when they are really hard to confront.
“His addiction to porn became such shame to me.”
It took her years of therapy and healing to realize that it had nothing to do with her. “That was his shame, not mine.”
Healing is a long process. “You don’t get to come out free the other side unless you do the work.”
She acknowledges that the healing process is often even more painful than what you need healing from—it’s like breaking a bone.

Healing takes TIME.

“I want the man of my prayers, not the man of my dreams.”

The healing is not only a slow process, but it’s also a never-ending process. “I’ll be on my journey until the day I die.”
Too often, we put our lives on pause because we feel it can’t fully start until we have that one person to do it with. Lady Dianna is doing all of this single.
Though she would be happy to be in a relationship, she is happy where she now.
“I’m choosing to desire what God wants for me right now because the path I wanted to be on was never going to be a good idea.”
God’s best for you is better than you can imagine. “I want the man of my prayers, not the man of my dreams.”

If you like the podcast, I want to invite you to subscribe to the podcast and leave a rating and review. It helps us to get the episode out to more people and means the world to us!

Previous Episode

The 5 Productivity Hacks You Need In Your Life

Ashlyn Carter is a baller at marketing, copywriting, and productivity hacks. A lot of you have had questions like “how do I stay productive in my day to day life?” “how do I pursue my side hustle?” and “how do I work from home and stay motivated?”

Well, there is no better person to guide you through this than the one and only: Ashlyn Carter.

How She Got Started

“This job that I was in was never going to be okay with me taking rest.”

Out of college, she worked in marketing and then in PR. When she made an effort to keep Sundays free from work, her boss told her she was in the wrong industry!
She began to focus her control on her body and her eating and ultimately recognized she was suffering from anorexia, anxiety, and depression. After her wedding, she took steps toward healing and spent three months hospitalized.
Soon after, she decided she wanted to work for herself so she started her own business.

The Turning Point

Mindset is critical when you are starting a new pursuit. “I looked at my new job as a business owner not a freelancer.”
“It’s never been a better time to start a business, but at the same time it’s never been a noisier place.”
Ashlyn used what she knew from marketing to excel in her new business. She would reach out to people who needed help, and slowly began to make a dent in the industry. “I found the Ashlyn-sized gap in the market.”

Being Organized As An Entrepreneur

Ashlyn got obsessive about her work because she was determined to not go back to her old job. Because of this, she found herself back where she started working 7 days a week.
She wanted to set up a business that could run when she couldn’t work so she began “Ashlyn-proofing” her business with outlines and structures.
It’s not going to change if you don’t make it a priority.

Productivity Hacks

Get a Parking Lot

It’s important to have a constant space where you can put any idea in your head and know that it is logged and captured.
This helps fight the shiny object syndrome.

Make Lists

At the end of the month, she looks at her to-do list and asks herself what felt like a “to do” and what actually was a “to do.”
When it comes to realizing the difference, she sets annual goals and re-reads them every single week. Seeing these big goals alongside her daily “to do”s helps her to choose well.
“What is actually going to inch me towards who I want to be at the end of 2019?”

Be Nosy

Pay attention to how people are spending their time. Be curious. Try new hacks out. Keep it if it works. If it doesn’t work: throw it out.

Weekly Review

“You don’t get rewarded for what you intend to do; you get rewarded for what you DO.”

Every week Ashlyn asks herself these 4 questions:
What worked and didn’t work from this week?
What lessons did I learn?
What obstacles did I run into?
How am I going to adjust moving forward?

Batching

Divide your business into five big topics you need to get done. Assign each big topic to a day of the week. i.e. Marketing, meetings, finance, client work, etc.
This brings back the structure that encourages us to get work done.

Ashlyn leaves us with these wonderful words of wisdom: “Even if you never slept you still wouldn’t be able to meet the expectations everyone is putting on you.” Head over to her website AshlynWrites.com where you can get her freebies and sign up for her AMAZING emails!!

You guys are still going crazy over last week’s episode of my recap of The Bachelorette! If you haven’t listened yet, hop over and do that after listening to this episode! If you like the podcast, I want to invite you to subscribe to the podcast and leave a rating and review. It helps us to get the episode out to more people!

