Are Shit Goggles The Cause of Your Breakup?

Explicit content warning

08/29/19 • 79 min

Breakups obviously are never fun to navigate, but what if there was a HUGE piece of preventative relational medicine that so many people miss?

Well good news, there is.

It's called owning how you co-create your relational shit goggles. In this very open and vulnerable episode we "out" our shadow material and share with you the core negative images we hold about one another and how that gasp actually creates more rapport and closeness.

Not a clue what we're on about?

Well tune in for these nuggets:

• The core negative image you hold of your partner, becomes the thing you're combating most.
• When we exaggerate the negative aspects of a partner it's a way to create psychological and emotional distance (usually because we could use some sprucing up of our boundaries).
• If we can't own up to the ways in which we're difficult, the ways we're difficult will own us (and sabotage our relationship).
• The top ways Jamie is difficult.
• The top ways Kelsey is difficult.
• Jamie's core negative image of Kelsey
• Kelsey's core negative image of Jamie.
• How knowing and outing these pieces has and does impact our relationship.
• How reparenting helps to calm down the core negative image, take responsibility for our annoying and difficult aspects, and ground into a much more emotionally intimate space within the relationship container.

If you're currently struggling with a breakup, and need guided support through the process, you can access our Heal Your Heartbreak course HERE

To make sure you're staying up to date on all things relational education that we don't cover on the podcast be sure to hop on our Legendary Love email list HERE

P.s. The CNI concept was created by Terry Real, we're a big fan, you can check him out HERE

P.s.s. The "how we're difficult" is a process used by Stan Tatkin, also huge fans, you can find him HERE

Breakups obviously are never fun to navigate, but what if there was a HUGE piece of preventative relational medicine that so many people miss?

Well good news, there is.

Not a clue what we're on about?

Well tune in for these nuggets:

If you're currently struggling with a breakup, and need guided support through the process, you can access our Heal Your Heartbreak course HERE

To make sure you're staying up to date on all things relational education that we don't cover on the podcast be sure to hop on our Legendary Love email list HERE

P.s. The CNI concept was created by Terry Real, we're a big fan, you can check him out HERE

P.s.s. The "how we're difficult" is a process used by Stan Tatkin, also huge fans, you can find him HERE

Previous Episode

Overfunctioning 101: Are You Breastfeeding Your Boyfriend?

Overfunctioning is the other half of the dysfunctional dance so many couple's find themselves in. In this week's Powercouple Game Time episode we're exploring the in's and outs of overfunctioning.

As a recovering overfunctioner, Kelsey is in the hot seat this week. Being interviewed by Jamie, she generously gives the audience access into the experience of the overfunctioner as well as some solid action steps to begin healing this pattern if you're (or someone you know) is overfunctioning and has the desire to become more optimal functioning in their life AND in their relationship.

In this episode

• What is an overfunctioner, and what is the relational and psychological definition?
• Where the roots of overfunctioning often begin.
• The internal anxieties that come with overfunctioning and the unconscious coping behaviours to minimize and numb the feelings we can't be with.
• Overfunctioners while high performers have traded being loved for being needed.
• The disjointed relationship to needs, boundaries and emotional regulation that overfunctioners experience.
• The overfunctioners hidden need for control hides a very deep vulnerability.
• The covert manipulations that go on underneath the conscious awareness of an overfunctioner and the impact this has on relationship safety, intimacy and fulfillment.
• Overfunctioners over reliance on the inner masculine and the rejection of minimization of the inner feminine.
• Reclaiming surrender, emotional safety and interal autonomy as the pathway to healing.

Ready to join our academy and receive your weekly dose of relational education ONLY available to academy members? Ya of course you do! Get in on that goodness HERE

Next Episode

Attachment + Pacing: Come Here, Go Away, I Don’t Know

This month we're exploring the very trendy and hot topic of attachment styles. You know the patterns you unconsciously have related to the way you bond emotionally within romantic relationships.

A lot of dating and relating stresses can be connected to our attachment system going haywire and not having the tools and understanding to WORK WITH this part of ourselves.

Here's the thing, your attachment wiring isn't going anywhere. You can't will it away. You can't hide it. You can't out run it. But you can create intimacy with it. Doing so helps you feel much more grounded in dating, aligned within yourself and connected to make the best relational (and attachment) choice possible.

**In this episode we cover: **

• The basics of the four attachment styles in our signature comedic style.
• How each style is instictively pulled to pace in the dating phase.
• Why the Fantasy Bond is fucking up your dating, pacing and vetting and how to reign that sabotour in.
• Taking inventory on ourselves in the most HONEST way- discerning the way you WANT to act vs the way you ACTUALLY act when it comes to your dating life.
• Why humility and truth telling on yourself soothes and nourishes your attachment systems needs AND sets you up to date more congruently.
• Our NEW PODCAST AFTERPARTY POSSE ANNOUNCEMENT
• This week's MOVIE CLUB/STORY TIME: Runaway Bride

**Mentioned in this episode: **

To take the best attachment quiz (in our humble opinion) click HERE

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