Fab Fit Fun is a seasonal subscription box that has FULL-SIZED beauty, fitness, fashion, and lifestyle products and I am so obsessed, y’all. The contents always have a worth of about $200 the boxes only cost $49.99! A few of my favorites from this box: a travel yoga mat, Vitamin C serum, and a gold eye mask. Even better? You get to customize what goes into your box! If you’ve ever thought about trying it—now is the time! If you go to www.fabfitfun.com and use code TRW, you’ll get $10 off your first box!

Hosted on Acast. See

Next Episode

Everything You Were Never Taught About Your Period

I am so excited to be chatting with my soul sister Kate Eskuri today! This episode we’re talking all about PERIODS. Ladies, you’re going to learn so much more than you ever did in health class. Kate is a registered nurse, holistic health junkie, and the voice behind The Foundation Blog. She is currently getting her doctorate degree in integrative health and healing and is passionate about helping women maximize their health by simple and foundational health practices. Our hope is that this conversation will empower you to do research and make informed decisions for that time of the month.

Finding The Balance

Kate took a year off from being a nurse in the Mayo Clinic to work on her sister Jenna Kutcher's Goal Digger Podcast. During this time, she realized her passion for integrative health.
“What are you doing when you’re putting off something else?”
She knows that areas of Western medicine need improvement, but also recognizes that this medicine is the reason we are alive today after seeing it in action in the ICU.
However, chronic conditions that plague our country prove a need for a shift toward the holistic. We need to look at sleep, stress, and diet.
“I feel very at home in this spot in the middle.”

Becoming A Woman

“Everything in my life was very natural but yet I was still controlling this really natural and beautiful cycle.”

Kate never felt any shame around her period. “I just felt honored and excited about it.”
Her periods were regular but were more frequent than they should have been. “It takes a while to normalize your cycle.”
Wanting to prevent this near constant bleeding, she tried the NuvaRing but ultimately settled on the Mirena IUD which allowed her to continue ovulating.

Cons of Hormonal Contraceptive

“I completely trust my fellow woman to make the choice that is best for her. There is an option that is right for everybody.”
The hormones in contraceptives are not the exact hormones your body would make.
Hormonal contraception often suppress ovulation and ultimately suppress hormones that are natural and have important benefits.
“You’re inhibiting a very natural process that goes a lot deeper than just your period.”

The Phases Of Your Cycle

Ladies + Gents--the below is just an overview...you gotta listen to the whole episode to get the goods of each phase of your cycle!

1. Menstruation/Winter

Day 1: shedding the uterine lining.
You’re maybe feeling moody or withdrawn, experiencing cramps, and a need to slow down. It’s like the ‘winter’ season of the cycle.
1. Follicular/Spring
Day 3 or 4: Follicle stimulating hormone is working on the dominant egg.
More energy in this phase, almost like stepping back into your skin.
This time is good for creative projects and you’ll experience clear thinking.
“You feel energetic and attractive... it’s just a really vibrant time.”
1. Ovulation/Summer
Body releases egg as the pituitary gland signals for it to release.
“You can’t kind of ovulate—you either ovulate or you don’t.”
High energy, high sex drive, you feel attractive. Your hormones even make you more attractive to those around you. There is a study that shows a correlation between a woman’s scent during ovulation and a man’s attraction to her.
1. Luteal/Fall
Progesterone—can make you moody and somber, but it’s really important.
“It is the yin to estrogen’s yang.”
Progesterone is calming, helps sleep, reduces inflammation, + builds muscles.
“The shift from being so estrogen dominant at parts of your cycle to progesterone dominant causes an influx of emotion—what we see as PMS.”

Getting To Know Your Period

“Your period health says a lot about your overall health.”

Track Your Cycle!

Kate journals every morning and will write about how she is feeling on the previous day of her cycle. A few key words is all you need—nothing flashy!
Kate uses the Ava app and Kat uses the My Flo app.
“Your period story does not have to be suffering every month.”
1. Books To Read:
The Period R...